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AUTHOR: 


STARKE,  D. 


TITLE. 


...POISE,  HOW  TO 
ATTAIN  IT 

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POISE 

HOW  TO  ATTAIN   IT 


I 


MENTAL   EFFICIENCY  SERIES 


THE    TEN    TITLES   IN    THE 

MENTAL    EFFICIENCY    SERIES 

<:> 

POISE:   HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 
D.  Starke 

CHARACTER:   HOW  TO  STRENGTHEN  IT 

D.  Starke 
TIMIDITY:   HOW  TO  OVERCOME  IT 

Yoritomo-Tashi 
INFLUENCE:  HOW  TO  EXERT  IT 

Yoritomo-Tashi 
COMMON  SENSE:  HOW  TO  EXERCISE  IT 

Yoritomo-Tashi 
PRACTICALITY:   HOW  TO  ACQUIRE  IT 

R.    NiCOLLE 

OPPORTUNITIES:    HOW   TO   MAKE   THE 
MOST  OF  THEM 
L    CharLiP'v 

PERSEVERANCE:    HOW  TO  DEVELOP  IT 

H   Besser 

SPEECH:   HOW  TO  USE  IT 
EFFECTIVELY 

PERSONALITY:   HOW  TO  BUILD  IT 
H.  Laurent 

FUNK  &  WAGNALLS  COMPACT, 
Publishers 

NEW  YORK  AND  LONDON 


i 


^ 


POISE 

HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 


By  D.  STARKE 


TBAN8I.ATED  BY  FeANCIS  MeDHUEST,  D.LiTT. 


AUTHORIZED   EDITION 


"Poiit  it  a  pow»r  derivtd  from  the  Mattery  of  8tlf 


FUMK    &   WAGNALLS    COMPANY 

NEW    TOBK  IX>NI)OK 

1016 


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COPYBIGHT,     1915,    BY 

FUNK  &  WAGNALLS  COMPANY 

{Printed  in  the  United  States  of  AmericaJ 

All  rights  reserved 


c 


^70 


PREFACE 

All  efforts  directed  toward  the  correcting  of 
temperamental  or  mental  blemishes  or  defects 
and  nervous  conditions  are  of  benefit  to  human- 
'ity.  In  producing  this  book  the  Author's  pur- 
pose was  to  help  mankind  to  overcome  these 
weaknesses,  which  are  a  serious  impediment  to 
mental  development,  and  hinder  personal  ad- 
vancement and  general  progress.  The  aim  of 
the  Publishers  in  issuing  this  translation  is  to 
put  into  the  hands  of  those  who  wish  to  over- 
come their  failings,  become  masters  of  them- 
selves, and  command  the  attention  and  respect 
of  others,  a  work  that  has  been  thoroughly  tested 
abroad  and  one  that  will  be  found  of  exceptional 
service  in  attaining  thensnd  in  view — the  secur- 
ing of  a  perfect  balance. 

This  book  is  written  in  two  parts.  The  first 
points  to  the  need  of  Poise  in  daily  life,  indi- 
cates the  obstacles  to  be  overcome,  and  discusses 
the  effects  of  Poise  on  personal  efficiency.  The 
second  instructs  the  reader  how  to  secure  that 
evenness  of  temperament  which  is  the  chief 
characteristic  of  Poise.    It  includes,  in  addition, 

tii 


IV 


PREFACE 


a  series  of  practical  physical  exercises  to  be  used 
in  acquiring  Poise. 

If  such  a  work  as  this  is  to  do  good,  if  the 
reader  really  wishes  to  benefit  by  the  advice  that 
it  gives  him,  it  must  be  read  thoughtfully  and 
diligently,  not  fitfully  and  forgetfully,  and  the 
reader  must  stedfastly  keep  before  him  the 
maxim  of  the  Author — ' '  Poise  is  a  power  derived 
from  the  Mastery  of  Self." 

The  Publishers. 


CONTENTS 


Preface 


PAGB 

•  •  • 

m 


PAET  ONE 


Poise  :  Its  Need,  Its  Enemies,  Its  Effect 

I.  The  Need  of  Poise  in  Life  ....       9 

II.  The  Enemies  of  Poise 29 

ni.  War  on  Timidity 47 


PAET  TWO 

How  TO  Acquire  Poise 

I.  Modesty  and  Effrontery  Contrasted  .     65 
n.  Physical  Exercises  to  Acquire  Poise  .     83 
m.  Four  Series  of  Physical  Exercises  .     90 
rV.  Practical    Exercises    for    Obtaining 

Poise 110 

V.  The  Supreme  Achievement     .     .     .  132 


? 


PARTI 

POISE:    ITS    NEED,    ITS   ENE 
MIES,  ITS  EFFECT 


i 

i 


CHAPTER   I 


i) 


1 

I 


THE  NEED  OF  POISE  IN  LIFE 

Lack  of  poise  has  always  been  an  obstacle  to 
those  who  are  imbued  with  the  desire  to  succeed. 

In  every  age  the  awkwardness  born  of  timidity 
has  served  to  keep  back  those  who  suffered  from 
it,  but  this  defect  has  never  been  so  great  a 
drawback  as  in  the  life  of  to-day. 

The  celebrated  phrase  of  the  ancient  Roman 
writer  who  said,  ''Fortune  smiles  on  the  brave," 
could  very  well  serve  as  our  motto  nowadays, 
with  this  slight  alteration:  ''Fortune  smiles  on 
those  who  are  possest  of  poise. ' ' 

At  this  point  let  us  attempt  an  exact  definition 
of  poise. 

It  is  a  quality  which  enables  us  to  judge  of 
our  own  value,  and  which,  in  revealing  to  us  the 
knowledge  of  the  things  of  which  we  are  really 
capable,  gives  us  at  the  same  time  the  desire  to 
accomplish  them. 

It  is  not  a  quality  wholly  simple.  On  the  con- 
trary, it  is  a  composite  of  many  others  all  of 
which  take  part  in  the  molding  of  that  totality 
which  bears  the  name  of  poise. 

9 


v" 


CHAPTER   I 

THE  NEED  OF  POISE  IN  LIFE 

Lack  of  poise  has  always  been  an  obstacle  to 
those  who  are  imbued  with  the  desire  to  succeed. 

In  every  age  the  awkwardness  born  of  timidity 
lias  served  to  keep  back  those  who  suffered  from 
it,  but  this  defect  has  never  been  so  great  a 
drawback  as  in  the  life  of  to-day. 

The  celebrated  phrase  of  the  ancient  Roman 
writer  who  said,  ''Fortune  smiles  on  the  brave/' 
could  very  well  serve  as  our  motto  nowadays, 
with  this  slight  alteration:  ''Fortune  smiles  on 
those  who  are  possest  of  poise. ' ' 

At  this  point  let  us  attempt  an  exact  definition 
of  poise. 

It  is  a  quality  which  enables  us  to  judge  of 
our  own  value,  and  which,  in  revealing  to  us  the 
knowledge  of  the  things  of  which  we  are  really  ^ 
capable,  gives  us  at  the  same  time  the  desire  to 
accomplish  them. 

It  is  not  a  quality  wholly  simple.  On  the  con- 
trary, it  is  a  composite  of  many  others  all  of 
which  take  part  in  the  molding  of  that  totality 
which  bears  the  name  of  poise. 

9 


( 


10     POISE:    HOW    TO    ATTAIN    IT 

It  may  be  well  to  pass  in  review  the  principal 
qualities  of  which  it  is  composed,  that  one  may 
characterize  as  follows: 

-  Reason. 

Knowledge  of  one's  own  value. 
«-  Correctness  of  judgment. 

Sincerity  toward  oneself. 
--The  power  of  resisting  the  appeals  of  self-love. 

Contempt  of  adverse  criticism. 
-Pride  that  is  free  from  vanity. 

A  definite  and  clearly  conceived  ambition. 

Will,  as  is  well  known,  is  the  pivot  of  all  our 
resolutions,  whether  the  question  for  the  moment 
be  how  to  form  them  or  how  to  keep  them  when 
formed.  * 

A  man  without  will-power  is  a  straw,  blown 
about  by  every  wind  and  carried,  whether  he 
will  or  no,  into  situations  in  which  he  has  no 
valid  reason  for  finding  himself. 

Without  the  will-power  which  enables  us  to 
take  a  firm  hold  of  ourselves  and  to  get  a  grip 
upon  our  impressions,  they  will  remain  vague 
and  nebulous  without  presenting  to  us  charac- 
ters of  sufficient  definiteness  to  enable  us  to 
direct  them  readily  into  the  proper  channels. 

It  is  will-power  which  gives  us  the  force  to 


f 


THE  NEED  OF  POISE  IN  LIFE       11 

maintain  a  resolution  which  will  lead  us  to  the 
hoped-for  goal  of  success. 

It  is  will-power  also  which  enables  us  to  cor- 
rect the  faults  which  stand  in  the  way  of  the 
acquiring  of  poise. 

We  are  not  now  speaking  of  those  idle  fancies 
which  are  no  more  than  manifestations  of  ner- 
vousness. We  have  in  mind  rather  that  con- 
troUed  and  enduring  purpose  which  arms  the 
heart  against  the  assaults  of  the  emotions  by  giv- 
ing it  the  strength  to  overcome  them. 

There  are  many  cases  even  in  which  will- 
power has  led  to  their  entire  suppression. 

This  happens  more  particularly  in  the  case  of 
those  artificial  emotions  that  the  man  of  reso- 
lution ignores  completely,  but  which  cause  agony 
to  the  timid  who  do  not  know  how  to  escape 
them,  and  exaggerate  them  to  excess. 

This  abnormal  development  of  their  personali- 
ties is  the  peculiarity  of  the  timid,  which  their 
fitful  efforts  of  wiU  only  heighten,  alienating 
fl-om  them  the  sympathy  which  might  be  of  as- 
sistance to  them. 

They  take  refuge  in  a  species  of  mischievous 
and  fruitless  activity,  leaving  the  field  open  to 
the  development  of  all  sorts  of  imaginary  ills 
that  argument  does  not  serve  to  combat. 


12     POISE:    HOW    TO    ATTAIN    IT 

Their  ego,  whose  importance  is  in  no  way 
counterbalanced  by  their  appreciation  of  the 
friends  they  keep  at  a  distance,  fills  their  entire 
existence  to  such  an  extent  that  they  have  no 
doubt  whatever  that,  when  they  are  in  public, 
every  eye  is,  of  necessity,  fixt  upon  them. 

Their  negative  will  leaves  them  at  the  mercy 
of  every  sort  of  emotion,  which,  in  arousing  in 
them  the  necessity  of  a  reaction  they  feel  them- 
selves powerless  to  realize,  reduces  them  to  a 
state  of  inferiority  that,  when  it  becomes  known, 
is  the  source  of  grave  embarrassment  to  them. 

The  power  of  will  which  sustains  those  who 
wish  to  acquire  the  habit  of  poise  is,  then,  the 
capacity  to  accomplish  acts  solely  because  one 
has  the  ardent  desire  to  achieve  them. 

We  are  now  speaking,  understand,  neither  of 
extreme  heroism  or  of  impossibilities. 

Another  point  presents  itself  here.  Will- 
power, in  order  to  preserve  its  energy,  must  be 
sustained  and  fixt.  At  this  price  alone  can  we 
achieve  poise.  We  must,  therefore,  thoroughly 
saturate  ourselves  with  this  principle:  Reason- 
ing-power  is  an  essential  element  in  the  upbuild- 
ing of  poise. 

It  is  reasoning-power  which  teaches  us  to  dis- 
tinguish between  those  things  that  we  must  be 


(     \ 


THE  NEED  OF  POISE  IN  LIFE       13 

careful  to  avoid  and  those  which  are  part  and 
parcel  of  the  domain  of  exaggeration  and  fantasy. 

It  is  also  by  means  of  reasoning  that  we  arrive 
at  the  proper  appreciation  of  the  just  mean  that 
we  must  observe.  It  is  by  its  aid  that  we  are  en- 
abled to  disentangle  those  impulses  that  will 
prove  profitable  from  a  chaos  of  useless  risks. 

It  is  always  by  virtue  of  deductions  depending 
upon  reason  that  we  are  able  to  adopt  a  resolu- 
tion or  to  maintain  an  attitude  that  we  believe 
to  be  correct,  while  preserving  our  self-posses- 
sion under  circumstances  in  which  persons  of  a 
timorous  disposition  would  certainly  lose  their 
heads. 

Those  who  know  how  to  reason  never  expose 
themselves  to  the  possibility  of  being  unhorsed 
by  fate  for  lack  of  good  reasons  for  strengthen- 
ing themselves  in  their  chosen  course. 

They  adhere,  in  the  very  heat  of  discussion  and 
in  spite  of  the  onslaughts  of  destiny,  to  the  line 
of  conduct  that  sage  reflection  has  taught  them 
to  adopt  and  are  more  than  careful  never  to 
abandon  it  except  for  the  most  valid  reasons. 

They  never  stray  into  the  byways  in  which  the 
timid  and  the  shrinking  constantly  wander  with- 
out sufficient  thought  of  the  goal  toward  which 
they  are  journeying. 


\ 


14     POISE:    HOW    TO    ATTAIN    IT 


They  know  where  they  are  going,  and  if,  now 
and  again,  they  ask  for  information  about  the 
road  that  remains  to  be  traveled,  it  is  with  no  in- 
tention of  changing  their  course,  but  simply  so  as 
not  to  miss  the  short  cuts  and  to  lose  nothing  of 
the  pleasures  of  the  scenes  through  which  they 
may  pass. 

Eeasoning-power  is  the  trade-mark  of  superior 
minds.  Mediocre  natures  take  no  interest  in  it 
and,  as  we  have  seen,  the  timid  are  incapable  of 
it,  except  in  so  far  as  it  follows  the  beaten  path. 

True  poise  never  is  guided  by  anything  but 
reason.  Certain  risks  can  never  be  undertaken 
save  after  ripe  deliberation. 

Confusion  is  never  the  fate  of  those  who  are 
resolved  on  a  definite  line  of  conduct. 

Such  people  are  careful  to  plumb  the  ques- 
tions with  which  they  have  to  grapple  and  to 
weigh  the  inconveniences  and  the  advantages  of 
the  acts  they  have  the  desire  to  accomplish. 

When  their  decision  is  once  made,  however, 
nothing  will  prevent  the  completion  of  the  work 
they  have  begun.  Such  people  are  ripe  for  suc- 
cess. 

The  knowledge  of  one's  real  worth  is  a  quality 
doubly  precious  when  contrasted  with  the  fact 
that  the  majority  of  people  are  more  than  m- 


THE  NEED  OF  POISE  IN  LIFE       15 

dulgent  to  their  own  failings.    Of  many  of  them 
It  may  be  said,  in  the  words  of  the  Arab  proverb 
couched  in  the  language  of  imagery:  -This  man' 
has  no  money,  but  in  his  pocket  everything  turns 
to  gold." 

This  saying,  divested  of  the  language  of  hy- 
perbole, means  simply  that  the  man  in  question 
IS  so  obsessed  with  the  greatness  of  his  own  per- 
sonal value  thac  he  exaggerates  the  importance 
of  everything  that  concerns  him. 

This  condition  is  a  much  more  common  one 
than  one  might  at  first  believe.  Many  an  oc- 
currence which,  when  it  happens  to  some  one 
else,  seems  to  us  quite  devoid  of  interest  be- 
comes,  when  it  directly  affects  us,  a  matter  to 
compel  the  attention  of  others,  to  the  extent  that 
we  find  ourselves  chilled  and  disappointed  when 
we  discover  that  we  are  the  victims  of  that  in- 
difference which  we  were  prepared  to  exhibit 
toward  other  people  under  similar  circum- 
stances. 

The  consciousness  of  our  own  worth  must  not 
be  confounded  with  that  adoration  of  self  which 
transforms  poise  into  egotism. 

It  is  a  good  thing  to  know  one's  own  powers 
sufficiently  well  to  undertake  only  such  tasks  as 
are  certainly  within  the  scope  of  one's  abilities. 


16     POISE:    HOW    TO    ATTAIN    IT 

To  believe  oneself  more  capable  than  one 
really  is,  is  a  fault  that  is  far  too  common.  It  is, 
nevertheless,  less  harmful  in  the  long  run  than 
the  failing  which  is  its  exact  antithesis.  Lack  of 
confidence  in  one's  own  powers  is  the  source  of 
every  kind  of  feebleness  and  of  all  unsuccess. 

It  is  for  this  reason  that  poise  never  can  exist 
without  another  quality,  that  correctness  of 
judgment  which,  in  giving  us  the  breadth  of 
mind  to  know  exactly  how  much  we  are  capable 
of,  permits  us  to  undertake  our  tasks  without 
boasting  and  without  hesitation. 

Soundness  of  judgment  is  the  faculty  of  being 
able  to  appreciate  the  merits  of  our  neighbors 
without  cherishing  any  illusions  as  to  our  owti, 
and  of  being  able  to  do  this  so  exactly  that  we 
can  with  assurance  carry  out  to  its  end  any  un- 
dertaking, knowing  that  the  result  must  be,  bar- 
ring accidents,  precisely  what  we  have  foreseen. 

This  being  the  case,  what  possible  reason  can 
we  have  for  depreciating  ourselves  or  for  lack- 
ing poise? 

Timid  people  suffer  without  recognizing  their 
own  defects  in  the  matter  of  insight. 

They  torture  themselves  by  building  their 
judgments  upon  indications  and  not  upon  facts. 

If  the  perception  of  a  man  of  resolution  causes 


THE  NEED  OF  POISE  IN  LIFE       17 

him  to  understand  at  once  the  emptiness  of  criti- 
cisms based  on  envy  or  spleen,  the  timid  man, 
always  ready  to  seize  upon  anything  that  can  be 
possibly  construed  into  an  appearance  of  ridicule 
directed  against  himself,  will  give  up  a  project 
that  he  hears  criticized  without  stopping  to 
weigh  the  value  of  the  arguments  advanced. 

Far  from  arguing  the  question  out,  or  attempt- 
ing a  rebuttal,  he  never  even  dreams  of  it.  The 
very  thought  of  a  contest,  however  courteously  it 
may  be  conducted,  frightening  him  to  such  an 
extent  that  he  loses  all  his  ideas. 

The  unfortunate  shrinking  which  characterizes 
him  makes  him  an  easy  prey  for  people  of  exag- 
gerated enthusiasms  a^  well  as  to  quick  disillu- 
sionment. 

A  token  of  apparent  sympathy  touches  him  so 
profoundly  that  he  does  not  wait  to  estimate  its 
value  and  to  decide  whether  it  be  sincere  or  not. 

He  passes  in  a  moment  from  careless  gaiety  to 
the  blackest  despair  if  he  imagines  that  he  has 
observed  even  the  appearance  of  an  unsympa- 
thetic gesture. 

He  does  not  need  to  be  sure,  to  be  miserable. 
It  is  enough  for  him  if  the  circumstances  that  he 
thought  favorable  become  seemingly  hostile  and 
antagonistic. 


18     POISE:    HOW    TO    ATTAIN    IT 

How  utterly  different  is  the  attitude  of  the 
man  who  is  endowed  with  poise ! 

His  firmness  of  soul  saves  him  from  uncon- 
sidered enthusiasms  and  he  jealously  preserves 
his  control  in  the  presence  of  excessive  protes- 
tations as  well  as  when  confronting  indications 
of  aimless  antagonism. 

How  can  such  a  man  as  this  possibly  fail  to 
form  a  correct  judgment  and  to  benefit  by  all 
the  qualities  that  depend  upon  it? 

Absolute  sincerity  toward  oneself  is  one  of  the 
forms  of  sound  judgment. 

Without  indulging  in  excessive  modesty,  it  is 
a  good  thing  to  endeavor  to  become  intimately 
acquainted  with  one's  aptitudes  and  one's  fail- 
ings, and  to  admit  the  latter  with  the  utmost 
frankness  in  order  to  set  about  the  work  of  cor- 
recting them. 

It  is  also  necessary  to  know  exactly  what  sort 
of  territory  it  is  in  which  one  is  taking  one's 

risks. 

The  world  of  affairs,  whatever  these  last  may 
happen  to  be,  may  be  likened  to  a  vast  preserve 
containing  traps  for  wild  beasts. 

The  man  who  wishes  to  walk  in  such  a  place 
without  coming  to  harm  will,  first  of  all,  make  a 
careful  study  of  the  ground  for  the  purpose  of 


THE  NEED  OF  POISE  IN  LIFE       19 

avoiding  the  traps  and  pitfalls  that  may  engulf 
him  or  wound  him  as  he  passes. 

Just  as  soon  as  he  has  located  these  dangers 
his  step  becomes  firm  and  he  can  advance  with  a 
tranquil  gait  and  head  upraised  along  the  paths 
which  he  knows  do  not  conceal  any  dangerous 
surprizes. 

These  are  the  pitfalls  that  most  frequently 
threaten  that  daring  that  we  sometimes  find  in 
the  timid. 

Their  very  defects  preventing  them  from  mak- 
ing proper  comparisons,  they  are  altogether  too 
prone  to  ignore  their  faults  and  to  magnify  their 
virtues  and  so  fall  an  easy  prey  to  the  designer 
and  the  sharper. 

Their  very  carelessness  in  estimating  other 
people  becomes  the  foundation  of  an  involuntary 
partiality  the  moment  they  are  called  upon  to 
judge  their  own  actions. 

It  is  not  deliberate  self-indulgence  that  drives 
them  to  act  in  this  way,  but  their  inexperience, 
which  gives  rise  in  them  to  the  desire  for  per- 
fection, and  this  necessarily  provokes,  simul- 
taneously with  the  despair  caused  by  their  fail- 
ure to  attain  it,  a  fear  of  having  this  failure  re- 
marked or  commented  upon. 

The  man  who  possesses  poise  is  too  familiar 


^0     POISE:    HOW    TO    ATTAIN    IT 

with  the  realities  of  life  not  to  be  aware  that  the 
search  for  such  an  ideal  is  a  Utopian  dream. 

But  he  is  also  aware  that,  if  actual  perfection 
does  not  exist,  it  is  the  bounden  duty  of  man  to 
struggle  always  in  pursuit  of  good  and  to  show 
appreciation  of  it  in  whatsoever  form  it  may 
manifest  itself. 

Sincerity  toward  himself  thus  becomes  for  him 
an  easy  matter  indeed,  and  for  the  very  reason 
that  his  poise  leaves  him  absolutely  free  to  form 
a  correct  estimate  of  others. 

Serious  self-examination  throws  a  clear  light 
for  him  upon  those  merits  of  which  he  has  a 
right  to  be  proud,  while  revealing  to  him  at  the 
same  time  the  faults  to  which  he  is  most  likely 
to  yield. 

The  habit  of  estimating  himself  and  his  own 
qualities  without  fear  or  favor  gives  him  great 
facility  for  gaging  the  motives  of  other  people. 

He  thus  avoids  the  pitfalls  that  a  biased  view- 
point spreads  before  the  feet  of  the  foolish, 
and  at  the  same  time  represses  that  feeling  of 
vanity  which  might  lead  him  to  believe  that  he 
is  altogether  too  clever  to  fall  into  them. 

He  watches  himself  constantly  to  avoid  get- 
ting into  the  bypaths  which  he  sees  with  sorrow 
that  others  are  following,  and  does  not  fail  to 


THE  NEED  OF  POISE  IN  LIFE       21 

estimate  accurately  the  value  of  the  victories  he 
achieves  over  himself  as  well  as  over  the  du- 
plicity of  most  of  the  people  who  surround  him. 

And  this  superiority  is  what  makes  certain  his 
poise.  More  difficult  perhaps  than  anything  else 
to  acquire  is  the  power  to  resist  the  appeals  of 
one's  own  self-love. 

We  will  explain  this  later  at  greater  length. 
Lack  of  poise  is  often  due  to  nothing  so  much 
as  an  excess  of  vanity  which  throws  one  back 
upon  oneself  from  the  fear  of  not  being  able  to 
shine  in  the  front  rank. 

Such  a  person  does  not  say  to  himself:  **I  will 
conquer  this  place  by  sheer  merit. ' '  He  contents 
himself  with  envying  those  who  occupy  it,  quite 
neglecting  to  put  forth  the  efforts  which  would 
place  him  there  beside  them. 

There  is  nothing  worse  than  yielding  to  an 
exaggerated  tenderness  toward  ourselves,  which, 
by  magnifying  our  merits  in  our  own  eyes,  fre- 
quently leads  us  to  make  attempts  which  result 
in  failure  and  expose  us  to  ridicule. 

This  is  a  most  frequent  cause  of  making  an 
inveterate  coward  of  one  who  is  subject  to  occa- 
sional attacks  of  timidity. 

To  know  one's  limitations  exactly  and  never 
to  allow  oneself  to  exceed  them — this  is  the  part 


22     POISE:    HOW    TO    ATTAIN    IT 

of  wisdom,  the  act  of  a  man  who,  as  the  saying 
goes,  knows  what  he  is  about. 

There  is  in  every  effort  a  necessary  limit  that 
it  is  not  wise  to  exceed. 

*  *  Never  force  your  talents, ' '  says  a  very  pithy 
proverb.  Never  undertake  to  do  a  thing  that  is 
beyond  your  powers. 

Never  allow  yourself  to  be  drawn  into  a  dis- 
cussion on  a  subject  which  is  beyond  your  intel- 
lectual depth.  To  do  so  is  to  take  the  risk  of 
making  mistakes  that  will  render  you  ridiculous. 

But  if  you  are  quite  convinced  that  you  can 
come  out  victorious,  never  hesitate  to  enter  a 
trial  of  wits  that  may  serve  as  an  occasion  for 
demonstrating  the  fact  that  you  are  sure  of  your 
subject. 

The  man  who  cultivates  poise  will  never  let 
pass  such  opportunities  as  this  for  exhibiting 
himself  in  a  favorable  light. 

Conscious  of  the  soundness  of  his  own  judg- 
ment, and  filled  with  a  real  sincerity  toward 
himself,  he  will  not  allow  himself  to  be  carried 
away  by  a  possible  chance  of  success.  Rather 
will  he  gather  himself  together,  collect  his  forces, 
and  wait  until  he  can  achieve  a  real  effect  upon 
the  minds  of  those  whom  he  wishes  to  impress. 

Similarly  the  result  of  unsuccees  in  such  a 


'I' 


THE  NEED  OF  POISE  IN  LIFE       23 

venture  is  obvious.  It  has  the  effect  of  develop- 
ing a  distrust  of  oneself  and  of  destroying  the 
superb  assurance  of  those  people  of  whom  it  is 
often  said :  *  ^  Oh,  he !  He  is  sailing  with  the  wind 
at  his  back!" 

People  generally  fail  to  add  in  these  cases 
that  such  persons  have  left  nothing  undone  to 
accomplish  this  result  and  are  more  than  careful 
not  to  weigh  anchor  when  the  wind  is  not 
favorable. 

It  is  true  enough  that  there  can  be  no  actual 
shelter  from  a  storm,  but  the  mariner  who  is  pre- 
pared is  able  to  ride  it  out  without  appreciable 
damage,  while  those  who  are  not  prepared  gener- 
ally founder  on  account  of  their  poor  seamanship. 

Disregard  of  calumny  is  always  the  index  of 
a  noble  spirit. 

The  man  who  wastes  time  over  such  indignities 
and  who  allows  himself  to  be  affected  by  them 
is  not  of  the  stature  that  insures  victory  in  the 
struggle. 

Minds  of  large  caliber  disdain  these  manifes- 
tations of  futile  jealousy. 

People  of  obscurity  are  never  vilified.  Only 
those  whose  merits  have  placed  them  in  the  lime- 
light are  the  targets  for  the  attacks  of  envy  and 
for  the  slanders  of  falsehood. 


M     POISE:    HOW    TO    ATTAIN    IT 

A  precept  that  has  often  been  enunciated,  and 
can  not  be  too  often  repeated,  which  should,  in- 
deed, be  inscribed  in  letters  of  gold  over  the 
doors  of  every  institution  where  men  meet  to- 
gether, runs  as  follows:  '^Envy  and  malice  are 
nothing  more  than  homage  rendered  to  supe- 
riority." 

Only  those  who  occupy  an  enviable  position 

can  become  objects  of  calumny. 

Such  calumny  is  always  the  work  of  the  un- 
worthy, who  think  to  advertise  their  own  merits 
by  denying  those  of  better  men. 

Men  of  resolution  under  such  circumstances 
simply  shrug  their  shoulders  and  pass  by. 

The  rest,  those  who  are  enslaved  by  timidity, 
become  confused. 

Their  ego,  which  they  cultivated  in  a  fashion 
at  once  obscure  and  absolute,  becomes  so  pro- 
foundly affected  that  they  lack  all  courage  to 

openly  defend  it. 

Moreover,  that  instinctive  need  of  sympathy, 
which  is  so  marked  a  characteristic  of  the  timid, 
is  deeply  wounded,  while  their  chronic  fear  of 
disapprobation  is  strengthened  by  the  criticisms 

spread  abroad.  ,  . 

The  illogicality  of  these  sentiments  is  obvious. 
The  man  who  is  timid  shuns  society,  yet  never- 


'* 


THE  NEED  OF  POISE  IN  LIFE       26 

theless  the  judgments  of  this  same  society  are 
for  him  a  question  of  absorbing  interest.  Tim- 
idity is,  in  effect,  a  disease  of  many  forms,  every 
one  of  which  is  founded  upon  illogicality. 

It  is  always  a  mental  weakness.  It  is  some- 
times vanity,  but  never  pride,  that  reasonable 
pride  that  a  philosophy  now  abandoned  once 
numbered  as  one  of  the  principal  vices,  and 
which,  if  rightly  estimated,  can  be  considered  as 
the  motive  power  of  every  noble  action. 

Pride  is  a  force.  It  is  therefore  a  virtue  which 
must  of  necessity  be  one  of  the  components  of 
poise,  so  long  as  it  contains  within  it  no  seeds 
of  vanity.  Under  such  circumstances  it  is  a 
primal  condition  of  success  in  the  achievement 
of  poise.  Pride  must,  however,  be  free  from 
vanity,  otherwise  it  ceases  to  be  a  force  and  be- 
comes a  cause  of  deterioration. 

As  a  matter  of  fact,  those  who  are  conceited 
are  always  the  dupes  of  their  own  desire  to  bulk 
largely  in  the  minds  of  others,  and  at  the  mere 
thought  that  they  will  not  shine  as  they  have 
hoped  to  do  the  majority  of  them  are  put  en- 1 
tirely  out  of  countenance  and  are  quite  at  a  loss  I 
for  means  of  expression. 

The  inevitable  result  of  this  tendency  is  to 
drive  them  into  association  with  mediocrity.    In 


26     POISE:    HOW    TO    ATTAIN    IT 

such  a  society  alone  will  the  vain  find  them- 
selves at  their  ease.  But  the  very  moment  that 
they  find  themselves  in  the  presence  of  those 
who  are  their  superiors,  the  fear  of  not  being  able 
to  occupy  the  front  rank  throws  them  into  such 
a  state  of  mental  disarray  that  they  entirely  lose 
their  assurance  and  that  appearance  of  poise  by 
whose  aid  they  are  often  able  to  deceive  others. 

Finally,  one  of  the  most  solid  elements  of 
poise  is,  without  doubt,  a  well-defined  ambition, 
that  is  to  say,  one  that  is  divested  of  the  draw- 
backs of  frivolity  and  directly  winged  toward  the 
goal  of  one's  hopes. 

The  man  who  possesses  ambition  of  this  kind 
is  certainly  destined  to  acquire,  if  he  has  not 
already  acquired  it,  that  poise  which  is  abso- 
lutely necessary  to  him  in  order  to  make  his 
way  in  the  world. 

He  will  neither  be  pretentious  nor  timorous, 
exaggerated  nor  fearful.  He  will  go  forward 
without  hesitation  toward  the  goal  which  he 
knows  to  be  before  him,  and  will  make,  without 
any  apologies,  those  detours  which  seem  to  him 
necessary  to  the  success  of  his  undertaking, 
without  paying  any  attention  to  the  fruitless 
distractions  that  make  victims  of  the  rash. 

He  will  not  have  to  put  up  with  the  affront  of 


1 


THE  NEED  OF  POISE  IN  LIFE       27 

being  refused,  for  he  will  ask  aid  only  of  those 
persons  who,  for  various  reasons,  he  is  practi- 
cally sure  will  be  of  assistance  to  him.  The 
1rngwlfi(lgft  of  his  own  deserts,  while  keeping  him 
in  the  position  he  has  attained,  will  prevent  him 
from  being  satisfied  in  commonplace  surround- 
ings, and  his  will-power  will  always  maintain 
him  at  the  level  he  has  reached,  permitting  him 
no  latitude  save  that  of  exceeding  it. 

Such  is  true  poise,  not  that  whose  spirit  one 
violates  by  merely  associating  it  with  the  in- 
capable, the  pretentious,  or  the  extravagant, 
but  that  which  is  at  once  the  motive  power  and 
the  inspiration  of  all  the  actions  of  those  who, 
in  their  determination  to  force  their  way 
through  the  great  modern  struggle  for  exist- 
ence, perse veringly  follow  a  line  of  conduct  that 
they  have  worked  out  for  themselves  in  advance. 

Ignoring  such  enterprises  as  they  know  to  be 
unworthy  of  their  powers,  those  who  are  pos- 
sest  of  real  poise  (and  not  of  that  foolish 
temerity  colloquially  known  as  hluff)  will  devote 
themselves  solely  to  such  tasks  as  a  well-ordered 
judgment  and  an  accurate  knowledge  of  their 
own  potentialities  indicate  to  them  to  be  fitting. 

Does  this  mean  that  they  will  succeed  in  every 
case  ? 


f 


28     POISE:    HOW    TO    ATTAIN    IT 

Unfortunately,  no !  But  such  of  them  as  have 
met  with  temporary  failure,  if  they  are  able  to 
assure  themselves  that  their  lack  of  success 
has  been  due  neither  to  a  failure  of  will-power 
nor  a  fear  of  ridicule,  will  return  to  the  charge, 
once  more  prepared  to  make  headway  against 
circumstances  which  they  have  the  poise  to  fore- 
see, and  which  they  will  at  least  render  in- 
capable of  harming  them,  even  if  they  lack  the 
necessary  force  to  dominate  them  completely  to 
their  own  advantage. 


CHAPTER  II 

THE  ENEMIES  OF  POISE 

The  enemies  of  poise  are  many  and  of  differ- 
ent  origins,  both  of  feeling  and  of  impulse. 

They  all  tend,  however,  toward  the  same 
result,  the  cessation  of  effort  under  pretexts 
more  or  less  specious. 

It  is  of  no  use  deceiving  ourselves.  Lack  of 
poise  has  its  roots  deep  in  all  the  faults  which 
are  caused  by  apathy  and  purgoseless^ variety. 

We  have  learned  in  the  previous  chapter  how 
greatly  the  vice  of  lack  of  confidence  in  oneself 
can  retard  the  development  of  the  quality  we 
are  considering. 

Balanced  between  the  desire  to  succeed  and 
the  fear  of  failure,  the  timid  man  leads  a  miser- 
able  existence,  tortured  by  unavailing  regrets 
and  by  no  less  useless  aspirations,  which  tor- 
ment him  like  the  worm  that  dieth  not. 

Little  by  little  the  habit  of  physical  inaction 
engenders  a  moral  inertia  and  the  victim  learns 
to  fly  from  every  opportunity  of  escaping  from 
his  bondage. 

29 


30       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

Very  soon  an  habitual  state  of  idleness  takes 
possession  of  him  and  causes  him  to  avoid  every- 
thing that  tends  to  make  action  necessary. 

The  dread  of  responsibility  that  might  de- 
volve upon  him  turns  him  aside  from  every  sort 
of  endeavor,  and  he  passes  his  life  in  a  hopeless 
and  sluggish  inaction,  from  a  fear  of  drawing 
down  upon  himself  reproaches  to  which  he 
might  have  to  make  answer  or  of  being  com- 
pelled to  take  part  in  discussions  which  would 
involve  the  disturbing  of  his  indolent  repose. 

Are  we  to  suppose  then  that  he  finds  real 
happiness  in  such  a  state  of  things? 

Certainly  not,  for  this  negative  existence 
weighs  upon  him  with  all  the  burden  of  a  mon- 
otony that  he  feels  powerless  to  throw  off.  His 
own  mediocrity  enrages  him  while  the  success 
of  others  fills  him  with  dismay. 

Nevertheless  his  weakness  of  character  allows 
the  hate  of  action  to  speak  more  loudly  to  him 
than  legitimate  ambition,  and  keeps  him  in  a 
state  of  obvious  inferiority  that  of  itself  gives 
birth  to  numberless  new  enemies,  who  end  by 
destroying  him  utterly. 

He  is  first  attacked  by  slowness  of  compre- 
hension, the  inevitable  consequence  of  that  idle- 
ness that  causes  the  cowardly  to  shun  the  battle. 


THE  ENEMIES  OF  POISE 


$1 


» 


Rather  than  combat  influences  from  without 
«e  allows  them  daily  to  assume  a  more  prominent 
and  a  more  definite  place  in  his  thoughts. 

His  hatred  of  action  says  no  to  all  initiative 
and  he  considers  that  he  has  accomplished  his 
whole  duty  toward  society  and  toward  himself 
when  he  says:  "What's  the  use  of  undertaking 
this  or  that?  I  haven't  a  chance  of  succeeding 
and  it  is  therefore  idle  to  invite  defeat!" 

So  quickly  does  the  change  work  that  his 
mind,  from  lack  of  proper  exercise,  rapidly 
reaches  the  condition  where  it  can  not  volun- 
tarily comprehend  any  but  the  most  simple 
affairs  and  goes  to  pieces  when  confronted  with 
occasions  that  call  for  reflection  or  reasoning, 
which  he  considers  as  the  hardest  kind  of  work. 

It  is  hardly  a  matter  for  astonishment,  there- 
fore, that  under  these  conditions  effeminacy 
should  take  possession  of  a  soul  that  has  become 
the  sport  of  all  the  weaknesses  that  are  bom 
of  a  desire  to  avoid  exertion. 

We  do  not  care  to  draw  the  picture  of  that 
case  too  often  encountered  in  which  this  moral 
defeat  becomes  changed  into  envy,  the  feeling 
of  bitterness  against  all  men,  the  veritable  hell 
of  the  man  who  has  not  the  power  to  make  the 
effort  that  shall  free  him. 


32       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

Mental  instability  is  the  inevitable  conse- 
quence of  this  state  of  affairs. 

All  brain-activity  being  regarded  as  a  useless 
toil,  the  man  of  timidity  never  understands  the 
depth  of  the  questions  he  has  not  the  courage 
to  discuss.  If  he  does  talk  of  them,  it  is  with- 
a  bias  rendered  all  the  more  prejudiced  by  the 
fact  that,  instead  of  expressing  his  ideas,  he 
takes  refuge  in  fortifying  his  heresies  with 
arguments  of  which  the  smallest  discussion 
would  demonstrate  the  worthlessness. 

This  unwillingness  to  discuss  conditions  gives 
rise  among  people  who  are  deficient  in  poise  to 
a  special  form  of  reasoning,  which  causes  them 
to  summarize  in  the  most  hurried  fashion  even 
the  gravest  events,  upon  the  sole  consideration 
that  they  are  not  asked  to  take  part  in  them. 
If,  by  any  chance,  they  are  forced  to  be  actors 
in  these  events  the  least  little  incident  assumes 
for  them  the  most  formidable  proportions. 

It  seems  probable  that  this  tendency  to  exag- 
gerate everything  with  which  they  come  in  con- 
tact is  due  solely  to  egoism.  It  is  certain  at 
any  rate  that  egoism  plays  a  large  part  in  it, 
but  some  portion  of  it  is  due  to  the  lack  of  ob- 
servation that  characterizes  all  people  of 
timidity. 


THE  ENEMIES  OF  POISE 


38 


The  mental  idleness  and  the  instability  of 
mind  that  we  have  already  considered  render 
such  people  less  inclined  to  consider  with  any 
degree  of  care  those  things  which  do  not  touch 
them  directly. 

At  this  stage,  it  is  no  longer  possible  for  them 
to  feign  ignorance  in  order  to  avoid  the  trouble 
of  thinking,  and  they  are  only  touched,  even  by 
the  most  personal  matters,  to  the  extent  that  cir- 
cumstances impose  upon  them  the  necessity  of 
thinking  or  of  acting  with  reference  to  the 
subject  under  consideration. 

The  idea  that  they  can  no  longer  avoid  the 
resolutions  which  must  be  made  and  their  fear 
of  the  consequences  which  may  result  from 
these  affect  them  to  such  a  profound  extent  that 
the  most  insignificant  of  occurrences  immedi- 
ately assumes  for  them  an  altogether  incommen- 
surate importance. 

This  state  of  mind  is  a  notable  foe  of  poise. 
It  is  practically  impossible  for  a  person  under 
such  conditions  to  believe  that  any  considerable 
effort  he  has  made  can  have  passed  unperceived. 

This  propensity  to  assign  an  exaggerated  im« 
portance  to  personal  affairs  develops  egoism, 
the  avowed  enemy  of  poise.  An  egoist  neces- 
sarily assumes  that  the  rest  of  the  world  at- 


34       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 


tributes  to  his  acts  the  importance  he  himself 
assigns  to  them. 

This  preoccupation  does  not  fail  to  upset  him. 
It  increases  his  embarrassment  and  the  fear  of 
not  appearing  in  the  light  in  which  he  wishes 
to  be  seen  paralyzes  him,  while  the  dread  of 
what  other  people  may  think  prevents  him  from 
being  himself. 

To  this  cause  many  otherwise  inexplicable 
defeats  must  be  assigned,  the  result  of  which  is 
a  renewed  resentment  against  the  world  at  large 
and  an  ardent  desire  to  avoid  any  further  ex- 
posure to  the  chance  of  failure. 

A  case  in  point  is  the  man  who  becomes  ner- 
vous while  making  a  speech,  starts  to  stammer, 
and  makes  a  lamentable  failure  of  what  began 
well  enough,  because  he  imagines  that  persons 
in  the  audience  are  making  fun  of  him. 

He  has  overheard  a  word,  or  surprized  a  look, 
neither  of  which  had  any  relation  to  him,  but 
so  great  is  his  egoism  that  he  does  not  dream 
that  any  one  in  the  audience  can  be  so  lacking 
in  taste  as  to  be  concerned  with  anything  but 
himself. 

Had  this  man,  in  spite  of  his  egoism,  been 
endowed  with  poise,  he  would  have  gone  along 
calmly,   simply   forcing   himself   to  ignore   all 


THE  ENEMIES  OF  POISE 


35 


criticism  and  to  impress  his  very  critics  by  his 
attitude  and  his  eloquence.  But  his  distrust 
of  himself,  his  mental  instability,  his  habitual 
weakness  of  reasoning,  all  these  enemies  of  poise 
league  themselves  together  to  inflict  upon  him 
a  defeat,  of  which  the  memory  will  only  aggra- 
vate his  nervousness  and  his  desire  never  to 
repeat  such  an  unpleasant  experience. 

For  the  man  who  has  no  poise  there  is  no 
snatching  victory  from  defeat.  His  feeble  will- 
power is  completely  routed,  and  the  effort  in- 
volved in  stemming  the  tide  of  adverse  opinion 
is  to  him  an  impossibility. 

From  dread  of  being  carried  away  by  the 
current,  and  feeling  himself  incapable  of 
struggling  against  it,  he  prefers  to  hide  him- 
self in  the  caves  along  the  shore,  rather  than 
to  make  one  desperate  effort  to  cross  the  stream. 

But  the  very  isolation  he  seeks,  in  depriving 
him  of  moral  support,  increases  his  embarrass- 
ment. 

**It  is  not  good  for  man  to  be  alone,"  says 
Holy  Writ.  It  is  certainly  deplorable,  for  one 
who  desires  to  make  his  way,  to  find  himself 
without  a  prop,  without  a  counsellor,  and  with- 
out a  guide. 

This  is  the  case  of  those  timid  persons  who 


S6       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

do  not  understand  how  to   make   friends   for 
themselves. 

Poise,  on  the  other  hand,  iuvltes  sympathy. 
It  aids  men  to  expand.  It  creates  friends  when 
needed,  and  weaves  the  bonds  of  comradeship 
and  of  protection  without  which  our  social 
fabric  could  not  hold  together. 

Educators  should  seek  for  inspiration  in  the 
lessons  that  the  exigencies  of  modern  life  offer 
to  the  view  of  the  observer.  Excessive  modesty, 
sworn  enemy  of  poise,  is,  socially  speaking,  a 
fault  from  which  young  minds  should  be  care- 
fully guarded. 

It  is  the  open  door  to  all   the   feeblenesses 
which  interfere  with  the  development  of  poise. 
It  is  a  mistake  that  it  has  so  long  been  con- 
sidered  as  a  virtue. 

In  any  case,  the  day  of  extreme  humility  is 
past.  This  detachment  from  oneself  is  con- 
trary to  all  the  laws  of  progress. 

It  is  opposed  to  all  the  principles  of  evolution 
and  of  growth  which  should  be  the  study  of  all 
our  contemporaries,  whatever  their  station  or 
the  class  to  which  they  may  happen  to  belong. 

No  man  has  the  right  to  withdraw  himself 
from  the  battle  and  to  shirk  his  duties,  while 
watching  other  people  fighting  to  maintain  the 


THE  ENEMIES  OF  POISE 


87 


social  equilibrium  and  seeking  to  achieve  the 
position  to  which  their  talents  and  their  attain- 
ments render  them  worthy  to  aspire. 

That  which  is  too  easily  honored  with  the  title 
of  modesty  is  generally  nothing  more  than  a 
screen  behind  which  conscious  ineptitude  con- 
ceals itself. 

It  is  a  very  easy  thing  to  strike  a  disdainful 
attitude  and  to  exclaim:  ''1  didn't  care  to  com- 
pete !*' 

Do  not  forget  that  a  defeat  after  a  sanguinary 
combat  is  infinitely  more  honorable  than  a  re- 
treat in  which  not  a  blow  is  struck. 

Moreover,  the  combats  of  the  mind  temper  the 
soul,  just  as  those  of  the  body  fortify  the  flesh, 
by  making  both  fit  for  the  victory  that  is  to  be. 

It  is  then  against  the  enemies  of  poise  that 
we  must  go  forth  to  war. 

Cowardice  must  be  hunted  down,  wherever  we 
encounter  it,  because  its  victims  are  thrown  into 
the  struggle  of  life  burdened  with  an  undeni- 
able inferiority. 

Even  if  they  are  worth  while  no  one  will  be 
found  to  observe  it,  since  their  lack  of  poise 
always  turns  them  back  upon  themselves,  and 
very  few  people  have  the  wit  to  discover  what 
is  so  sedulously  concealed. 


i 


M       POIRE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

Daeeption  is  the  necessary  oorollary  of  this, 
and  one  that  very  soon  becomes  changed  into 
spite.  The  disappointment  of  being  misunder- 
stood must  inevitably  lead  us  to  condemn  those 
who  do  not  comprehend  us.  Our  shyness  will 
be  increased  at  this  and  we  shall  end  by  dis- 
believing ourselves  in  the  qualities  that  we  find 
other  people  ignoring  in  us. 

From  this  condition  of  discouragement  to 
that  of  mental  inertia  it  is  but  a  step,  and  many 
worthy  people  who  lack  poise  have  rapidly 
traveled  this  road  to  plunge  themselves  into  the 
obscurity  of  renunciation. 

They  are  like  paralytics.  Like  these  poor 
creatures  they  have  limbs  which  are  of  no  serv- 
ice to  them  and  which  from  habitual  lack  of 
functioning  end  by  becoming  permanently  use- 
less. 

If  their  nature  is  a  bad  one  they  will  have 
still  more  reason  to  complain  of  this  lack  of 
poise,  with  its  train  of  inconveniences  of  which 
we  have  been  treating,  that  will  leave  them 
weakened  and  a  prey  to  all  sorts  of  mental  ex- 
cesses which  will  be  the  more  serious  in  their 
effects  for  the  fact  that  their  existence  is  known 
to  no  one  but  the  victims. 

Instead  of  admitting  that  their  lack  of  pois^— 


THE  ENEMIES  OF  POISE 


39 


due  to  the  various  faults  of  character  we  have 
been  discussing — is  the  sole  cause  of  the  ap- 
parent ostracism  from  which  they  suffer,  they 
indulge  in  accusations  against  fate,  against  the 
world,  against  circumstances,  and  grow  to  hat« 
all  those  who  have  succeeded,  without  being 
willing  to  acknowledge  that  they  have  never 
seriously  made  the  attempt  themselves. 

Only  those  return  home  with  the  spoils  who 
have  taken  part  in  the  battle,  have  paid  with 
their  blood  and  risked  their  lives. 

The  man  who  remains  in  hiding  behind  the 
walls  of  his  house  can  hardly  be  astonished  that 
such  honors  do  not  come  his  way. 

Life  is  a  battle,  and  victory  is  always  to  the 
strong.  The  timid  are  never  called  upon  to 
take  their  share  of  the  booty.  It  becomes  the 
property  of  those  who  have  had  the  force  to  win 
it,  either  by  sheer  courage  or  by  cautious 
strategy,  for  real  bravery  is  not  always  that 
which  calls  for  the  easy  applause  of  the  crowd. 

It  is  found  just  as  much  among  those  who 
have  the  will-power  to  keep  silent  as  to  their 
plans  and  to  resist  the  temptation  to  actions 
which,  while  satisfying  their  desire  for  energetic 
measures  may  destroy  the  edifice  that  they  have 
so  «arefully  constructed. 


40       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 


THE  ENEMIES  OF  POISE 


41 


It  is  for  this  reason  that  enthusiasm  may  be 
considered  with  justice  as  an  enemy  of  poise. 

Those  who  act  under  the  domination  of  an 
impulse  born  of  a  too-vivid  impression  are 
rarely  in  a  state  of  mind  that  can  be  depended 
upon  to  judge  sanely  and  impartially.  They 
nearly  always  overshoot  the  mark  at  which  they 
aim.  They  are  like  runners  dashing  forward  at 
such  a  high  speed  that  they  can  not  bring  them- 
selves to  a  sudden  stop.  Habitual  enthusiasm 
is  also  the  enemy  of  reflection.  It  is  an  obstacle 
to  that  reason  from  which  proceed  strong  re- 
solves, and  one  is  often  impelled,  in  observing 
people  who  are  fired  with  too  great  an  ardor,  to 
thoughts  of  the  fable  of  the  burning  straw. 

A  teacher,  who  inclined  to  the  methods  that 
consist  of  object  lessons,  one  day  asked  two 
children  to  make  a  choice  between  two  piles,  one 
of  straw,  the  other  of  wood.  It  is  hardly  neces- 
sary to  add  that  while  the  size  of  the  pile  of 
straw  was  great  that  of  the  wood  was  hardly  one- 
tenth  of  the  volume. 

The  first  child,  when  told  to  make  his  choice, 
took  the  mass  of  straw,  which  he  set  on  fire 
easily  enough,  warming  himself  first  from  a 
respectful  distance  and  then  at  close  range,  in 
proportion  as  the  heat  of  the  fire  grew  less. 


In  so  doing  he  made  great  sport  of  his  com- 
panion, who  struggled  meanwhile  to  set  alight 
the  pile  of  wood.    But  what  was  the  outcome  ? 

The  huge  mass  of  straw  was  soon  burned  out, 
while  the  wood,  once  lit,  furnished  a  tranquil 
and  steady  flame,  which  the  first  child  watched 
with  envy  while  seated  by  the  mass  of  cinders 
that  alone  remained  of  the  vanished  pile  that 
he  had  chosen. 

The  man  of  real  poise  is  like  the  child  who, 
disclaiming  the  transitory  blaze  of  the  straw, 
prefers  to  work  patiently  at  building  a  fire  whose 
moderate  heat  will  afford  him  a  durable  and 
useful  warmth. 

Let  us  then  beware  of  sudden  unreasoning 
enthusiasms.  After  the  ephemeral  flame  of 
their  first  ardor  has  burned  itself  out  we  shall 
but  find  ourselves  seated  by  the  mass  of  ashes 
formed  of  our  mistakes  and  our  dead  energies. 

The  rock  on  which  so  many  abortive  attempts 
are  wrecked  in  the  effort  to  achieve  poise  is 
a  type  of  sentimentality  peculiar  to  certain 
natures. 

This  state  of  mind  is  characterized  by  a 
craving  for  expansion,  which  is  all  the  more 
irritating  since  the  timidity  of  the  person  con- 
cerned prevents  it  from  being  satisfied. 


I 


4£       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

In  place  of  relying  upon  themselves,  feeling 
their  disabilities  and  the  lack  of  poise  which 
prevents  them  from  proper  expression,  such 
people  try  to  make  themselves  understood  by 
those  who  do  not  appreciate  their  feelings,  with- 
out stopping  to  think  that  they  have  done 
nothing  to  make  clear  what  they  really  need. 

Such  a  chaotic  state  of  mind,  based  on  errors 
of  judgment,  is  a  very  serious  obstacle  to  the 
acquisition  of  poise. 

This  anxiety  to  communicate  their  feelings, 
always  rendered  ineffective  by  the  difficulty  of 
making  the  effort  involved,  gives  rise  in  the  long 
run  to  a  species  of  misanthropy. 

It  is  a  matter  of  common  knowledge  that  mis- 
anthropy urges  those  who  suffer  from  it  to  fall 
back  upon  themselves,  and  from  this  state  to  that 
of  active  hostility  toward  others  the  road  is 
short,  and  timid  people  are  rarely  able  to  pull 
up  before  they  have  traversed  it. 

There  comes  to  them  from  this  intellectual 
solitude  an  unhappiness  so  profound  that  they 
are  glad  to  be  able  to  attribute  to  the  mental 
inferiority  of  others  the  condition  of  moral 
isolation  in  which  they  live. 

To  insist  that  they  are  misunderstood,  and  to 
pride  themselves  upon  the  fact,  is  the  inevitable 


THE  ENEMIES  OF  POISE 


43 


fate  of  those  who  never  can  summon  up  courage 
to  undertake  a  battle  against  themselves. 

It  seems  to  them  a  thousand  times  easier  to 
say :  ' '  These  minds  are  too  gross  to  comprehend 
mine, ' '  than  to  seek  for  a  means  of  establishing 
an  understanding  with  those  whom  they  tax  with 
ignorance  and  insensibility. 

They  might,  perhaps,  be  convinced  of  the 
utility  to  them  of  divulging  their  feelings,  could 
they  be  forced  into  a  position  where  they  had  to 
defend  their  ideas  or  were  compelled  to  put  up 
a  fight  on  behalf  of  their  convictions. 

In  the  ranks  of  the  enemies  of  poise  sullen- 
ness  most  certainly  finds  a  place. 

It  is  the  fault  of  the  feeble-spirited  who  have 
not  the  energy  to  affirm  their  sentiments  or  to 
make  a  plain  statement  of  their  convictions  that 
they  become  incensed  with  those  who  oppose 
them. 

In  their  case  a  good  deal  of  false  pride  is 
present.  They  know  themselves  to  be  beaten 
and  to  be  incapable  of  fighting,  yet  they  are  too 
vain  to  accept  defeat.  They  refuse  the  sym- 
pathy that  wounds  them,  and  suffer  the  more 
from  their  inability  to  yield  themselves  to  that 
good-will  which  would  aid  and  comfort  them. 

From  this  mental  conflict  is  bom  an  irrita- 


44       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 


tion  that  manifests  itself  in  the  form  of  obsti- 
nate sullenness. 

In  other  cases  the  same  state  of  mind  may 
produce  radically  different  results. 

Always  obsessed  by  the  fear  of  appearing 
ridiculous  and  by  the  no  less  vivid  dread  of 
seeming  to  be  an  object  of  sympathy,  such  people 
are  often  driven  through  lack  of  poise  into 
extreme  boastfulness. 

No  man  who  has  poise  will  ever  fall  a  victim 
to  this  misfortune. 

He  knows  exactly  what  his  capabilities  are 
and  he  has  no  need  to  exaggerate  his  own  abili- 
ties to  impress  his  friends. 

Poise  calls  for  action,  when  this  becomes 
necessary ;  but  the  man  of  resolve,  being  always 
prepared  to  do  what  is  needful,  considers  mere 
boasting  and  bravado  as  something  quite  un- 
worthy of  him. 

There  are,  however,  certain  extenuating  cir- 
cumstances in  the  cases  of  those  timid  people 
who  take  refuge  in  boasting.  They  are  almost 
invariably  the  dupes  of  their  own  fancies,  and 
for  the  moment  really  believe  themselves  to  be 
capable  of  endeavors  beset  by  difficulties,  of  the 
surmounting  of  which  they  understand  nothing. 

Nothing  looks  easier  to  duplicate  than  cer- 


THE  ENEMIES  OF  POISE  45 

tain  movements  which  are  performed  with  ap- 
parent ease  by  experts. 

kh!?if  tf  "'  ^^  °°*  ^'"'^  profoundly  aston- 
ished at  Uie  enormous  difficulty  experienced  in 
aceomphshmg  some  simple  act  of  manual  toil 
that  we  see  performed  without  the  least  effort 
by  a  workman  trained  to  this  particular  task? 

What  looks  easier,  for  instance,  than  to  plane 
a  piece  of  wood  or  to  dig  up  the  ground? 

Is  It  possible  that  the  laborer,  wheeling  a 
barrow  really  has  to  be  possest  of  skill  or 
Strength  ? 

It  hardly  seems  so.  And  yet  the  man  who 
takes  a  plane  in  his  hands  for  the  first  time  will 
be  astounded  at  the  difficulty  he  experiences  in 
approximating  to  the  regularity  and  lightness 
of  stroke  that  comes  naturally  to  the  carpenter 

The  man  who  essays  to  dig  a  piece  of  ground 
or  to  wheel  a  barrow,  will  find  himself  making 

ail  this  at  the  expense  of  a  hundred  times  the 
ener^  put  forth  by  the  workman  who  is  accus- 
tomed  to  these  particular  forms  of  labor 

The  person  of  timidity  who  boasts  of  his  re- 
markable exploits  is  actuated,  as  a  general  rule, 
by  sheer  lack  of  experience. 

His  peculiar  fault  keeps'  him  always  in  the 


46       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 


background  and  prevents  him  from  accomplish- 
ing any  public  action,  and  for  this  reason  those 
efforts  appear  easy  to  him  that  he  has  never 
thought  of  attempting. 

Further  than  this,  aided  by  his  false  pride, 
he  considers  that  his  merits  are  easily  greater 
than  those  of  the  people  who  are  not  able  to 
understand  him,  and  he  is  acting  in  perfect 
good  faith  when  he  professes  to  be  able  to  ac- 
complish what  they  can  not. 

Is  it  necessary  to  add  that  the  ironical  re- 
ception given  to  such  exhibitions  of  boastful- 
ness  rouse  in  him  a  feeling  of  irritation  which 
is  all  the  greater  for  the  fact  that  he  does  not 
openly  show  it? 

The  man  of  resolve  will  never  experience 
these  unpleasant  emotions. 

He  knows  exactly  what  he  wants  and  what  he 
can  do.  So  we  see  him  marching  ahead  steadily, 
his  eyes  fixt  upon  the  goal  he  has  worked  out 
for  himself,  paying  no  heed  whatever  to  mis- 
leading suggestions,  which  cripple  his  breadth 
of  soul  and  would  in  the  end  deprive  him  of 
that  essential  energy  which  is  vital  to  him  if 
he  would  preserve  his  even  poise,  the  founda- 
tion of  mental  balance  and  the  source  of  every 
real  success  in  life. 


CHAPTER  III 

WAR    ON    TIMIDITY 

One  can  not  be  too  insistent  in  asserting  how 
harmful  the  lack  of  poise  can  be,  and  when  on"I 
tills  weakness  has  reached  the  stage  of  timidity 
It  may  produce  the  most  tragic  consequences  not 
only  so  far  as  the  daily  routine  of  our  lives  is 
concerned,  but  also  with  reference  to  our  moral 
and  physical  equilibrium. 

So  when  the  nervous  system  is  constantly  set 
on  edge  by  the  emotions  to  which  this  fault 
gives  rise,  it  necessarily  follows  that  all  the 
faculties  suffer  in  their  turn. 

This  is  particularly  true*  of  those  who  are 
constantly  haunted  by  the  fear  of  finding  them- 
selves in  a  condition  of  mental  unpreparedness, 
to  the  extent  that  they  prefer  to  remain  in 
solitude  and  silence  rather  than  to  mingle  in 
a  world  which  really  has  too  many  other  things 
to  think  of  to  concern  itself  with  their  acts  or 
tneir  opinions. 

This  morbid  dread  of  becoming  the  subject 
of  ridicule  ends  by  creating  a  pecuUar  condition 


1.4 


47 


48       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

of  mind  of  which,  as  we  have  already  pointed 
out,  egoism  is  the  pivot. 

In  this  way  it  is  a  common  occurrence  to  see 
people  of  timidity  paying  exaggerated  atten- 
tion to  the  slightest  changes  in  the  condition  of 
their  health. 

Such  people  by  shutting  themselves  out  from 
the  world  have  reduced  it  to  the  circumference 
of  their  own  personalities  and  everything  which 
touches  them  necessarily  assumes  gigantic  im- 
portance in  their  eyes. 

The  slightest  opposition  becomes  for  them  a 
catastrophe.  The  smallest  unpleasantness  pre- 
sents itself  to  them  in  the  light  of  a  tragic  mis- 
fortune. 

For  this  reason  the  lives  of  the  timid  become 
a  succession  of  boredoms  and  of  pains. 

Even  in  those  cases  where  no  really  unfor- 
tunate incident  occurs,  these  people  so  exag- 
gerate what  actually  does  happen  to  them  that 
the  least  little  emotion  causes  them  the  most 
profound  unhappiness. 

On  those  days  when  nothing  in  particular 
happens  they  spend  their  time  anticipating  all 
sorts  of  disasters,  including  those  which  are  not 
the  least  likely  to  happen.  To  them  the  tiniest 
cloud  is  an  omen  of  a  devastating  storm. 


WAR  ON  TIMIDITY 


49 


When  the  sun  is  shining  their  timidity  pre- 
vents them  from  exposing  themselves  to  the 
heat  of  its  rays. 

The  timid  man,  in  his  moral  isolation,  is  like 
the  hare,  who,  crouched  in  its  form,  sleeps  with 
one  eye  open  in  constant  terror  of  the  passer-by 
or  of  the  hunter. 

It  may  be  well  to  add  that  worry  about  one- 
self is  invariably  an  accompaniment  of  all  these 
troubles.  People  without  poise  are,  with  very 
few  exceptions,  egotists  who  exaggerate  their 
own  importance. 

Moreover,  they  suffer  keenly  from  the  ob- 
scurity into  which  their  defects  have  forced 
them  as  well  as  from  dread  of  the  alternatives 
presented  to  them,  the  making  of  an  effort  to 
escape  this  fate,  an  idea  that  fills  them  with 
horror,  or  the  continuing  to  live  in  the  unhappy 
condition  that  has  spoiled  existence  for  them 
through  their  own  faults. 

It  is  hardly  then  a  matter  for  surprize  that 
so  many  people  who  are  thus  mentally  out  of 
balance  end  by  becoming  neurotics  or  become  a 
prey  to  those  cerebral  disorders  that  are,  un- 
fortunately, all  too  frequent. 

This  condition  of  solitude,  at  once  deplored 
and  self-imposed,  has  the  still  more  serious  dis- 


50 


POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 


advantage  of  leaving  the  mind,  for  lack  of 
proper  control,  to  the  domination  of  the  most 
false  and  exaggerated  ideas. 

It  is  a  well-known  fact  that  any  force  of  ex- 
aggeration, however  obvious,  becomes  less 
noticeable  to  us  in  proportion  as  it  becomes  more 
familiar. 

It  exists,  in  the  last  analysis,  only  by  its 
comparative  relation  to  other  things. 

It  is  certain  that  a  child  ten  years  old  would 
seem  very  large  if  he  were  five  feet  high,  where- 
as a  man  of  that  stature  is  considered  a  dwarf. 

Among  Oriental  races  a  woman  is  generally 
classed  as  a  blonde  whose  hair  is  not  absolutely 
black. 

Things  only  take  their  real  appearance  from 
a  comparison  with  others  of  the  same  kind. 

For  all  his  science,  an  ethnologist,  placed  in 
front  of  a  man  of  an  unkno\^Ti  tribe,  would  be 
unable  to  say  whether  this  man's  stature  were 
normal  or  below  the  average  in  relation  to 
others  of  his  race,  since  no  information  would 
be  forthcoming  as  to  this  people's  height  or 
characteristics.  It  is,  therefore,  no  matter  for 
surprize  that  the  timid  man,  shut  in  upon  him- 
self and  having  no  other  horizon  than  the 
limited  field  of  his  own  observations,  is  disposed 


WAR  ON  TIMIDITY 


51 


to  picture  them  in  colors  whose  truth  he  can 
not  verify,  since  the  terms  of  comparison,  vital 
to  the  accomplishment  of  his  end,  are  not  avail- 
able to  him. 

It  is,  therefore,  impossible  for  such  a  man  not 
to  become  accustomed  to  the  idea  as  it  presents 
itself  to  him,  to  such  an  extent  that  he  is  quite 
unconscious  of  its  successive  changes  in  char- 
acter. 

Do  we  notice  the  growth  of  a  child  who  is 
constantly  with  us  until  he  reaches  man's 
estate  ? 

Can  we  measure  the  development  of  a  blossom 
into  the  perfect  flower? 

Assuredly  not,  if  we  have  lived  daily  in  the 
company  of  the  child  and  have  glanced  several 
times  an  hour  at  the  blossom. 

Both  the  one  and  the  other  will  reach 
maturity  without  being  sensibly  conscious  of 
the  fact  that  they  are  changing. 

But  if  we  go  away  from  the  child  for  a  few 
months,  if,  in  the  interval,  we  see  other  children, 
we  can  form  an  estimate  of  his  growth  and  can 
compare  him  mentally  with  the  other  children 
we  have  met. 

The  same  is  true  of  the  flower.  If  other 
duties  call  us  away  for  the  moment  from  con- 


52       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

templating  it,  we  will  notice  the  progress  of  its 
unfolding  and  we  will  also  be  able  to  tell 
whether,  in  relation  to  that  of  other  plants,  it  is 
quick,  slow,  or  merely  normal. 

The  man  who  is  timid,  be  he  never  so  observ-, 
ant,  will  derive  no  benefit   from  these   obser- 
vations, for  he  is  quite  unable  to  generalize  and 
refers  them  all  to  a  point  of  view  which  cramps 
them  hopelessly  and  gives  them  a  color  that  is. 
entirely  false. 

So,  from  the  habit  of  thinking  without  any 
opposition,  little  by  little  he  allows  his  ideas  to 
become  changed  and  distorted  without  any  one's 
being  able  to  advise  him  of  the  misconceptions 
which  he  keeps  closely  to  himself. 

It  is  for  this  reason  that  all  timid  people  have 
a  marked  tendency  to  distort  facts  and  to 
acquire  false  ideas. 

It  is  often  with  perfect  good  faith  that  they 
affirm  a  thing  which  they  believe  sincerely,  not 
having  had  the  opportunity  to  control  the  suc- 
cessive changes  which  have  transformed  it  abso- 
lutely from  what  it  was  at  the  outset. 

It  is  a  lucky  day  for  timid  people  of  this 
class  when  fate  prevents  them  from  entering 
into  competition  with  those  who  are  possest  of 
poise. 


WAR  ON  TIMIDITY 


£S 


Were  these  latter  a  hundred  times  weaker 
than  they  are  they  would  still  end  by  triumph- 
ing over  their  feeble  antagonists. 

It  is  above  all  in  the  affairs  of  ordinary  every- 
day life  that  poise  renders  the  most  valuable 
service. 

If  it  becomes  a  question  of  presenting  or  dis- 
cussing a  matter  of  business,  the  timid  man, 
embarrassed  by  his  own  personality,  begins  to 
stammer,  becomes  confused,  and  can  not  recall 
a  single  argument.  He  finally  abandons  all 
the  gain  that  he  dreamed  of  making  in  order  to 
put  an  end  to  the  torments  from  which  he 
suffers. 

He  is  to  be  considered  lucky  if  under  the 
domination  of  the  troubles  in  which  he  finds 
himself,  he  does  not  lose  all  faculty  of  speech. 

This  failing,  so  common  among  the  timid,  is 
a  further  cause  of  confusion  to  the  victim. 

At  the  bare  idea  that  he  may  become  the 
prey  of  such  a  calamity  he  unconsciously  closes 
his  lips  and  lowers  the  tones  of  his  voice. 

The  man  of  poise,  on  the  other  hand,  feels 
himself  the  more  impelled  to  redouble  his  efforts 
in  proportion  to  the  need  his  cause  has  for 
being  well  defended. 

He  knows  how  to  arrange  his  arguments,  and 


54       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

to  foresee  those  of  his  adversary,  and,  if  he 
finds  himself  face  to  face  with  a  statement  which 
he  can  not  refute,  he  will  seek  some  means  of 
softening  the  defeat  or  of  changing  the  ground 
of  the  debate  in  such  a  way  as  to  avoid  confusion 
to  himself. 

In  any  event,  such  an  occurrence  will  have 
no  profound  effect  upon  him.  Vanquished  on 
one  point,  he  will  find  the  presence  of  mind  to 
at  once  change  the  character  of  the  discussion  to 
questions  which  are  at  once  familiar  and  favor- 
able to  him. 

He  who  goes  forth  into  life  armed  with  poise 
has  also  the  marked  advantage  over  the  timid 
that  comes  from  superior  health. 

This  phrase  should  not  be  the  occasion  for  a 
smile.  Timidity  is  a  chronic  cause  of  poor 
health  in  those  who  suffer  from  it. 

Pushed  to  extremes,  it  is  the  source  of  a 
thousand  nervous  defects. 

We  have  already  touched  upon  stammering. 

Unreasonable  blushing  is  another  misfortune 
of  the  timid.  In  drawing  the  attention  of  one*s 
opponents  it  betrays  at  once  one's  ideas  and 
one's  fears. 

Fear  of  this  uncomfortable  blushing  inhibits 
many  people  from  making  the  most  of  them- 


WAR  ON  TIMIDITY 


56 


selves  or  from  properly  protecting  their  own 
interests. 

The  shame  they  feel  on  account  of  this  in- 
feriority leads  them,  as  we  have  seen,  to  seek 
isolation  in  which  hypochondria  slowly  grows 
upon  them,  sure  forerunner  of  that  terrible 
neurasthenia  of  which  the  effects  are  so  diverse 
and  so  disconcerting. 

The  man  who  was  at  the  outset  no  more  than 
timid,  easily  becomes  transformed  first  into  a 
misanthrope,  then  into  a  monomaniac  tortured 
by  a  thousand  physical  inhibitions,  such  as  the 
inability  to  hold  a  pen,  to  walk  unaccompanied 
across  an  open  space,  to  ride  in  a  public  con- 
veyance, etc.,  etc. 

It  must  not  be  forgotten  that  these  crises  of 
embarrassments  always  produce  extreme  emo- 
tion accompanied  by  palpitations  whose  fre- 
quent recurrence  may  lead  to  actual  heart 
trouble. 

All  these  disadvantages  increase  the  sullen- 
ness  of  the  timid,  who  are  overcome  by  the 
sense  of  their  own  physical  weakness,  which 
they  know  has  its  origin  in  a  condition  of  mind 
that  they  lack  the  power  either  to  change  or 
to  abolish. 

All  these  causes  of  physical  inferiority  are 


56       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

unknown  to  the  man  who  appreciates  the  value 
of  poise  and  puts  it  into  practise. 

Such  a  man  has  no  fear  of  embarrassment  in 
speaking.  He  is  a  stranger  to  the  misery  of 
aimless  blushing.  If  he  does  not  always  emerge 
victorious  from  the  oratorical  combats  in  which 
he  engages  he  at  least  has  the  satisfaction  of 
acknowledging  to  himself  that  he  has  not  been 
beaten  easily  or  without  a  struggle.  In  short, 
misanthropy,  neurasthenia,  and  all  their  at- 
tendant ills,  are  for  him  unknown  ailments. 

One  can  not  be  too  watchful  against  the  at- 
tacks of  timidity,  which,  like  a  contaminated 
spring,  poisons  the  entire  existence  of  those  who 
are  unable  to  dam  up  its  flow. 

Among  the  martyrdoms  which  are  caused  by 
it  must  be  counted  indecision,  which  is  one  of 
its  most  frequent  and  most  unhappy  results. 
The  timid  man  can  not  stop  at  any  point. 
He  vacillates  unceasingly  and  takes  turn  by 
turn  the  most  opposing  viewpoints. 

It  is  only  fair  to  add  that  he  rejects  them 
all  almost  as  soon  as  he  has  formed  them. 

His  state  of  mind  being  always  one  of  dis- 
trust of  his  own  powers,  it  is  impossible  for  him 
not  to  be  afraid  that  he  has  made  a  mistake,  if 
he  is  left  to  do  his  own  thinking. 


WAR  ON  TIMIDITY 


67 


We  have  seen  how  his  craving  for  sympathy, 
never  satisfied,  since  he  does  not  make  it  known, 
drives  him  ever  into  impotent  rage,  which 
throws  him  back  upon  himself  in  scarcely  con- 
cealed irritation,  that  alienates  him  from  all 
sympathy  and  precludes  all  confidences. 

It  is  rarely,  therefore,  that  the  timid  person 
does  not  find  himself  isolated  when  facing  the 
decisions  of  greater  or  less  gravity  that  daily 
life  makes  necessary. 

In  terror  of  making  a  mistake  that  may  lead 
to  some  change  of  course  or  give  rise  to  the 
necessity  of  taking  some  definite  action,  he  hesi- 
tates everlastingly. 

If,  driven  into  a  comer  by  circumstances,  he 
ends  by  making  some  decision,  we  may  be  sure 
that  he  will  at  once  regret  it  and  that,  if  the  time 
still  remains  to  him,  he  will  modify  it  in  some 
way,  only  to  revert  to  it  again  a  moment  later. 

His  will  is  like  a  ball  continually  thrown  to 
and  fro  by  children.  No  sooner  is  it  tossed  in 
one  direction  than  it  is  suddenly  sent  flying  in 
another,  to  return  finally  to  its  starting-place 
at  the  moment  when  the  players'  weariness 
causes  it  to  fall  to  the  ground. 

This  particular  state  of  mind  is  primarily  due 
to  two  causes: 


58       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

The  desire  for  perfection  that  haunts  all 
timid  people. 

The  fear  of  making  a  mistake  that  arises 
from  the  habit  of  continually  mistrusting  one*s 
own  judgment. 

There  are  many  other  causes,  the  analysis  of 
which  is  far  beyond  the  scope  of  this  work,  but 
every  one  of  these  can  be  referred  to  the  two 
main  issues  we  have  defined.  The  desire  for 
perfection  is  at  once  the  result  and  the  cause  of 
most  timidity. 

While  the  man  of  resolve,  relying  upon  his 
experience,  is  able  to  perform  his  part  in  those 
normal  exigencies  that  he  is  able  to  conceive  of, 
the  timid  man,  shut  off  by  his  defects  from  all 
practical  knowledge  of  life,  comes  to  grief  by 
discovering  something  amiss  with  every  course 
that  he  considers. 

A  familiar  proverb  tells  us  that  everything 
has  its  good  and  its  bad  side. 

The  timid  see  only  the  latter  when  making 
the  decisions  that  fate  imposes  upon  them. 

They  fall  into  despair  at  their  inability  to 
see  the  other  side  of  things  and  their  feeble  will 
drives  against  solid  obstacles  like  a  car  colliding 
with  a  block  of  granite. 

The  man  of  resolution,  instead  of  yielding  to 


WAR  ON  TIMIDITY 


59 


I 


despair,  seeks  to  surmount  such  a  difficulty  by 
turning  his  car  in  another  direction ;  but,  if  the 
new  road  shows  him  nothing  but  dangerous  pit- 
falls, he  will  choose  to  go  around  the  block  and 
continue  his  journey,  remembering  it  as  a  land- 
mark for  his  return. 

For  this  reason  we  shall  find  him  well  on 
his  way  toward  his  journey's  end  while  the 
victim  of  timidity  continues  to  exhaust  himself 
by  vain  efforts,  thankful  enough  if  he  is  not 
permanently  mired  in  some  of  the  bogs  into 
which  he  has  imprudently  ventured.  This  is  a 
state  of  affairs  of  much  more  frequent  occur- 
rence than  one  might  suppose.  Timidity,  as 
we  have  seen,  often  unites  the  boldest  concep- 
tions with  complete  inexperience,  which  does 
not  permit  of  accurate  judgment  as  to  impossi- 
bilities. 

This  lack  of  knowledge  of  life  is  also  the 
cause  of  a  continual  fear  of  making  mistakes. 

The  man  of  resolution  never  suffers  from 
this  complaint. 

Having  taught  himself  the  value  of  a  ripened 
judgment,  he  is  quick  to  recognize  the  advantage 
to  be  derived  from  any  project.  He  weighs 
alternatives  carefully  and  only  makes  his  de- 
cisions on  well-thought-out  grounds,  after  suffi- 


60       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 


cient  reasoned  reflection  to  make  sure  that  he 
will  have  no  cause  for  future  regret. 

We  have  already  remarked  that  such  forms 
of  irresolution  constituted  a  martyrdom.  The 
word  is  by  no  means  too  strong.  They  are  never- 
ending  occasions  for  physical  and  moral  torture. 

They  are  to  be  met  with  in  the  most  trivial 
details  of  every-day  life. 

The  mere  crossing  of  a  street  becomes,  for  the 
nervous  man,  an  ever-recurring  source  of  tor- 
ment. 

He  is  afraid  to  go  forward  at  the  proper 
moment,  takes  one  step  ahead  and  another  back, 
looks  despairingly  at  the  line  of  vehicles  that 
bars  his  way,  and,  when  a  momentary  opening 
in  this  confronts  him,  takes  so  long  to  make  up 
his  mind  that  the  opportunity  of  crossing  is 
past  before  he  has  seized  it. 

Or  again  he  may  suddenly  rush  forward, 
without  any  regard  for  the  danger  to  which  he 
is  exposed,  hesitating  suddenly  when  in  the 
way  of  the  vehicles  that  threaten  him,  and  quite 
incapable  of  slipping  past  them,  or  of  any 
quick  or  dexterous  movement  by  which  he  may 
avoid  them. 

This  little  picture,  despite  its  conmionplace 
nature,  is  nevertheless  a  symbol. 


WAR  ON  TIMIDITY  61 

In  the  crossings  of  life,  as  weU  as  those  of  the 
streets,  the  man  who  is  timid  is  at  an  immense 
disadvantage  when  compared  with  the  man  of 
poise. 

The  latter  does  not  worry  his  head  about  the 
traffic  that  blocks  his  progress. 

Aided  by  his  will-power  and  by  confidence  in 
his  judgment,  he  stands  firmly  awaiting  the 
moment  that  affords  him  an  opening.  Then, 
with  muscles  tense  and  wits  collected,  he  started 
and  whether  he  darts  ahead  here,  or  glides 
adroitly  there,  he  threads  his  way  through  the 
traffic  and  reaches  his  goal  without  having 
suffered  from  accident. 

The  troubles  upon  which  we  have  been  dwell- 
ing are  never  his.  His  soul,  dominated  by  a 
well-ordered  will,  by  reason,  and  all  the  other 
good  qualities  we  enumerated  in  the  first 
chapter,  is  proof  against  all  attacks  of  weakness. 

In  the  event  of  his  not  possessing  all  these 
virtues,  he  has  the  wit  to  keep  the  thought  of 
them  always  before  him  and  to  work  hard  to 
acquire  them,  so  that  he  may  become  what,  in 
modern  parlance,  we  call  '^a  force,''  that  is  to 
say  one  whose  soul  is  virile  enough  to  influence 
not  only  his  mind,  but  even  to  liberate  his  body 
from  the  defects  created  in  it  by  distrust  of  self. 


62       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

But,  it  will  be  claimed,  there  are  people  who 
are  born  timid  and  who  are  quite  unable  to 
achieve  the  mastery  of  themselves. 

Every  human  being  can  win  the  victory  over 
himself.  This  we  will  prove  conclusively  in  the 
pages  that  are  to  follow,  dedicated  to  those  who 
are  desirous  of  arming  themselves,  in  the  great 
game  of  life,  with  that  master  card  which  is 
named  poise. 


PART  n 
HOW  TO  ACQUIRE  POISE 


14^ 


CHAPTER   I 

MODESTY    AND    EFFRONTERY 
CONTRASTED 

** Never  force  your  talents"  a  well-known 
writer  has  said.  One  always  feels  like  crying 
this  to  those  who,  thinking  to  reach  the  goal  of 
poise,  fall  into  excess  and  develop  effrontery  and 
exaggeratedness. 

Poise  can  not  exist  without  coolness.  We 
have  seen  that  this  quality  is  rarely  met  with 
in  enthusiasts. 

It  is  never  found  in  those  who  have  effrontery. 

Poise  does  not  consist  in  the  species  of  osten- 
tatious carelessness  which  essays  to  travel 
through  life  as  a  child  might  wander  among 
hives  of  bees  without  taking  any  precautions 
against  being  stung.  ....,, ^ 

Neither  is  it  that  false  courage  that  drives 
one  headlong  into  a  conflict  without  any  thought 
as  to  the  blows  likely  to  fall  upon  the  foolhardy 
person  who  has  ventured  into  it. 

The  principle  upon  which  we  must  start  is 

65 


POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

this:  life  is  a  battle  in  which  strategy  always 
has  the  advantage  over  blind  courage. 

Unfortunate  is  he  who,  by  his  boasting  or  his 
lack  of  generalship,  decides  upon  an  attack  for 
which  he  is  not  really  prepared.  However 
brave  he  may  be  he  will  infallibly  find  himself  { 
vanquished  in  a  struggle  in  which  everything 
has  combined  in  advance  to  defeat  him. 

Boasting  is  not  courage.     Still  less  is  it  poise. 

Poise  is  a  power  derived  from  the  mastery  of 
self.  It  inhibits  all  outward  manifestations 
that  are  likely  to  result  in  giving  information 
to  strangers  with  regard  to  our  real  feelings. 

Braggarts  can  not  avoid  this  stumbling-block. 
They  know  nothing  of  the  delights  of  contem- 
plation, from  which  arise  ripe  resolutions  that 
will  be  stedfastly  followed. 

With  the  noise  of  their  boastings,  with  the 
shouting  of  their  own  braggart  ineptitudes,  they 
hypnotize  themselves  so  thoroughly  that  they 
are  quite  unable  to  hear  the  counsel  that  sane 
wisdom  whispers  in  their  ears. 

They  are  like  the  man  in  the  eastern  fable 
who  was  quite  unable  to  follow  a  beaten  path 
and  was  constantly  wandering  across  the  fields 
of  his  neighbors. 

These  detours  were  in  general  much  longer 


MODESTY  AND  EFFRONTERY      67 


than  the  direct  road  would  have  been,  and  he 
received  a  constant  stream  of  abuse,  to  say  noth- 
ing of  blows,  from  the  people  whose  crops  he 
was  ruining. 

But  he  seemed  quite  insensible  to  assaults 
and  insisted  upon  following,  across  lots,  a  road 
which  led  nowhere. 

It  would  be  difficult  to  paint  a  more  faithful 
portrait.  Like  the  peasant  in  the  story,  the 
man  of  effrontery  is  always  wandering  far  from 
the  common  road,  the  tranquil  peace  of  which 
he  despises. 

He  delights  in  crossing  land  that  he  knows 
to  be  forbidden  to  him,  seeks  to  force  open  gates 
that  are  closed  at  his  approach,  and,  if  he  can 
not  overcome  the  opposition  of  the  porter, 
watches  for  the  moment  when  an  open  window 
will  permit  him  entrance  into  a  house  where  he 
will  be  coldly,  if  not  angrily,  received. 

What  is  the  result  of  this? 

Nothing  favorable  to  his  plans,  one  may  be 
sure.  People  point  him  out.  They  fly  from 
him,  and  were  he  the  bearer  of  the  most  ad- 
vantageous proposition,  refuse  to  put  any  faith 
in  his  assertions  as  soon  as  they  get  to  know  him 
in  the  least. 

Effrontery  may  sometimes  impose  upon  the 


68       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

innocent.  But  it  is  only  a  momentary  decep- 
tion, quickly  dissipated  the  moment  that  time 
is  given  to  estimate  the  emptiness  of  its  claims. 

There  is  another  variety  of  effrontery  that 
is  comparable  to  the  form  of  courage  exhibited 
by  the  timorous  who  sing  in  a  loud  voice  in 
order  to  lessen  their  terror  and  imagine  that  by 
so  doing  they  give  the  illusion  of  bravery. 

People  of  this  sort  talk  very  loudly,  often 
contradicting  themselves,  and  pass  judgment 
upon  everything,  dismissing  the  most  difficult 
questions  with  only  a  passing  thought,  but  re- 
main silent  and  are  put  completely  out  of 
countenance  as  soon  as  one  insists  upon  their 
listening  to  reason,  or  when— in  familiar  lan- 
guage—they ''meet  their  match.'' 

The  man  of  effrontery  is  a  passionate  devotee 
of  bluff,  and  not  only  of  that  variety  of  which 
Jonathan  Dick  has  said: 

*'It  is  a  security  discounted  in  advance." 

A  little  further  on  he  adds: 

**  Bluffers  of  the  right  sort  are  only  so  when 
the  occasion  demands  it,  in  order  to  give  the 
impression  that  the  wished-for  result  has  al- 
ready been  achieved. 

**As  soon  as  their  credit  is  assured  and  ap- 
pearances have  become  realities  that  allow  them 


^ 


MODESTY  AND  EFFRONTERY     69 

to  establish  themselves  in  positions  of  security 
they  at  once  cease  the  effort  to  deceive.'' 

Our  author  concludes : 

**  Bluff,  to  be  successful,  must  never  be 
founded  upon  puerility  or  brag." 

Now  these  two  qualities  are  always  to  be  met 
with  in  the  doings  of  the  man  of  effrontery,  who 
only  achieves  by  accident  the  goal  he  aims  at, 
and  then  only  in  the  most  insecure  way. 

Drawbacks  differing  as  to  their  causes,  but 
equally  unlucky  as  to  their  results,  are  bom 
of  the  opposite  fault — modesty. 

It  is  high  time  to  destroy  the  leniency  shown 
toward  this  defect  that  old-fashioned  educators 
once  decorated  with  the  title  of  virtue. 

Time  has  forged  ahead,  taking  with  it  in  its 
rapid  course  all  forms  of  progress,  which,  in  its 
turn,  has  made  giant  strides. 

Ideas  have  changed  materially.  Modem  life 
has  to  face  emergencies  formerly  undreamed  of, 
and  those  who  still  believe  in  the  virtue  of 
modesty  are  their  own  enemies,  as  well  as  those 
of  the  people  whom  they  advise  to  cultivate  it. 

The  case  of  this  man  is  similar  to  that  of  many 
others,  whose  meaning  has  been  undergoing  a 
gradual  change  due  to  the  erroneous  interpre- 
tation that  has  deliberately  been  placed  upon  it. 


70       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

Modesty  is  very  frequently  nothing  more 
than  an  evidence  of  incompetence. 

It  has  rise  in  sentiments  that  the  man  who 
would  be  up  to  date  must  avoid  at  all  hazards- 
distrust  of  self  and  hatred  of  exertion. 

One  rarely  finds  it  in  the  man  who  is  active 
and  who  knows  his  own  worth.     To  revenge  it- 
self, it  flourishes  among  the  lazy,  who  try  to  save 
their  pride  and  to  conceal  their  secret  irritation 
at  the  successes  of  others  by  assuming  an  humble 
attitude  and  exclaiming: 
*'0h!  I  didn't  care  to  do  it!" 
Or  still  more  frequently: 
*'No,  I  haven't  entered  the  lists.    I  am  abso- 
lutely without  ambition!" 

Under  similar  circumstances  people  who  are 
unknown  cry  out,  and  with  reason : 
'*0h!  I  have  a  horror  of  publicity!" 
This  is  simply  a  roundabout  way  of  inform- 
ing us  that  were  it  not  for  their  retiring  mod- 
esty, the  hundred  mouths  of  rumor  would  be 
shouting  their  praise. 

Modesty  is  very  rarely  what  it  appears  to  be. 
As  soon  as  it  exhibits  the  form  of  a  wise  re- 
serve it  must  be  called  by  another  name :  pru- 
dence and  self-justification. 

The  attitude  of  trying  to  keep  one's  actions 


1 


I 


(I 


MODESTY  AND  EFFRONTERY      71 

from  becoming  known  is  not  a  laudable  one, 
and  can  only  be  adopted  as  the  result  of  a  phil- 
osophy of  inaction. 

What  treasures  of  knowledge  would  have  re- 
mained unknown  to  us  if  all  the  scientists  and 
all  the  men  of  genius  had  made  a  practise  of 
modesty ! 

If  our  forefathers  had  been  modest,  when  it 
was  the  fashion  to  be  proud  of  this  quality,  our 
museums  would  be  empty  and  only  a  few  of 
the  initiated  would  know  that  men  of  excep- 
tional merit,  which  they  had  sedulously  con- 
cealed, had  written  manuscripts  which  had 
never  been  published.  The  humility  of  the 
writers  in  such  cases  could  be  made  to  pay  too 
severe  a  penalty. 

No!  Men  who  have  merits  are  not  modest! 
This  false  virtue  is  the  appanage  of  none  but 
weak  and  irresolute  hearts. 

We  should  congratulate  ourselves,  while  ad- 
mitting these  facts,  that  our  forefathers  were 
not  so  constituted,  and  that  their  faith  in  them- 
selves, by  giving  them  confidence  in  their  own 
work,  made  it  possible  for  them  to  hand  these 
on  to  their  descendants. 

Of  what  use  to  us  would  it  be  to  know  that  a 
poem  of  finer  quality  and  more  splendid  fire 


i 


72 


POISE;  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 


than  any  we  have  ever  read  had  once  been 
written,  if  the  modesty  of  its  author  had  led 
him  to  keep  it  always  in  his  pocket  and  it  had 
finally  vanished  into  the  limbo  of  ignored  and 
forgotten  things? 

It  is  then  actually  wrong  to  sing  the  praises 
of  modesty,  which  is  no  more  than  distrust  of 
oneself,  egoism,  and  laziness. 

The  man  who  boasts  of  his  modesty  will  feel 
no  shame  at  producing  nothing.  He  hides  his 
ineptitude  behind  this  convenient  veil  whose 
thickness  allows  him  to  hint  of  the  existence  of 
things  which  are  nothing  but  figments  of  his 
imagination. 

We  might  add  that  the  man  who  proclaims 
his  modesty  enters  the  struggle  with  a  decided 
handicap  against  him.  The  moment  he  begins 
to  have  doubts  about  his  own  powers  he  will 
be  sure  to  find  himself  the  prey  of  an  unfor- 
tunate indecision,  and  that  at  the  very  moment 
when  he  is  called  upon  to  perform  some  decisive 
action. 

''One  day,"  says  an  old  writer,  "three  men, 
in  the  course  of  a  climb  up  a  mountain,  found 
themselves  confronted  by  a  crevasse  that  they 
must  cross. 

''One  of  these  was  a  timid  man,  another  a 


MODESTY  AND  EFFRONTERY     73 

boaster,  and  the  third  was  possest  of  a  reasoned 
poise. 

The  boaster  made  a  jump  without  stopping 
to  tLink  and  without  taking  the  trouble  to 
measure  the  gap.     He  plunged  into  it. 

The  modest  man  then  advanced,  looked  down 
into  the  gulf,  then  decided  to  make  use  of  the 
irregularities  in  the  surface  of  the  chasm  to 
reduce  the  width  of  the  jump. 

' '  He  made  several  attempts  to  carry  this  out, 
but  could  hardly  touch  the  edge  before  an  in- 
stinctive movement  of  fear  forced  him  back. 

"He  worked  so  hard  and  so  long  at  this  that 
he  was  quite  tired  out  when  he  at  last  chose 
the  moment  for  the  decisive  attempt.  He 
jumped,  indeed,  but  in  such  a  half-hearted  way 
that  he  merely  touched  the  opposite  face  of  the 
crevasse  and  fell  to  the  bottom  of  the  precipice 
alongside  of  the  boaster. 

"The  third  climber,  who  possest  the  advan- 
tage of  poise,  had  meanwhile  been  losing  no 
time.  He  had  mentally  gaged  the  width  of  the 
crevasse,  had  made  a  number  of  trial  jumps  to 
test  his  ability  to  clear  it,  and  when,  with  a  firm 
resolution  to  succeed,  he  reached  the  edge  from 
which  he  must  leap,  his  soul,  fortified  by  the 
knowledge  of  his  powers  was  fired  with  a  single 


H 


74       POISE;  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

idea,  the  consciousness  of  his  own  agility  and 
strength. 

''By  this  means  he,  alone  of  the  three,  was 
able  to  cross  the  gulf  in  which  his  two  com- 
panions had  perished/' 

Effrontery  and  boastfulness  have  often  an- 
other source.  The  shyness  of  those  who  suffer 
from  timidity,  by  isolating  them  and  denying 
them  the  means  of  expansion,  prevents  them 
from  obtaining  a  real  control  over  their  feel- 
ings, which  undergo  a  process  of  deterioration 
so  slow  that  they  do  not  notice  it. 

There  are  very  few  things  to  which  we  can 
not  easily  become  accustomed,  to  the  extent  of  a 
complete  failure  to  notice  their  peculiarities,  if 
their  strangeness  is  only  unfolded  to  us  gradu- 
ally. 

A  thousand  things  which  shock  us  at  the  first 
blush  take  on  the  guise  of  every-day  matters 
when  once  we  have  acquired  the  habit  of 
familiarity  with  them. 

The  timid  man,  who  will  not  openly  acknowl- 
edge his  feelings,  is  practically  unable  to  take 
cognizance  of  their  gradual  transformation. 

We  may  add  that  he  is  always  prone  to  dream, 
and  peoples  his  world  involuntarily  with  imag- 
inary Utopias,  which  he  begins  by  considering 


MODESTY  AND  EFFRONTERY      75 

as  desirable,  then  as  possible,   and  finally  as 
actually  existing. 

This  is  the  starting-point  of  boastfulness.  It 
partakes  at  once  of  falsity  and  of  sincerity.  The 
timid  man  loves  to  feel  himself  important,  and 
he  merely  pities  the  people  whom  he  considers 
incapable  of  understanding  him.  He  is,  never- 
theless, sincere  in  his  bravado,  as  his  dreams 
entirely  deceive  him  as  to  his  real  self. 

In  his  solitary  meditations  he  deliberately 
shakes  off  his  own  personality,  as  a  butterfly 
abandons  the  shelter  of  its  chrysalis,  and,  follow- 
ing the  example  of  that  gorgeous  insect,  he  flies 
away  on  the  wings  of  his  dreams  in  the  guise  of 
the  being  that  he  imagines  himself  to  have  be- 
come. 

This  creature  resembles  him  not  at  all.  It  is 
brave,  courageous,  eloquent.  It  accomplishes 
the  most  brilliant  feats  of  daring. 

In  this  way,  just  so  soon  as  the  timid  man 
becomes  intermittently  a  braggart,  he  com- 
mences to  boast  of  exploits  quite  impossible  of 
performance.  "We  must  remember,  however, 
that  it  is  not  he  who  speaks,  but  merely  the 
idealized  ego  which  he  invents  because  he  is 
chagrined  at  being  misunderstood. 

Moral  isolation  is  the  parent  of  other  curious 


76       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

phenomena.  It  imparts  the  gift  of  seeing 
things  exactly  as  we  would  wish  them  to  be  by 
clothing  them  little  by  little  with  a  character 
entirely  foreign  to  that  which  they  really 
possess.  "^ 

In  ^^ Timidity:  How  to  Overcome  It  ''  we  are 
told  the  following  little  personal  anecdote  of  the 
Japanese  philosopher  Yoritomo: 

'*It  was  my  misfortune  as  a  child,"  says  this 
ancient  sage,  -to  be  the  victim  of  a  serious  ill- 
ness which  kept  me  confined  to  a  bed  and  unable 
to  move. 

''I  was  not  allowed  to  read  and  my  only  dis 
traction  was  the  study  of  the  objects  in  my 
immediate  neighborhood. 

^  "The  pattern  of  a  screen  made  a  particular 
impression  upon  me  with  its  clusters  of  flowers 
and  Its  bouquets  of  roses. 

I'l  passed  hours  in  the  contemplation  of  it 
''At  first  I  merely  followed  the  outlines  with 
my  eye,  finding  in  them  no  more  than  an  artistic 
reproduction  of  nature.  But,  little  by  little  the 
clusters  of  flowers  were  transformed  into  gar- 
dens, the  rose-trees  took  on  the  imposing  aspect 
of  forests.  In  these  gardens  my  dreams  created 
a  princess,  and  in  the  forest  a  company  of 
warriors. 


MODESTY  AND  EFFRONTERY     77 

**Then  the  romance  began. 

*' Every  new  line  I  observed  became  the  pre- 
text for  creating  a  new  character.  The  princess 
was  very  soon  taken  captive  by  a  giant— whom 
I  saw  perfectly— and  the  warriors  undertook 
the  task  of  rescue. 

''Every  day  a  panorama  moved  before  me 
of  changing  personalities,  who  reenacted  the 
events  of  the  story.  Finally  the  obsession  took 
such  a  strong  hold  of  me  that  I  began  to  talk 
about  it  in  a  manner  that  aroused  the  fears  of 
my  parents. 

''The  screen  was  banished  from  my  room  and 
when,  a  few  days  later,  it  was  brought  back  for 
me  to  see,  I  was  able  to  discover  nothing  more 
in  it  than  the  designs  with  which  it  was 
adorned." 

This  example,  taken  directly  from  life,  shows 
us  better  than  the  most  extended  arguments 
the  dangers  of  moral  isolation. 

By  this  we  do  not  mean  the  isolation  that  is 
essential  to  concentration,  the  practise  of  which 
always  leads  to  the  most  fruitful  results. 

We  are  speaking  solely  of  the  aloofness  born 
of  timidity  or  of  exaggerated  pride,  which,  in 
depriving  us  of  contrary  views,  develops  in  us 
the  propensity  to  see  things  from  only  one  angle, 


78       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 


which  is  always  that  which  happens  to  flatter 
our  vanity  or  please  our  tastes. 

All  those  persons  who  suffer  from  this  disease 
of  the  will,  which  deprives  them  of  the  ability 
of  discussing  things,  may  be  compared  to  run- 
ners who  have  neglected  to  ascertain  the  limits 
of  their  race. 

Like  the  latter,  they  keep  running  round  the 
same  track  without  any  means  of  discovering 
when  they  are  nearing  the  goal. 

Instead  of  stopping,  when  they  have  reached 
it,  they  keep  running  forward  and  the  monotony 
of  their  efforts,  coupled  with  the  fever-heat 
engendered  by  their  exertions,  very  soon  causes 
them  to  view  the  objects  that  they  keep  passing 
and  passing  under  a  deformed  and  distorted 
aspect. 

The  man  of  reason,  on  the  other  hand,  runs 
with  the  single  purpose  in  his  mind  of  reaching 
the  winning-post.  He  studiously  avoids  taking 
his  eyes  off  the  goal,  which  he  has  carefully 
located  in  advance,  and  takes  pains  to  note  the 
moment  when  he  is  nearing  it,  so  as  to  run  no 
risks  of  making  his  spurt  too  soon. 

It  is  a  matter  of  frequent  observation  that 
timidity  often  voluntarily  assumes  the  role  of 
effrontery,   from   very  despair   of   successfully 


MODESTY  AND  EFFRONTERY     79 


accomplishing  the  task  it  is  ambitious  to  per- 
form. 

Illustrious  examples  of  this  contention  are  not 
lacking.  Rousseau,  who  was  a  coward  of  the 
greatest  hardihood,  says  in  his  Confessions: 

**My  foolish  and  unreasoning  fear,  that  I  was 
quite  unable  to  overcome,  of  perpetrating  some 
breach  of  good  manners  led  me  to  assume  the 
attitude  of  caring  nothing  for  the  niceties  of 
life.'' 

A  little  further  on,  he  adds : 

**I  was  made  a  cynic  by  shyness.  I  posed  as 
a  despiser  of  the  politeness  I  did  not  know  how 
to  practise.'* 

This  is  a  much  more  frequent  cause  than  one 
might  think  of  the  exhibition  of  an  effrontery 
which  is  apparently  deliberate  and  intentional. 

The  timid  man,  feeling  himself  awkward  and 
clownish  when  performing  the  usual  acts  of 
courtesy,  assumes  the  attitude  of  caring  nothing 
for  them  and  of  avoiding  them  deliberately, 
while  all  the  while  he  is  tortured  by  the  inability 
to  perform  them  without  seeming  ridiculous. 

But  the  onlooker  is  not  deceived.  The  out- 
ward appearance  of  cynicism  often  conceals  an 
inward  sensitiveness  of  soul  that  is  quite  ob- 
vious, and  the  actor  makes  so  poor  a  hand  at 

1.9 


80       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

identifying  himself  with  the  character  he  would 
assume  that  it  is  clearly  evident  he  is  only  play- 
ing a  part. 

The  conflict  of  diametrically  opposing  forces 
shows  itself  plainly  in  his  attitude  which  vacil- 
lates between  the  stiffest  formality  and  the 
easiest  assurance. 

The  awkwardness  that  is  the  bugbear  of  the 
timid  shows  itself  even  beneath  their  work  of 
cynicism,  and  the  very  effort  accuses  them,  no 
less  than  their  flighty  and  unreasoning  conver- 
sation and  their  gestures,  now  exaggerated  and 
now  represt,  all  of  which  make  up  a  whole  that 
entirely  fails  to  give  an  impression  of  harmony. 

And  what  possible  harmony  can  there  be  be- 
tween a  soul  and  a  body  that  are  completely  out 
of  accord  with  each  other? 

Should  it  be  asked  what  the  difference  is  be- 
tween presumption  or  effrontery  and  the  poise 
that  we  have  in  mind,  this  simple  illustration 
should  be  illuminating. 

Effrontery,  bravado,  and  exaggeration  are 
qualities  that  are  shown  by  those  who  exceed 
their  own  capacity  without  giving  the  question 
a  thought. 

Poise  is  the  virtue  which  gives  us  the  strength 
of  mind  to  analyze  the  possibilities   that  are 


MODESTY  AND  EFFRONTERY      81 

dominant  within  us,  to  cultivate  them,  and  to 
stren^gthgii  them  in  every  possible  way  before 
undertaking  an  enterprise  which  is  likely  to 
call  them  into  play. 

Real  poise  has  no  bluster  about  it.  It  has 
a  good  deal  in  it  of  self-possession,  the  dis- 
cretion belonging  to  which  is  one  of  its  marked 
characteristics. 

Repression  of  our  outward  movements  enables 
us  to  achieve  that  control  over  our  emotions 
which  makes  a  perfect  cloak  for  our  intentions, 
and  leaves  our  opponents  in  perplexity  as  to 
how  to  attack  the  fortress  that  they  wish  to 

conquer. 

It  is,  therefore,  between  modesty  and  effron- 
tery, both  equally  prejudicial  to  success,  that 
poise  must  naturally  be  placed. 

But,  it  will  be  objected,  all  the  world  does 
not  possess  this  gift  of  poise.  Are  those  who  do 
not  share  it  to  be  forever  denied  all  chance  of 

success  1 

Not  so !  It  is  open  to  all  the  world  to  acquire 
this  gift,  and  if  the  chapters  following  this  are 
read  with  care  it  will  be  seen  that  it  is  some- 
thing that  can  be  cultivated,  so  that  it  can  be 
gradually  perfected  and  carried  about  with  one 
as  the  germ  of  every  sort  of  success,  the  happy 


Sft       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

issue  of  which  depends  upon  a  thorough  realiza- 
tion of  one's  own  merits  and  the  honorable 
ambition  to  accomplish  a  task  that  has  been 
prudently  planned  and  bravely  carried  to  an 
€nd. 


CHAPTER  II 

PHYSICAL    EXERCISES    TO    ACQUIRE 

POISE 

Before  preparing  oneself  by  the  exercise  of 
reasoning  and  will-power  for  the  acquisition  of 
poise,  it  is  vitally  necessary  to  make  oneself 
physically  fit  for  the  effort  to  be  undertaken. 

One  should  begin  with  this  fundamental  prin- 

ciple : 

Timidity  being  a  disease  one  must  treat  it 
just  as  one  would  any  other  illness. 

Like  all  other  physical  maladies  it  is  sure  ta 
be  the  cause  of  loss  of  social  prestige  to  those 
who  suffer  from  it. 

It  must  then  be  combated  in  the  same  way  as 
any  other  infirmity  of  long  standing  that 
threatens  to  ruin  the  life  of  the  sufferer. 

It  is  a  grave  mistake  to  consider  it  merely 
a  mental  ailment  that  can  be  alleviated  by 
nothing  but  psychological  treatment. 

One's  nervous  condition  plays  a  very  large 
part  in  the  conquest  of  poise. 

We  must,  therefore,  watch  most  carefully  over 

83 


I 


'I 


84 


POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 


the  good  health  of  the  body  before  taking  any 
measures  whatever  to  abolish  a  condition  of 
affairs  that  has  been  engendered  by  physical 
weakness  and  that  will  be  fostered  by  it  unless 
such  weakness  can  be  eradicated  or  more  or  less 
dissipated  and  ameliorated  by  a  thousand  little 
daily  acts  of  care. 

It  must  be  understood  that  we  are  not  now 
speaking  of  medical  treatment.  We  have  refer- 
ence merely  to  that  common-sense  hygiene  which 
has  become  more  or  less  a  part  of  modem  exis- 
tence, and  the  daily  practise  of  which,  while 
firmly  establishing  the  health,  has  at  the  same 
time  an  undoubted  reflex  action  upon  the  mind. 
It  is  a  well-known  fact  that  energy  is  never 
found  in  a  weakened  body,  and  that  people  who 
are  suffering  are  clearly  marked  down  to  be- 
come the  prey  of  those  wasting  diseases,  whose 
names,  all  more  or  less  fantastic,  may  be  classed 
as  a  whole  under  the  general  heading  of  **  ner- 
vous maladies." 

To  enumerate  them  is  superfluous  and  un- 
necessary. Lack  of  poise  gives  rise  to  all  sorts 
of  weaknesses,  which  are  given  the  names  of 
nervous  diseases  and  finally  become  classed  in  the 
category  of  phobias,  of  which  the  starting-point 
is   always   a   habit   of  fear   due   to   excess   of 


PHYSICAL  EXERCISES 


85 


timidity.  This  morbid  disposition  is  the  parent 
of  a  continual  apprehensiveness  which  is  shown 
upon  all  sorts  of  occasions. 

The  man  who  has  the  space  phobia  is  quite 
unable  to  cross  an  open  space  unless  he  is  sup- 
ported or,  at  the  very  least,  accompanied. 

Claustrophobia  is  the  malady  of  those  who 
have  a  horror  of  close  quarters  from  which  they 
can  not  easily  make  their  escape. 

Writers'  cramp  is  nothing  in  the  world  but 
one  of  these  exaggerated  nervous  terrors. 

Erythrophobia,  that  is  to  say  the  habit  of  in- 
opportune and  constant  blushing,  is  another  of 
the  commonest  forms  of  excessive  timidity. 

Stammering  is  another  of  the  tortures  that 
people  of  poise  do  not  experience,  except  in  those 
cases  where  it  is  caused  by  a  physical  malfor- 
mation. 

All  these  maladies  attack  only  the  timid. 

There  are  many  others,  less  serious  in  their 
nature,  such  as  indecision,  exaggerated  scru:;^ 
pulousnesa,  extreme  pliability,  hypochondria. 
'All  of  these  should  be  ruthlessly  supprest  the 
moment  we  become  aware  of  them,  for  they  are 
one  and  all  the  forerunners  of  that  mentally 
diseased  condition  which  gives  rise  to  the 
phobias  of  which  we  have  just  been  speaking. 


( 


86       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

To  those  who  would  seriously  devote  them- 
selves to  the  cultivation  of  poise  it  is,  therefore, 
a  vital  necessity  to  be  in  a  condition  of  perfect 
health.  It  would  be  a  misfortune,  indeed,  for 
them  to  find  themselves  balked  in  their  progress 
toward  acquiring  this  quality  by  anxieties  re- 
garding the  condition  of  their  bodies. 

Any  indisposition,  not  to  mention  actual 
diseases,  has  a  tendency  to  inhibit  all  initiative. 

There  is  no  room  for  doubt  that  a  physical 
ailment  by  attracting  to  itself  the  attention  of 
the  person  who  is  attacked  by  it,  prevents  him 
from  giving  the  proper  amount  of  energy  to 
whatever  he  may  be  engaged  upon. 

He  thinks  about  nothing  but  his  malady  and 
quite  forgets  to  take  the  exercises  that  would 
enable  him  to  alter  his  condition,  to  change  his 
actions,  and  even  to  make  over  his  thoughts. 

His  thoughts  above  all.  Physical  well-being 
has  an  undeniable  influence  upon  one's  mental 
health. 

One  very  rarely  sees  a  sick  person  who  is 
happy.  Even  those  who  are  endowed  with  great 
force  of  character  lose,  under  the  burden  of 
their  sufferings,  part  of  their  firmness  of  soul 
and  of  their  legitimate  ambition. 

A  very  scientific  force  of  hygiene  is  particu- 


PHYSICAL  EXERCISES 


87 


larly  recommended.    Excessive  measures  of  any 
sort  must  be  avoided  for  various  reasons: 

(1)  They  are  antagonistic  to  the  mainten- 
ance of  a  perfect  physical  equilibrium. 

(2)  They  will  inevitably  grow  to  dominate 
the  mind  unduly. 

When  we  speak  of  excesses,  we  intend  to  in- 
clude those  undertaken  in  the  way  of  work  no 
less  than  those  which  are  the  outcome  of  the 
search  for  pleasure. 

Nevertheless  we  will  hasten  to  add*  that  these 
last  are  much  the  more  to  be  feared. 

What  can  be  expected,  for  instance,  from  a 
man  who  has  passed  a  night  in  debauchery? 

Morning  finds  him  a  weakling,  good  for  noth- 
ing, and  incapable  of  making  the  slightest  effort 
that  calls  for  energy. 

He  is  lucky,  indeed,  if  his  excesses  have  no 
disastrous  results  that  will  destroy  his  happi- 
ness or  his  good  name. 

The  fear  of  complications  that  may  be  the 
outcome  of  his  gross  pleasures  soon  begins  to 
haunt  him  and  to  usurp  in  his  mind  the  place  of 
nobler  and  more  useful  impulses. 

As  to  his  health,  it  is  hardly  necessary  for  us 
to  insist  upon  the  disorder  that  such  habits 
must  necessarily  produce. 


\ 


88       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

The  least  misfortune  that  he  can  look  for  is 
a  profound  lassitude  and  a  desire  for  rest  which 
is  the  enemy  of  all  virile  effort. 

The  same  thing  is  true  of  the  man  who  in- 
dulges too  freely  in  the  pleasures  of  the  table. 
The  work  of  digestion  leaves  him  in  an  ex- 
hausted condition  and  with  a  craving  for  repose 
that  very  soon  results  in  a  complete  lack  of 
moral  tone. 

Even  supposing  that  his  daily  routine  con- 
sists of  two  principal  meals,  and  of  two  others 
of  less  importance,  it  will  be  easily  understood 
that  the  man  who  loads  down  his  stomach  with 
such  a  large  amount  of  continuous  work  will 
not  be  very  apt  to  adapt  himself  readily  to 
matters  of  a  wholly  different  kind. 

To  avoid  pain,  to  sit  inert,  like  a  gorged 
animal,  without  attempting  to  think,  is  the  sole 
desire  of  the  gluttons  who  are  wearied  by  every 
repeated  excess. 

The  same  reasoning  could  be  applied  to  the 
lazy,  who  suffer  in  health  from  indulgence  in 
their  favorite  vice. 

It  can  not  be  disputed  that  lack  of  exercise 
is  the  cause  of  ailments  that  have  a  marked 
effect  upon  the  moral  character. 

Since  physical  laziness  always  goes  hand  in 


I 


PHYSICAL  EXERCISES 


89 


hand  with  mental  apathy,  it  follows  that  a 
dread  of  exerting  oneself  is  always  to  be  found 
coupled  with  a  hatred  of  being  forced  to  think. 

It  is,  therefore,  essential  for  the  man  who 
would  acquire  poise  to  fortify  himself  in  ad- 
vance against  physical  weaknesses  which,  by 
undermining  his  will-power,  will  soon  furnish 
him  with  the  most  plausible  reasons  for  losing 
interest  in  the  steady  application  that  is  needed 
for  accomplishing  his  purpose. 

In  achieving  the  conquest  of  poise  certain 
physical  exercises,  practised  every  day,  and 
vigorously  followed  out,  will  be  found  of  con- 
siderable help. 

Before  discussing  the  practical  methods  which 
are  at  once  their  starting-point  and  their  result, 
we  will  consider  in  turn  the  series  of  exercises 
that  must  be  performed  each  day  in  order  to 
keep  oneself  in  the  condition  of  physical  well- 
being  which  allows  of  the  accomplishment  of 
moral  reform. 


SERIES  OF  EXERCISES 


91 


CHAPTER   III 

FOUR  SERIES  OF  PHYSICAL 
EXERCISES 

FIRST    SERIES — BREATHING 

The  point  of  departure  for  the  cultivation  of 
poise,  like  that  of  everything  else  in  fact,  must 
be  a  well-ordered  system  of  hygiene,  far  removed 
from  excess,  and  insisting  only  upon  the  points 
we  have  already  indicated. 

Without  wishing  to  fall  into  the  well-known 
error  of  so  many  modem  teachers,  who  assign 
an  exaggerated  importance  to  breathing  exer- 
cises, we  must,  nevertheless,  admit  the  great 
role  that  respiration  plays  in  physical  balance. 

We  are  now  speaking,  understand,  of  method- 
ical breathing,  we  might  almost  term  it  *' rea- 
soned*' breathing. 

Every  one,  of  course,  breathes  without  being 
aware  of  it  from  the  moment  of  his  birth  to 
the  hour  of  his  death,  but  very  few  people  are 
aware  how  to  increase  the  power  and  to  enlarge 
the  capacity  of  their  lungs. 

00 


Nevertheless,  upon  these  conditions  it  is  that 
activity  depends,  as  well  as  the  health  and  the 
energy  that  enables  us  to  consecrate  ourselves  to 
the  pursuit  of  a  definite  aim. 

Without  having  to  lay  claim  to  a  vast  knowl- 
edge of  medicine  one  can  discover  that  all  re- 
peated exejrcise  tend^  to  strengthen  the  "organ 
that  is  employed. 

Thus,  well-directed  and  carefully  practised 
breathing  gives  the  heart  a  stronger  beat  and 
facilitates  the  action  of  the  lungs. 

From  these  arises  a  general  feeling  of  physical 
well-being,  which  tends  to  the  preservation  of 
good  health  and  stores  up  the  energy  we  need 
to  carry  out  our  resolves. 

It  is,  then,  advisable  to  devote  several  minutes 
every  day  to  breathing  exercises,  not  merely 
automatic,  but  purposeful  and  under  thorough 
control. 

To  accomplish  this  there  are  two  methods. 

The  first,  very  easy  of  comprehension,  is  to 
lie  down  on  one's  back  and  to  breathe  deeply 
with  the  mouth  closed  and  the  nostrils  dilated. 

As  much  air  as  can  be  held  must  be  taken 
into  the  lungs,  then  the  mouth  must  be  opened 
and  the  air  must  be  allowed  to  escape  gradually. 

During  this  operation  one  should  pay  par- 


i 


92       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

ticular  attention  to  expanding  the  walls  of  the 
chest,  while  flattening  the  stomach. 

About  twenty  deep  respirations  are  required 
to  accomplish  the  desired  effect. 

Little  by  little  the  lungs  will  dilate  and  one 
will  unconsciously  increase  the  length  of  the 
inspiration  and  the  slowness  with  which  the  air 
is  expelled. 

The  second  method  consists  in  standing  erect, 
with  the  head  thrown  slightly  back.  The  lungs 
should  then  be  filled  with  air  and  one  should 
count  mentally  up  to  ^ve  or  even  ten  before  ex- 
haling the  air  that  has  been  breathed  in. 

It  is  advisable  that  when  exhaling  one  should 
utter  a  continuous  hum,  which  must  be  abso- 
lutely free  from  trembling  when  one  has  prac- 
tised it  properly. 

People  who  have  practised  this  exercise  have 
often  stated  that  this  method  of  breathing  has 
been  of  great  help  to  them  when  much  fatigued 
as  well  as  a  first-class  stimulus  in  moments  when 
all  their  physical  powers  were  to  be  called  into 
play. 

A  well-known  college  professor  has  assured 
us  that  every  day,  before  giving  his  lectures,  he 
makes  use  of  this  exercise.  He  claims  that  he 
has  thus  gained  a  freedom  of  breathing  the  good 


SERIES  OF  EXERCISES 


93 


effects  of  which  are  manifest  in  the  facility  with 
which  he  is  able  to  give  his  lecture  and  in  his 
general  feeling  of  ease.  Rendered  quite  free 
from  any  suspicion  of  nervousness,  he  feels  that 
he  is  completely  master  of  himself  and  in  a  fit 
state  of  moral  and  physical  health  to  employ  the 
poise  that  is  essential  to  the  man  who  has  to 
instruct  and  to  convince  others. 

Deep  breathing  has  the  further  advantage  of 
developing  the  lungs,  of  strengthening  them, 
and  at  the  same  time  of  making  their  ordinary 
functioning  more  regular. 

The  man  who  practises  this  exercise  will  have 
much  less  propensity  to  get  out  of  breath.  This 
will  be  a  great  assistance  to  those  timid  people 
who  are  disconcerted  by  trifles  and  who,  at  the 
least  little  occurrence,  become  so  much  affected 
by  emotion  that  they  experience  a  sensible  ac- 
celeration of  the  action  of  the  heart. 

Palpitation  can  not  take  place  without  causing 
us  physical  discomfort,  and  this  condition  is  a 
serious  stumbling-block  in  the  way  of  the  acqui- 
sition of  poise,  for,  in  view  of  the  great  stress 
the  man  of  timidity  lays  upon  the  opinion  of 
others,  he  will  be  apprehensive  of  giving  them 
any  inkling  of  his  distress,  and  yet  his  difficulty 
in  breathing  will  be  bound  to  reveal  it. 


94       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

The  exercise  of  which  we  have  been  speaking 
should  be  performed  with  care  twice  a  day. 

For  those  whose  leisure  hours  are  few  it  can 
be  accomplished  without  losing  any  of  the  time 
which  is  already  preempted  by  other  things. 

It  is  merely  a  question  of  remembering  it  as 
soon  as  one  wakes  in  the  morning  and  of  never 
forgetting  it  before  one  falls  asleep  at  night. 

The  few  minutes  between  the  moment  that 
one  wakes  and  the  time  one  gets  out  of  bed  can 
be  most  profitably  employed  in  this  way. 

The  same  thing  is  true  at  night. 

If  the  occupations  of  the  day  and  of  the 
evening  leave  us  no  time  to  devote  to  this  exer- 
cise, we  can  always  go  through  it  in  the  moments 
between  retiring  to  bed  and  falling  asleep. 

It  will  thus  be  seen  that  there  is  really  no  valid 
excuse  for  not  undertaking  this  practise,  whose 
effects  will  certainly  be  most  beneficial. 

SECOND  SERIES TRAINING  OF  THE  EYE 

But  our  physical  efforts  must  not  stop  here. 

It  is  more  than  necessary  that  we  should 
make  others  feel  the  effects  of  the  mastery  that 
we  are  slowly  acquiring  over  ourselves. 

The  eye  is  an  invaluable  assistant  to  the  man 
who  is  studying  to  acquire  poise. 


SERIES   OF  EXERCISES 


95 


It  is  not  necessary  here,  in  connection  with 
the  magnetic  properties  of  the  eye,  to  enter  into 
a  digression  too  extensive  for  the  scope  of  this 
book,  but  we  can  not  neglect  this  one  more-than- 
important  factor  altogether. 

We  are  speaking  now  not  only  of  the  power 
in  the  gaze  of  others  but  of  that  of  our  own  eyes 
in  relation  to  our  associates. 

We  must  do  our  best,  in  fine,  to  develop  the 
power  of  our  gaze,  while  studying  to  fortify 
ourselves  against  the  influence  brought  to  bear 
upon  us  in  this  direction  by  others. 

One  frequently  notices,  especially  in  the  case 
of  people  who  are  timid,  a  propensity  to  lose 
their  powers  of  resistance  with  those  who  are 
able  to  fix  them  with  a  steady  stare. 

One  has  often  seen  people  who  lack  will-power 
emerging  completely  upset  from  the  gruelling 
of  an  interview  in  which  they  have  admitted 
everything  that  they  had  most  fervently  resolved 
never  to  disclose. 

A  superior  force  has  dominated  them  to  such 
an  extent  that  they  have  found  it  impossible  to 
conduct  the  discussion  in  the  way  they  had 
planned  to  do  it. 

The  man  who  is  in  earnest  about  acquiring 
poise  must,  then,  be  on  his  guard  against  betray- 

1.7 


$ 


96       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

ing  himself  under  the  magnetism  of  some  one 
else's  gaze. 

At  the  same  time  he  must  cultivate  his  own 
powers  of  the  eye,  so  that  he,  too,  can  possess 
that  ability  against  which,  in  others,  he  must  be 
careful  to  protect  himself,  and  can  utilize  it  for 
his  own  ends. 

The  first  principle  is  to  avoid  looking  directly 
into  the  pupils  of  one's  interlocutor. 

This  is  the  only  way  in  which  a  beginner  can 
avoid  being  affected  by  the  magnetism  of  the 
gaze. 

By  this  word  magnetism  we  have  in  mind 
nothing  verging  in  the  least  upon  the  super- 
natural. 

We  have  reference  only  to  the  well-known 
physical  discomfort  experienced  by  those  who 
have  not  yet  become  masters  of  poise  when 
meeting  a  steady  stare. 

Its  effect  is  so  strong  that,  in  the  majority  of 
cases,  the  timid  are  quite  unable  to  endure  it. 
They  stammer,  lose  their  presence  of  mind,  and 
finally  reveal  everything  they  are  asked  to  tell, 
if  only  to  escape  from  the  tyranny  of  the  gaze 
which  seems  to  go  right  through  them  and  to 
dictate  the  words  that  they  must  utter. 

One  must  be  careful,  then,  not  to  allow  one- 


SERIES  OF  EXERCISES 


97 


self  to  become  swayed  by  the  gaze  of  another. 
But  since  it  would  seem  ridiculous  to  keep  one's 
eyes  constantly  lowered,  and  is  impolite  to  allow 
them  to  wander  from  the  face  of  the  person  with 
whom  one  is  speaking,  one  can  escape  the  mag- 
netic effect  of  his  pupils  by  looking  steadily  at 
the  bridge  of  his  nose  directly  between  his  eyes. 
When  first  practising  this  one  must  be  careful 
not  to  look  too  fixedly,  for  the  eye  has  not  yet 
acquired  the  necessary  muscular  power,  and  one 
will  quickly  find  oneself  fascinated  instead  of 

dominating. 

But  this  method  is  an  absolute  safeguard,  if 

one  does  not  stare  too  fixedly. 

It  must  not  be  forgotten  that  this  spot  is 
known  as  the  ** magnetic  point." 

In  the  case  of  those  who  have  made  no  study 
of  the  power  of  the  eye,  and  particularly  of 
those  who  are  lacking  in  poise,  this  method  of 
looking  steadily  at  the  bridge  of  the  other's  nose, 
while  not  having  any  marked  effect  upon  him, 
wiU  save  them  from  becoming  the  tools  of  his 

will.  «       -,  i. 

Certain  easy  exercises  will  be  found  most 
useful  in  arriving  at  the  possession  of  the  first 
notions  of  this  art,  so  indispensable  in  the  ordi- 
nary  applications  of  poise. 


98       POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 


One  good  way  is  to  look  steadily,  for  several 
seconds  at  first  and  later  on  for  several  minutes 
at  a  time,  at  some  object  so  small  that  the  eye 
can  remain  fixt  upon  it  without  discomfort. 

For  the  latter  reason  it  is  better  to  choose 
something  dark.  A  brilliant  object  will  much 
more  readily  cause  fatigue  and  dizziness. 

We  have  said  for  several  seconds  to  begin 
with.  It  will  be  found  a  matter  of  sufficient 
difficulty  to  keep  one's  gaze  fixt  for  much  longer 
than  this,  when  one  is  unaccustomed  to  this  sort 
of  exercise. 

One  should  endeavor  to  keep  the  two  eyes 
open  without  winking.  One  should  not  open 
them  too  wide  nor  yet  close  them.  The  head 
should  be  kept  steady  and  the  pupils  motionless. 

If  this  attempt  causes  the  least  wandering  of 
the  gaze  or  the  slightest  winking  of  the  eyes,  it 
must  be  begun  over  again. 

It  is  for  this  reason  that  at  the  start  it  will 
be  found  difficult  to  keep  it  up  for  more  than  a 
few  seconds. 

After  resting  awhile  one  should  repeat  the 
exercise  afresh,  until  the  time  comes  when  one 
can  concentrate  one's  gaze  in  this  way  for  at 
least  four  or  five  minutes  of  perfect  fixity. 

In  order  to  keep  count  of  the  lime  that  is 


SERIES  OF  EXERCISES 


99 


passing,  as  well  as  to  keep  control  of  one's  will- 
power, it  is  advisable  to  count  aloud  in  such  a 
way  that  approximately  one  second  elapses  be- 
tween the  naming  of  every  two  numbers. 

When  once  fixity  of  gaze  has  been  acquired, 
one  can  essay  various  other  exercises,  such  as 
concentrating  the  eyes  on  an  object  and  turning 
the  head  slowly  to  one  side  and  the  other  with- 
out removing  one's  gaze  from  this  point  for  a 

moment. 

It  is  not  until  one  is  very  certain  that  the 
muscles  of  the  eye  have  been  thoroughly  trained 
that  one  should  undertake  the  mirror  test. 

To  do  this,  one  must  take  up  a  position  in 
front  of  a  glass  and  fix  one's  gaze  upon  one's 
own  pupils  for  a  time.  Then  one  must  transfer 
it  to  the  bridge  of  the  nose,  between  the  two 
eyes,  and  must  strive  to  keep  it  there  immovably. 

At  first  this  exercise  will  not  be  found  as  easy 
as  one  might  suppose.  The  magnetic  power  of 
the  pupils  is  great  and  one  will  experience  some 
slight  difficulty  in  breaking  away  from  it. 

For  this  reason  it  is  a  good  plan  to  count  out 
loud  slowly  up  to  a  predetermined  number,  at 
which  point  the  gaze  should  be  at  once  trans- 
ferred to  the  bridge  of  the  nose. 

These  exercises  of  the  eye  will  be  found  par- 


100     POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

ticularly  beneficial  for  people  who  are  desirous 
of  acquiring  poise,  as  aside  from  the  advantages 
we  have  specified,  they  have  the  effect  of 
strengthening  the  will-power,  which  will  be 
found  to  have  materially  gained  by  this  means. 

When  the  desired  result  appears  to  have  been 
accomplished  and  one  feels  oneself  strong  enough 
to  meet  or  to  avoid  another  person's  eye,  while 
at  the  same  time  one  is  conscious  that  one  can 
dominate  with  one's  own,  it  will  be  well  to  ex- 
periment upon  the  people  with  whom  one  is 
closely  associated. 

One  can  thus  become  accustomed,  little  by 
little,  to  control  one's  gaze,  to  force  an  estimate 
of  its  influence,  and  to  neutralize  the  effect  of 
that  of  other  people. 

THIED    SERIES — THE    MOTIONS,    THE    CARRIAGE 

Another  highly  important  point  in  the  con- 
quest of  poise  is  the  struggle  against  awkward- 
ness, which  is  at  once  the  parent  and  the  off- 
spring of  timidity. 

Let  us  make  ourselves  clear. 

Many  people  only  lack  poise  because  they  fear 
ridicule  of  their  obvious  embarrassment  and  of 
the  awkward  hesitation  of  their  movemeijits. 


SERIES  OF  EXERCISES 


101 


I 


Others  fall  into  this  embarrassment  as  the 
result  of  exhibitions  of  clumsiness  in  which  they 
cover  themselves  with  ridicule.  The  terror  of 
renewing  their  moments  of  torture  drives  them 
into  a  reserve,  from  which  they  only  emerge 
with  a  constraint  so  evident  that  it  is  reflected 
in  their  gestures,  the  evidences  of  a  deplorable 
awkwardness. 

It  is  exceedingly  simple  to  find  a  remedy  for 
these  unpleasant  conditions.  One  must  make  up 
one's  mind  to  combat  their  exhibitions  of  weak- 
ness by  determining  to  acquire  ease  of  move- 
ment. 

We  have  all  noticed  that  awkwardness  occurs 

only  in  public. 

The  most  embarrassed  person  in  the  world 
carries  himself,  when  alone,  in  a  fashion  quite 
foreign  to  that  which  is  the  regret  of  his  friends. 

It  may  happen,  however,  that  awkwardness 
too  long  allowed  to  become  a  habit  will  have  a 
disastrous  effect  upon  our  daily  actions,  and  that 
the  person  who  is  lacking  in  poise  will  end  by 
keeping  up,  even  in  private,  the  awkward  ges- 
tures and  uncouth  movements  that  cause  him 
eternal  shame  at  his  own  expense. 

In  such  a  case  a  cure  will  be  a  little  more 
difficult  to  effect,  but  it  can  be  arrived  at,  with- 


il 


I 


102      POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

out  a  shadow  of  doubt,  if  our  advice  is  faithfully 
followed  out. 

It  is  an  obvious  truth  that  the  repetition  of 
any  act  diminishes  the  emotion  it  gave  rise  to 
in  us  at  the  first  performance. 

Physical  exercises  are  then  in  order,  to 
achieve  for  us  suppleness  of  movement  and  to 
extend  its  scope. 

Every  morning,  after  our  breathing  exercises 
(which  can  be  performed  in  bed  between  the 
moment  of  waking  and  that  of  getting  up,  ac- 
cording to  our  advice  to  those  whose  time  is 
limited)  it  is  absolutely  necessary  to  devote  five 
minutes  to  bodily  exercises,  the  object  of  which 
is  the  acquirement  of  an  easy  carriage  from  the 
frequent  repetition  of  certain  movements. 

For  instance,  one  should  endeavor  to  expand 
the  chest  as  far  as  possible,  while  throwing  back 
the  head  and  extending  the  arms,  not  by  jerky 
movements  but  by  a  wide  and  rhythmical  sweep, 
which  should  be  every  day  made  a  little  more 
extended. 

While  doing  this  one  should  hollow  the  back 
so  that  it  becomes  a  perfect  arch. 

Then  one  should  walk  up  and  down  the  room, 
endeavoring  to  keep  one's  steps  of  even  length 
and  one's  body  erect. 


I 


t) 


V 


4 


SERIES   OF  EXERCISES 


103 


♦^^ 


One  should  never  allow  these  daily  exercises 
to  go  unperformed  on  the  pretext  of  lack  of 
time. 

Five  minutes  of  deep  breathing  and  five  min- 
utes to  practise  the  other  movements  advised 
will  be  sufficient,  if  one  performs  these  tasks 
every  day  with  regularity  and  conscientiousness. 

The  speaking  exercises,  to  which  we  shall  now 
refer  can  be  carried  out  while  we  are  dressing. 

Choose  a  phrase,  a  short  one  to  start  with, 
and  longer  as  you  progress,  and  repeat  it  in  front 
of  the  glass  while  observing  yourself  carefully, 
to  be  sure  that  your  face  shows  no  sign  of  em- 
barrassment and  that  you  do  not  stammer  or 
hesitate  in  any  way. 

If  the  words  do  not  come  out  clearly,  you  must 
make  an  immediate  stop  and  go  doggedly  back 
to  the  beginning  of  your  phrase,  until  you  are 
able  to  enunciate  it  with  mechanical  accuracy 
and  without  a  single  sign  of  hesitation. 

You  must  study  to  avoid  all  the  jerky  and 
abrupt  movements  which  disfigure  the  address 
of  the  timid  and  deprive  them  of  all  the  assur- 
ance that  they  should  possess,  for  the  reason 
that  they  can  not  help  paying  attention  to  their 
own  lack  of  composure. 

Finally,  from  the  moment  of  rising,  as  well 


i 


104      POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

as  when  brushing  his  hair,  tying  his  necktie,  or 
putting  on  his  clothes,  the  man  who  desires  to 
acquire  poise  will  watch  himself  narrowly,  with 
a  view  to  making  his  movements  more  supple 
and  to  invest  them  with  grace. 

Once  in  the  street,  he  will  not  forget  to  carry 
his  head  erect,  without  exaggerating  the  pose, 
and  will  always  walk  with  a  firm  step  without 
looking  directly  ahead  of  him. 

If  this  attitude  is  a  difficult  one  for  him  when 
commencing,  he  can,  at  the  start,  assign  a  certain 
time  for  observing  this  position,  and  gradually 
increase  its  length,  until  he  feels  no  further 
inconvenience. 

The  feeling  of  obvious  awkwardness  is  a  large 
factor  in  the  lack  of  poise. 

It  is  then  a  matter  of  great  importance  to 
modify  one's  outward  carriage,  while  at  the 
same  time  applying  oneself  to  the  conquest  of 
one's  soul,  so  as  to  achieve  the  object  not  only 
of  actually  becoming  a  man  who  must  be  reck- 
oned with,  but  of  impressing  every  one  with 
what  one  is,  and  what  one  is  worth. 


SERIES  OF  EXERCISES  106 

FOURTH    SERIES— SPEAKING   EXERCISES 

Is  it  really  necessary  to  point  out  what  a 
weight  readiness  of  speech  has  in  bringing  about 
the  success  of  any  undertaking? 

The  man  who  can  make  a  clever  and  forceful 
speech  will  always  convince  his  hearers,  what- 
ever may  be  the  cause  he  pleads. 

Do  we  not  see  criminals  acquitted  every  day 
solely  because  of  the  eloquence  of  their  lawyers  ? 
Have  we  not  often  been  witnesses  to  the 
defeat  of  entirely  honest  people  who,  from  lack 
of  ability  to  put  up  a  good  argument,  allow 
themselves  to  be  convicted  of  negligence  or  of 
carelessness,  if  of  nothing  worse  ? 

Eloquence,  or  at  least  a  certain  facility  of 
speech,  is  one  of  the  gifts  of  the  man  of  poise. 
One  reason  for  this  is  that  his  mind  is  always 
fixt  upon  the  object  he  wishes  to  attain  by  his 
arguments,  which  eliminates  all  wandering  of 
the  thoughts. 

But  there  is  another  reason,  a  purely  physical 
one.  The  emotions  experienced  by  the  timid 
are  quite  unknown  to  him  and  he  is  not  the 
victim  of  any  of  the  physical  inhibitions  which, 
in  affecting  the  clearness  of  their  powers  of 
speech,  tend  to  reduce  them  to  confusion. 


106     POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 


Stammering,  stuttering,  and  all  the  other 
ordinary  disabilities  of  the  speaker,  can  almost 
without  exception  be  attributed  to  timidity  and 
to  the  nervousness  of  which  it  is  the  cause. 

We  shall  see  in  the  next  chapter  how  these 
defects  can  be  cured. 

In  this,  which  is  devoted  specially  to  physical 
exercises,  we  will  give  the  mechanical  means  for 
overcoming  these  grave  defects. 

Just  as  soon  as  the  difficulties  of  utterance 
have  been  overcome,  and  one  is  no  longer  in 
terror  of  falling  into  a  laughable  blunder,  and 
thus  has  no  further  reason  to  fear,  when  under- 
taking to  speak,  that  one  will  be  made  fun  of 
because  the  object  of  disconcerting  mockery, 
one's  ideas  will  cease  to  be  dammed  up  by  this 
haunting  dread  and  can  take  shape  in  one's 
brain  just  as  fast  as  one  expresses  them. 

Clearness  of  conception  will  be  reflected  in 
that  of  what  we  say,  and  poise  will  soon  manifest 
itself  in  the  manner  of  the  man  who  no  longer 
feels  himself  to  be  the  object  of  ill-natured 
laughter. 

One  should  set  oneself  then  every  morning  to 
the  performance  of  exercises  consisting  of  open- 
ing the  mouth  as  wide  as  one  possibly  can  and 
then  shutting  it,  to  open  it  once  more  to  its 


SERIES  OF  EXERCISES 


107 


fullest  extent,   and  so  on  until    one    becomes 
fatigued. 

This  exercise  is  designed  to  cover  the  well- 
known  difficulty  of  those  who  speak  infrequently 
and  which  is  familiarly  known  as  *' heavy  jaw.'' 

One  should  next  endeavor  to  pronounce  every 
consonant  with  the  utmost  distinctness. 

If  certain  consonants,  as  s,  for  example,  or 
ch,  are  not  enunciated  clearly,  one  should  keep 
at  it  until  one  pronounces  them  satisfactorily. 

Now  one  should  construct  short  sentences  con- 
taining as  many  difficult  consonants  as  possible. 

Next  we  should  apply  ourselves  to  declaiming 
longer  sentences. 

It  will  be  of  help  to  have  these  sentences  con- 
stitute an  affirmation  of  will-power  and  of  poise. 

For  example:  **I  can  express  myself  with 
the  greatest  possible  facility,  because  timidity 
and  embarrassment  are  complete  strangers  to 
me." 

Or  again:  *a  am  a  master  of  the  art  of  cloth- 
ing my  thoughts  in  elegant  and  illuminating 
phrases,  because  stammering,  stuttering,  and  all 
the  other  misfortunes  that  oppress  the  timid, 
are  to  me  unknown  quantities.'* 

We  can  not  insist  too  strongly  upon  the  cumu- 
lative effect  of  words  which  are  constantly  re- 


108     POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 


peated.  It  is  a  good  thing  to  impress  oneself 
with  forceful  ideas  that  make  for  courage  and 
for  achievement. 

Distrust  of  self  being  the  principal  defect  of 
the  timid,  the  man  who  would  acquire  poise 
must  bend  every  effort  to  banishing  it  from  his 
thoughts. 

The  repetition  of  these  sentences,  by  building 
up  conviction,  will  undoubtedly  end  by  creating 
a  confidence  in  oneself  that  will  at  first  be  hesi- 
tating, but  will  gradually  acquire  force.  This 
is  a  great  step  in  advance  on  the  road  toward 
poise. 

We  are  discussing,  it  should  be  understood, 
only  such  cases  of  difficulty  in  speaking  as  are 
directly  traceable  to  an  inherent  timidity. 

If  the  inability  to  speak  clearly  comes  from 
a  physical  malformation  it  should  at  once  be 
brought  to  the  attention  of  a  specialist. 

It  is  well  recognized  that,  in  the  majority  of 
cases,  those  defects  are  the  consequences  of 
timidity,  when  they  are  not  its  direct  cause. 

In  combating  them,  then,  with  every  means  at 
his  disposal,  the  man  who  desires  to  acquire  poise 
will  prove  the  logicality  of  his  mind.  It  is  a 
well-known  axiom  that  effects  are  produced  by 
causes,  and  vice  versa. 


SERIES  OF  EXERCISES 


109 


Thus,  in  the  case  we  are  considering,  timidity 
either  causes  the  difficulty  in  speaking  or  is 
caused  by  it.  In  the  first  condition  as  well  as 
in  the  second,  the  disappearance  of  the  one 
trouble  depends  upon  the  eradication  of  the 
other. 


FOR  OBTAINING  POISE 


111 


CHAPTER   IV 

PRACTICAL   EXERCISES   FOR 
OBTAINING   POISE 

COMPOSURE 

One  of  the  essential  conditions  of  acquiring 
poise  is  to  familiarize  oneself  with  the  habit  of 
composure. 

Timid  people  know  nothing  of  its  advantages. 
They  are  always  ill  at  ease,  fearful,  devoured  by 
dread  of  other  people's  censures,  and  completely 
upset  by  the  idea  of  the  least  initiative. 

Their  mania  leads  them  to  exaggerate  the 
smallest  incident.  A  trifle  puts  them  in  a  panic, 
and  at  the  mere  notion  that  strangers  have  per- 
ceived this  they  become  quite  out  of  counte- 
nance and  are  possest  by  but  one  idea,  to  avoid 
by  flight  the  repetition  of  such  unpleasant 
emotions. 

A  quite  useless  attempt,  for  in  whatever  retire- 
ment people  who  lack  poise  may  live,  they  will 
find  themselves  certainly  the  victims  of  the  small 
embarrassments  of  every-day  life,  which,  in  their 
eyes,  will  soon  take  on  the  guise  of  disasters. 

110 


' 


Composure  should,  then,  be  the  first  achieve- 
ment in  the  way  of  self-conquest  to  be  aimed  at 
by  the  man  who  is  desirous  of  attaining  poise. 

But,  it  will  be  objected,  composure  is  a  con- 
dition that  is  not  familiar  to  everybody.  It  is 
a  question  of  temperament  and  of  disposition. 
Every  one  who  wishes  for  it  can  not  attain  to  it. 

This  is  an  error.  In  order  to  possess  com- 
posure, that  is  to  say  the  first  step  in  the  mastery 
of  self  which  enables  one  to  judge  of  the  pro- 
portions of  things,  it  must  be  achieved,  or  de- 
veloped, if  we  happen  to  be  naturally  inclined 
thereto. 

To  accomplish  this,  deep-breathing  exercises 
are  often  recommended  by  the  philosophers  of 
the  new  school. 

They  advise  those  who  are  desirous  of  culti- 
vating it  to  make  no  resolution,  to  commit  them- 
selves to  no  impulsive  action,  without  first  with- 
drawing into  themselves  and  taking  five  or  six 
deep  breaths  in  the  manner  we  have  described 
in  the  preceding  chapter. 

This  has  the  physical  effect  of  reducing  the 
speed  with  which  the  heart  beats  and,  as  a  result, 
of  relaxing  the  mind  and  quieting  one's  nerves. 

During  the  two  or  three  minutes  thus  em- 
ployed one's  enthusiasm  wanes  and  one's  ideas 

1.8 


I 


112      POISE;  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

take  on  a  less  confused  form.  In  a  word,  un- 
reasoning impulses  no  longer  fill  the  brain  to 
the  extent  of  inhibiting  the  entrance  of  sober 
second  thought. 

But  this  is  only  an  adventitious  means  of 
prevention.  We  will  now  speak  of  those  which 
should  become  a  matter  of  daily  practise  and 
whose  frequent  repetition  will  lead  to  the  poise 
we  seek. 

Every  one  whose  profession  makes  it  necessary 
to  cultivate  his  memory  recognizes  the  import- 
ance of  studying  at  night.  Phrases  learned  just 
before  going  to  sleep  fix  themselves  more  readily 
m  the  mind.  They  remain  latent  in  the  brain 
and  spring  up  anew  in  the  morning  without  call- 
ing  for  much  trouble  to  revive  them. 

For  this  reason  it  is  well  to  retire  to  rest  in 
a  mental  attitude  of  deliberate  calm,  repressing 
every  sort  of  jerky  movement  and  constraining 
oneself  to  lie  perfectly  quiet. 

^   At  the  same  time  one  should  keep  on  repeat- 
ing these  words  : 

'^I  am  composed.  I  propose  to  be  composed. 
1  am  composed!'* 

The  constant  reiteration  of  these  words  con- 
stitute  a  species  of  suggestion,  and  peace  will 
steal  gradually  into  our  souls  and  will  permit  us 


FOR  OBTAINING  POISE 


113 


to  think  quietly,  without  the  risk  of  becoming 
entangled  in  disordered  fancies,  or,  what  is  far 
worse,  falling  a  prey  to  vain  and  unavailing 
regrets. 

Those  who  doubt  the  efficacy  of  this  proceed- 
ing can  be  readily  convinced  by  proving  to  them 
the  tremendous  power  of  mere  words. 

Certain  of  these  electrify  us.  Such  words  as 
patriotism,  revolt,  blood,  always  produce  in  us 
an  emotion  of  enthusiasm  or  disgust. 

Others  again  are  productive  of  color,  and  one 
must  admit  that  the  constant  repetition  of  an 
assurance  ultimately  leads  to  the  creation  of  the 
condition  that  it  pictures  to  us. 

But  to  make  the  assertion  to  oneself,  ''I  am 
composed,"  is  not  all  that  is  necessary.  One 
must  prove  to  oneself  that  one  is  not  glossing 
over  the  truth. 

The  readiest  means  of  accomplishing  this, 
which  is  open  to  every  one  who  has  any  regular 
interests,  is  to  mentally  review  the  words  and 
the  actions  of  the  day,  and  to  pass  judgment 
upon  them  from  the  point  of  view  of  the  quality 
one  is  striving  to  attain. 


114     POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

DAILY    SELF-EXAMINATION 

One  should  convince  oneself  as  soon  as  possible 
of  the  truth  of  the  fact  that  sincerity  toward 
oneself  is  a  large  factor  in  attaining  that  firm- 
ness of  judgment  that  must  be  cultivated  by  the 
man  who  is  in  search  of  poise. 

In  order  to  reach  this  condition  nothing  is 
more  easy  than  to  pass  in  mental  review,  every 
evening,  the  events  that  have  marked  the  day 
that  has  passed. 

In  a  word,  one  should  strive  to  relive  it, 
honestly  confessing  to  oneself  all  the  mistakes 
that  have  crept  into  it. 

Every  unfortunate  speech  should  be  recalled. 
One  should  formulate  fresh  replies,  that  lack  of 
poise  did  not  permit  us  to  make  at  the  time,  so 
that  under  similar  circumstances  we  may  not 
be  again  caught  at  a  disadvantage. 

The  witty  name  of  ''doorstep  repartee *'  has 
been  given  to  these  answers  which  one  makes 
as  afterthoughts,  with  the  idea  of  expressing 
the  embarrassment  of  the  man  who  can  find  no 
arguments  until  he  finds  himself  beyond  the 
reach  of  his  opponents.  It  is  after  one  has  gone 
out,  when  one  is  on  the  doorstep,  that  one  sud- 
denly recognizes  what  one  ought  to  have  said, 
and  finds  the  phrases  that  one  should  have  used, 


FOR  OBTAINING  POISE 


115 


the  exact  retort  that  one  might  have  hurled  at 
one's  antagonist. 

The  man  who  has  acquired  poise  should  still 
accustom  himself  to  practise  this  force  of  mental 
gymnastics  when  making  his  daily  self-exami- 
nation. 

It  will  strengthen  him  for  future  contests  by 
teaching  him  just  how  to  conduct  himself. 

He  must  be  always  on  his  guard  against  one 
of  the  obsessions  that  too  often  afflict  the  timid 
— the  mania  for  extremes. 

The  nature  of  a  timid  person  is  essentially 
artificial.    His  character  is  unequal. 

He  yearns  for  perfection,  yet  it  is  painful 
for  him  to  meet  it  in  others.  He  suffers  also 
because  he  has  failed  to  acquire  it  himself. 

Sometimes  he  is  his  own  most  severe  judge  and 
then  on  other  occasions  he  is  grossly  indulgent 
to  his  faults. 

His  isolation  causes  him  to  construct  ideals 
that  can  not  possibly  be  realized  in  ordinary 
life.  But  he  is  more  than  ready  to  blame  those 
who  fall  short  of  them,  while  making  no  effort 
to  duplicate  their  struggles. 

He  makes  the  sad  mistake,  as  we  have  seen 
in  the  chapter  on  effrontery,  of  taking  all  his 
chimeras  for  realities  and  is  angry  at  his  in- 


116     POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 


ability  to  make  other  people  see  them  in   the 
same  light. 

He  is,  moreover,  of  a  very  trustful  disposition 
and  prone  to  the  making  of  confidences.  But 
when  he  attempts  them  his  infirmity  prevents 
him  and  he  suffers  under  the  inhibition. 

All  his  mental  processes,  as  we  have  seen, 
tend  toward  hypochondria,  unless  his  sense  of 
truth  can  be  called  into  play. 

One  can  easily  see  then  that  this  daily  self- 
examination  can  be  made  quite  a  difficult  affair 
by  all  these  conflicting  tendencies. 

It  is  for  this  very  reason  that  it  is  so  neces- 
sary that  this  examination  should  be  rigorously 
undertaken  every  day  and  with  all  the  good  faith 
of  which  we  are  possest. 

It  is  because  they  do  not  ignore  their  own 
weaknesses  that  the  men  endowed  with  poise 
become  what  one  has  psychologically  termed 
*' forces,''  that  is  to  say  people  who  are  masters 
of  a  power  that  renders  them  superior  to  the 
rest  of  the  world. 

RESOLUTION 

After  as  minute  and  as  honest  an  examina- 
tion as  we  can  make  of  our  own  actions,  it  will 
be  of  great  benefit  to  make  definite  resolutions 
for  the  morrow. 


FOR  OBTAINING  POISE 


117 


This  is  a  matter  of  great  importance. 

The  timid  man,  by  seriously  resolving  to  per- 
form the  actions  that  he  ought  and  by  planning 
the  accomplishment  of  some  definite  step,  will 
unconsciously  strengthen  his  own  will-power. 

He  will  increase  it  still  more  by  making  up 
his  mind  to  leave  no  stone  unturned  to  conquer 
himself. 

For  instance,  he  proposes  to  make  a  certain 
journey,  or  to  pay  a  certain  call,  which  he 
dreads  very  much,  and  falls  asleep  while  repeat- 
ing to  himself :  '* To-morrow  I  will  go  there!  I 
will  carry  the  thing  through  with  assurance!'* 

Conceding  the  magnetic  power  of  words,  the 
acquisition  of  courage  and  of  confidence  are 
necessary  corollaries. 

Ideas  imprest  upon  the  mind  at  the  moment 
that  one  is  falling  asleep  develop  during  the 
night  by  a  species  of  incubation,  and  on  the 
morrow  present  themselves  to  us  quite  naturally 
in  the  guise  of  a  duty  much  less  hard  to  per- 
form than  we  had  imagined. 

In  the  case  where  such  a  resolution  awakens 
an  unpleasant  emotion  in  the  hearts  of  the  timid, 
they  should  repeat  earnestly  the  sentences  that 
tend  to  composure  and  should  seek  the  aid  of 
the  means  we  have  indicated  for  attaining  it. 


118     POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

PREPARATION 

In  order  to  strengthen  one^s  resolution  it  is 
a  good  thing  every  morning  to  map  out  one^s 
day,  for  the  purpose  of  acquiring  poise. 

All  one^s  combinations  should  be  worked  out 
with  this  valuable  conquest  in  mind. 

After  having  committed  oneself  to  a  definite 
plan,  one  should  analyze  each  one  of  the  pro- 
posed steps,  carefully  taking  into  account  all 
the  peculiarities  that  are  likely  to  characterize 
them. 

If  one  is  to  have  an  interview,  one  should 
carefully  prepare  one's  introductory  remarks, 
paying  particular  attention  to  one's  line  of 
action,  to  one's  method  of  presentation,  and  the 
words  upon  which  one  relies  to  obtain  an  affirm- 
ative reply  to  one's  request. 

One  should  take  the  precaution  to  have  one's 
speeches  mentally  prepared  in  advance,  so  as  to 
be  able  to  deliver  them  in  such  a  speedy  and 
convincing  fashion  that  one  does  not  find  one- 
self in  a  state  of  embarrassment  fatal  to  recol- 
lecting them. 

It  is  better  to  make  them  as  short  as  possible 
One  is  then  much  less  likely  to  become  confused 
and  will  not  be  so  much  in  dread  of  stammering 


" 


i< 


^ 


FOR  OBTAINING  POISE 


119 


or  stuttering,  which  are  always  accompaniments 
of  the  fear  of  being  left  without  an  idea  of  what 
to  say  next. 

Besides  this,  long  speeches  are  always  irrita* 
ting,  and  it  is  a  sign  of  great  lack  of  address  to 
allow  oneself  to  acquire  the  reputation  of  being 
a  bore. 

To  make  sure  of  one's  facial  expression  and 
gestures  it  may  be  well  to  repeat  one 's  speeches 
in  front  of  a  mirror. 

One  can  then  enact  one's  entry  into  the  room 
in  such  a  way  as  to  foresee  even  the  most  in- 
significant details,  so  that  the  fear  of  making  a 
failure  at  the  start  will  no  longer  have  a  bad 
effect  upon  one. 

We  have  heard  of  a  man  who  was  so  lacking 
in  poise  that  he  lost  his  situation  because,  when 
summoned  by  his  chief,  he  became  so  confused 
that  he  forgot  to  leave  his  streaming  umbrella 
in  the  outer  office. 

It  was  an  extremely  wet  day,  and  the  un- 
fortunate man,  instead  of  being  able  to  plead 
his  cause  effectively,  became  hopelessly  em- 
barrassed at  perceiving  his  mistake,  The  results 
of  which,  it  is  needless  to  state,  were  by  no  means 
to  the  benefit  of  the  floor. 

His  despair  at  the  sight  of  the  rivulets  that, 


120      POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

ninning  from  his  umbrella,  spread  themselves 
oyer  the  polished  surface  of  the  wood,  prevented 
him  from  thinking  of  anything  but  his  unpar- 
donable  stupidity.  His  native  awkwardness  be- 
came all  the  worse  at  this  and,  utterly  unable 
to  proffer  any  but  the  most  confused  excuses,  he 
fled  from  the  office  of  his  chief  leaving  the  latter 
in  a  high  state  of  irritation. 

He  was  replaced  by  some  one  else  at  the  first 
opportunity,  on  the  pretext  that  the  direction 
of  important  affairs  could  no  longer  be  left  in 
the  hands  of  a  man  of  such  notorious  incapacity. 
It  should  be  added  that  this  man  was  more 
than  ordinarily  intelligent  and  that  his  successor 
was  by  no  means  his  equal. 

It  is,  therefore,  absolutely  necessary  for  those 
who  are  lacking  in  presence  of  mind  to  accustom 
themselves  to  a  species  of  rehearsal  before  under- 
taking any  really  important  step. 

Does  this  imply  that  they  must  think  of  noth- 
ing but  weighty  affairs  and  neglect  occasions  for 
social  meetings? 

By  no  means.  To  those  who  are  distrustful 
of  themselves  every  occasion  is  a  pretext  for 
avoiding  action. 

They  should,  therefore,  take  pains  to  seek 
every  possible  opportunity  of  cultivating  poise. 


FOR  OBTAINING  POISE  121 

The  entering  of  a  theater;  the  walking  into 
a  drawing-room;  the  acknowledging  of  a  wo- 
man^s  bow;  every  one  of  these  -hings  should  be 
for  them  a  subject  of  careful  study,  and  if 
when  evening  comes,  the  daily  self-examination 
leaves  them  satisfied  with  themselves,  it  will  be 
a  cause  of  much  encouragement  to  them. 

If,  on  the  other  hand,  they  have  received  a 
rebuff  due  to  their  lack  of  poise,  they  should 
carefully  examine  into  the  reasons  for  this,  in 
order  to  guard  against  such  an  occurrence  in 
the  future. 

A  good  preparatory  exercise  is  to  choose  those 
of  our  friends  whose  homes  are  unpretentious 
and  who  have  few  callers. 

Let  us  make  up  our  minds  to  pay  them  a 
visit,  which,  in  view  of  the  quietude  of  its  asso- 
ciations, is  not  likely  to  awaken  in  us  any  grave 
emotions. 

To  carry  this  off  well  we  should  make  all  our 
preparations  in  advance. 

One  should  say  to  oneself:  ''I  will  enter  like 
this,''  while  rehearsing  one's  entrance,  so  as 
not  to  be  caught  napping  at  the  outset. 

One  should  go  on  to  plan  one's  opening  re- 
marks, an  easy  enough  matter  since  one  will  be 
speaking  to  people  one  knows  very  well. 


12£     POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 


One  should  then  decide  as  to  the  length  of 
one's  call. 

One  makes  ud  one's  mind,  for  instance,  to  get 
up  and  say  good-by  at  the  end  of  a  quarter  of 
an  hour. 

One  should  foresee  the  rejoinder  of  one's 
host,  whether  sincere  or  merely  polite,  which 
will  urge  one  to  prolong  one's  visit,  and  for  this 
purpose  should  have  ready  a  plausible  excuse, 
such  as  work  to  do  or  a  business  engagement, 
and  one  should  prepare  beforehand  the  phrase 
explaining  this. 

Finally,  one  should  study  to  make  one's  good- 
bys  gracefully. 

It  might  be  as  well,  while  we  are  at  it,  to 
prepare  a  subject  of  conversation. 

Generally  speaking,  the  events  of  the  day  form 
the  topic  of  discussion  on  such  visits,  whose 
good-will  does  not  always  prevent  a  certain 
amount  of  boredom. 

It  will  be,  then,  an  easy  matter  to  prepare  a 
few  remarks  on  the  happenings  of  the  day,  on 
the  plays  that  are  running,  or  on  the  salient 
occurrences  of  the  week. 

It  should  be  added  that  these  remarks  should 
express  opinions  of  such  a  nature  as  not  to 
wound  anybody's  feelings. 


FOR  OBTAINING  POISE 


1«8 


The  man  who  seeks  the  conquest  of  poise  will 
not  expose  himself  to  the  risk  of  being  involved 
in  a  discussion  in  which  he  will  be  compelled 
either  to  remain  silent  or  to  make  an  exhibition 
of  himself. 

To  do  this  would  be  to  strike  a  serious  blow 
at  his  resolution  to  persevere. 

The  one  idea  of  the  aspirant  to  poise  should 
be  above  all  things  never  to  risk  a  failure. 

Such  a  check  will  rarely  be  a  partial  one.  It 
will  have  a  marked  effect  upon  his  proposed  plan 
of  educating  his  will-power  by  again  giving  rise 
to  that  confusion  which  is  always  lurking  in 
the  background  of  the  thoughts  of  the  timid  and 
which  is,  moreover,  the  source  of  all  their  ills. 

Another  wise  precaution  consists  in  foreseeing 
objections  and  in  preparing  such  answers  as  will 
enable  one  to  refute  them. 

Eloquence  is  one  of  the  most  useful  achieve- 
ments of  poise ;  it  is  also  the  gift  that  best  aids 
one  to  acquire  it. 

It  is,  therefore,  indispensable  to  train  oneself 
to  speak  in  a  refined  and  correct  manner. 

The  man  who  is  sure  of  his  oratorical  powers 
will  never  be  at  a  loss.  He  will  find  conviction 
growing  while  he  seeks  to  create  it. 

We  spoke  in  the  preceding  chapter  of  the 


1£4      POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

mechanical  exercises  necessary  to  make  speak- 
ing an  easy  matter. 

We  must  not  forget,  however,  that  before  one 
can  speak  one  has  to  think. 

Words  will  spring  of  themselves  to  our  lips 
the  moment  we  have  a  definite  conception  of  the 
idea  they  serve  to  present.  As  a  proof  of  this 
contention  one  has  only  to  cite  the  case  of  those 
persons  who,  while  ordinarily  experiencing  great 
difficulty  in  expressing  themselves,  become  sud- 
denly clear,  persuasive,  and  even  eloquent  when 
it  comes  to  discussing  a  subject  in  which  they 
are  deeply  interested. 

The  study  of  the  art  of  speaking  will  become, 
then,  for  people  of  timidity,  over  and  above 
the  mechanical  exercises  that  we  have  prescribed 
in  a  former  chapter,  a  profound  analysis  of  the 
subject  upon  which  they  are  likely  to  be  called 
upon  to  express  themselves. 

One  should  strive  to  describe  things  in  short 
sentences  as  elegantly  phrased  as  possible. 

When  the  idea  we  wish  to  convey  seems  to 
be  exprest  in  a  confused  fashion,  one  should  not 
hesitate  to  seek  for  a  change  of  phraseology  that 
will  make  it  more  concise  and  clear. 

But  above  all — above  all,  we  must  pull  our- 
selves up  short  and  begin  over  again   if  any 


FOR  OBTAINING  POISE 


125 


' 


tendency  to  stammer,  to  hesitate,  or  to  become 
confused,  begins  to  manifest  itself. 

Just  as  soon  as  one  feels  more  at  one's  ease  one 
can  seek  to  put  in  practise  all  these  special  studies. 

Nothing  is  quite  so  disconcerting  as  the  idea 
of  stammering  or  stopping  short. 

For  this  reason  it  is  imperative  that  one  should 
begin  all  over  again  the  moment  such  an  accident 
occurs. 

This  is  what  prevents  timid  people  from 
accomplishing  anything.  From  the  moment  of 
the  first  failure  they  become  panic-stricken  and 
can  no  longer  go  on  speaking  connectedly. 

Those  who  would  acquire  poise  must  act  quite 
otherwise. 

Instead  of  avoiding  occasions  of  speaking  in 
public,  they  should  seek  for  them.  But  first  of 
all  they  must  make  some  trials  upon  audiences 
who  are  in  sympathy  with  them. 

They  should  experiment  upon  their  own  fami- 
lies and  should  never  fail  to  enlarge  upon  their 
theme.  If  need  be,  they  can  prepare  the  matter 
for  a  short  address  or  a  friendly  argument. 

If  they  find  themselves  stammering  or  panic- 
stricken,  they  must  strive  to  recall  the  phrase 
that  caused  the  trouble  and  endeavor  to  repeat  it 
very  emphatically  without  stuttering. 


126     POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

For  the  rest,  it  is  always  a  dangerous  thing 
to  talk  too  fast.  Words  that  are  pronounced 
more  slowly  are  always  much  better  articulated, 
and  in  speaking  leisurely  one  is  more  likely  to 
avoid  the  embarrassment  in  talking  that  attacks 
those  whose  education  in  the  direction  of  the 
acquiring  of  poise  is  not  yet  complete. 

One  of  the  most  important  exercises  in  the 
search  for  poise  consists  in  accustoming  oneself 
to  speak  slowly  and  very  distinctly. 

If  one  stammers  in  the  least  degree,  especially 
if  this  fault  is  due  to  nervousness,  one  should 
begin  again  at  the  word  which  caused  the 
trouble,  pronouncing  each  syllable  slowly  and 
distinctly.  Then  one  should  incorporate  it  in 
one  or  two  sentences  and  should  not  cease  to 
utter  it  until  one  can  enunciate  it  clearly  and 
without  any  trouble. 

In  order  to  combine  theory  with  practise,  one 
should  seek  opportunities  for  entering  public 
assemblies,  striving  to  do  so  without  awkward- 
ness. 

One  should  choose  the  time  when  the  audience 
is  not  yet  fully  arrived,  since,  unless  one  is  very 
sure  of  oneself,  it  is  a  risky  matter  to  appear 
upon  the  scene  when  the  house  is  full,  or  the 
guests  for  the  most  part  assembled.    By  this 


FOR  OBTAINING  POISE  127 

means  one  is  much  more  likely  to  be  able  to 
emerge  victorious  from  the  ordeal  of  the  stares 

of  the  curious. 

The  man  endowed  with  poise  enters  a  gather- 
ing politely  yet  indifferently,  ordering  his  man- 
ner not  to  suit  the  particular  occasion  but  as  a 
matter  of  instinct.  He  will  go  naturally  to  those 
whom  he  happens  to  know,  will  shake  hands  with 
them,  and  will  say  to  each  one  the  thing  that  he 

ought  to  say. 

If  a  mother  he  will  ask  news  of  her  children. 
He  will  offer  congratulations  to  the  man  who  has 
just  been  publicly  honored.    Presence  of  mind 
will  not  desert  him  for  a  moment ;  he  will  com- 
mit no  blunders.    He  will  avoid  the  necessity 
of  meeting  a  former  friend  with  whom  he  has 
fallen  out  and  will  pass  him  without  speaking. 
He  will  not  talk  of  deformities  to  a  man  who  is 
deformed.     In  a  word,  his  poise,  while  leaving 
him  free  to  exercise  all  his  faculties,  will  give 
him  the  opportunity  to  remember  a  thousand 
details,  the  performance  as  well  as  the  omission 
of  which  will  create  much  sympathetic  feeling 
toward  him  among  the  people  whom  he  meets.  ^ 

The  man  who  does  not  yet  possess  poise,  will 
be  wise  if  he  follows  the  recommendations  we 
have  made,  that  is  by  preparing  his  speeches  to 
i.e 


us     POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

be  made  upon  entering.  In  those  cases  where 
he  is  not  absolutely  sure  of  the  relationship  of 
people  or  of  the  condition  of  health  of  the  per- 
son to  whom  he  is  speaking,  he  had  better  avoid 
these  topics.  Silence  is  not  infrequently  an 
indication  of  poise. 

THE   THOUGHT  OF   SUCCESS 

But  to  emerge  successfully  from  all  these 
difficulties,  one  must  believe  that  one  can  do  it, 
banishing  absolutely  from  one's  mind  the  doubt, 
that,  like  leprosy,  attacks  the  most  well-made 
resolutions,  transforming  them  into  hurtful  in- 
decision. 

The  mere  thought,  ''7  will  succeed/'  is  in 
itself  a  condition  of  success.  The  man  who  pro- 
nounces these  words  with  absolute  belief  implies 
this  sentence:  **I  will  succeed  because  I  will 
succeed  and  because  I  am  determined  to  employ 
every  legitimate  means  to  that  end!" 

Avoid  also  all  grieving  or  melancholy  over 
past  failures,  or,  if  you  must  be  occupied  with 
them,  let  it  be  without  mingling  bitterness  with 
your  regrets. 

Say  to  yourself:  **It  is  true.  I  failed  in  that 
nndertaking.     But  from  this  moment  I  propose 


FOR  OBTAINING  POISE 


129 


to  think  of  it  merely  to  remind  myself  of  the 
reasons  why  I  failed. 

*'I  wish  to  analyze  them  sincerely,  while  re- 
cognizing where  I  was  in  the  wrong,  so  that 
under  similar  circumstances  I  can  avoid  the 
repetition  of  the  same  mistakes.'* 

Fools  and  knaves  are  the  only  people  wha 
complain  of  fate. 

The  words  **I  have  no  luck''  should  be  erased 
altogether  from  the  vocabulary  of  the  man  who 
proposes  to  acquire  poise. 

It  is  the  excuse  in  which  weaklings  and  cow- 
ards indulge. 

Timid  people  are  always  complaining  of  the 
injustice  of  fate,  without  stopping  to  think  that 
they  have  themselves  been  the  direct  causes  of 
their  own  failures. 

The  violet  has  often  been  quoted— and  very 
improperly— as  an  example  of  shrinking  mod- 
esty which  it  would  be  well  to  imitate. 

It  does  not  in  the  least  trouble  the  phrase- 
makers  and  the  followers  of  the  ideas  that  they 
have  spread  broadcast  through  the  world  that 
the  violet  which  hides  timidly  behind  its  shelter- 
ing leaves  nearly  always  dies  unnoticed,  and  that 
it  is  in  most  cases  anemic  and  faded  in  color. 
The  type  that  wins  the  admiration  of  tlie  world 


130      POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

is  that,  which,  disengaging  itself  from  its  leafy 
shield,  springs  up  with  a  bound  above  its  green 
foliage  just  as  men  of  poise  rise  triumphantly 
above  the  accidents  and  the  petty  details  which 
bury  the  timid  under  their  heavy  fronds. 

If  one  were  minded  to  carry  out  the  com- 
parison properly,  it  is  far  more  exact  to  liken 
the  timid  to  these  degenerate  flowers,  which  are 
indebted  to  the  shade  in  which  they  hide  for 
their  puny  and  abortive  appearance. 

The  timid  have  then  no  sort  of  excuse  for 
complaining  of  their  ill-luck. 

To  begin  with,  it  is  to  their  own  defects  solely 
that  their  obscurity  is  due. 

Furthermore,  by  ceaselessly  complaining,  they 
gradually  become  absorbed  by  these  ideas  of  ill- 
fortune,  which  grow  to  be  their  accomplices  in 
their  detestation  of  effort  and  suggest  to  them 
the  thought  of  attempting  nothing  upon  the  ab- 
surd pretext  that  nothing  they  do  can  succeed. 

One  must  add  here — and  this  is  extremely  im- 
portant— that  in  acting  in  this  way  they  always 
manage  to  provoke  the  hostile  forces  that  are 
dormant  in  everything  and  that  array  them- 
selves the  more  readily  against  such  people  be- 
cause of  their  lack  of  the  resolution  to  combat 
them  and  the  energy  to  overcome  them. 


FOR  OBTAINING  POISE 


131 


This  is  the  reason  why  people  who  are  gifted 
with  poise  find  themselves  better  qualified  than 
others  to  succeed. 

Their  faith  is  so  beautiful  and  so  convincing 
that  it  compels  conviction  in  others  and  seems 
to  be  able  to  dominate  events. 

It  is  by  no  means  an  illusion  to  believe  in  the 
worth  of  this  confidence.  People  to  whom  it  is 
given  become  of  the  most  wonderful  help  to 
others,  their  faith  aiding  and  sustaining  that  of 
those  who  have  resolved  to  make  an  effort. 

However  strong  the  soul  of  man  may  be,  it 
is  nevertheless  subject  to  hours  of  discourage- 
ment, to  moments  of  despair,  in  which  some  com- 
fort and  sympathy  are  needed. 

The  man  of  resolution  will  recover  from  his 
failures  the  more  easily  the  more  certain  he  is 
that  he  has  created  in  those  about  him  an  atmos- 
phere of  friendliness  which  will  not  allow  his 
defeats  to  be  made  public. 

As  mists  are  dispelled  at  the  approach  of  the 
sun,  the  agony  of  doubt  will  disappear  in  the 
genial  warmth  of  the  encouragement  and  the 
confidence  that  his  poise  and  self-reliance  have 
built  up  in  those  around  him,  and  a  sure  faith 
will  be  given  to  him,  the  certain  and  faithful 
guide  to  the  road  that  leads  onward  to  success. 


CHAPTER  V 


THE    SUPREME    ACHIEVEMENT 

One  must  be  most  careful  not  to  credit  one- 
self with  the  possession  of  poise  while  one  is 
unable  to  encounter  reverses  without  loss  of 
serenity. 

Every  setback  of  this  sort  must  be  judged 
without  bias  and  the  proper  measures  must  be 
taken  to  prevent  its  recurrence. 

Every  exuberant  gesture,  as  well  as  every  con- 
strained and  abortive  movement,  must  be  the 
object  of  redoubled  attention. 

This  is  the  stumbling-block  that  brings  so 
many  timid  people  to  grief.  They  imagine  that 
they  have  achieved  the  conquest  of  poise,  while 
they  are  really  only  deceiving  themselves  by  the 
idea  that  they  are  giving  a  good  illustration  of  it. 
They  become  the  victims  of  a  peculiar  type  of 
delusion  akin  to  that  of  the  cowards  who  deliber- 
ately invite  danger  while  trembling  in  every 
limb. 

The  very  fear  of  being  considered  cowards 
causes  them  to  plunge  into  it  blindly  without 

132 


THE  SUPREME  ACHIEVEMENT    133 

taking  the  trouble  to  reflect.  They  always  over- 
shoot the  mark,  exposing  themselves  quite  use- 
lessly and  achieving  a  result  that  is  entirely 
valueless  to  themselves  or  any  one  else. 

The  man  who  is  really  master  of  himself  will 
avoid  such  foolish  undertakings,  retaining  his 
powers  for  those  that  are  likely  to  bear  fruit, 
whatever  the  quality  of  the  success  may  be. 

It  is  an  act  of  folly  to  deny  the  possibility  of 
success  because  one  is  discouraged  at  the  very 
first  obstacle. 

The  greatest  triumphs  are  never  achieved 
without  a  struggle.  The  man  who  obtains  them 
does  so  only  by  virtue  of  the  experience  gained 
by  repeated  efforts,  none  of  which  bore  for  him 
the  fruit  he  desired. 

The  better  is  merely  a  step  along  the  road  to 

the  best. 

Perfection  is,  therefore,  the  result  of  many 

half  successes. 

If  one  could  hope  to  arrive  at  one  stride  at 
one's  desired  goal  one's  efforts  would  be  of  no 
value,  and  mediocrity  would  very  soon  become 
the  sole  characteristic  of  those  who  were  possest 
by  this  idea.  The  man  who  has  had  the  wit  to 
acquire  poise  will  guard  himself  carefully  from 
falling  into  the  error  of  the  timid,  who,  haunted 


134     POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

by  an  unappeased  longing  for  perfection,  lose 
their  courage  at  the  first  attempt. 

Does  this  imply  that  idealism  must  be  ban- 
ished from  the  thoughts  of  the  man  of  reso- 
lution 1 

Not  at  all,  if  by  the  word  ideal  one  under- 
stands what  it  actually  means. 

A  false  meaning  has  been  given  to  this  word 
which  has  warped  it  from  its  original  sense. 

The  ideal  is  not,  as  many  people  seem  to  think, 
an  impossible  dream  indulged  in  only  by  poets, 
and  that  has  no  active  basis  of  reality. 

Lazy  people  abuse  this  word,  which  to  their 
minds  allows  them  to  indulge  without  shame  in 
idle  dreams  that  foster  their  indolence. 

The  timid  drape  it  about  themselves  like  a 
curtain,  behind  which  they  take  refuge  and  in 
whose  shadow  they  conceal  themselves,  thinking 
by  so  doing  to  keep  the  vanity  which  obsesses 
them  from  being  wounded. 

Devotees  of  false  ideals  clothe  them  too  often 
with  the  tinsel  of  fond  illusion,  under  which 
guise  they  make  a  pretense  of  worshiping  them. 

The  true  ideal,  that  which  every  man  can 
carry  in  his  heart,  is  something  much  more 
tangible  and  matter  of  fact. 

For  one  it  is  worldly  success. 


THE  SUPREME  ACHIEVEMENT    135 

For  another  renown  and  glory. 

For  men  of  action  it  is  the  end  for  which  they 
strive. 

The  ideal  which  each  man  should  cultivate  and 
.strive  after  need  by  no  means  be  a  narrow  aim. 

It  is  an  aspiration  of  which  the  loftiness  is 
in  no  way  affected  by  the  lowliness  of  the  means 
employed  to  realize  it. 

This  word  has  too  often  been  misused  and 
exaggerated  in  the  effort  to  distort  it  from  its 
philosophical  meaning. 

In  every  walk  of  life,  no  matter  how  humble, 
it  is  possible  to  follow  an  ideal. 

It  is  not  an  aim,  to  speak  exactly,  but  still 
less  is  it  a  dream.  It  is  an  aspiration  toward 
something  better  that  subordinates  all  our  acts 
to  this  one  dominant  desire. 

Every  realization  tends  to  the  development  of 
the  ideal,  which  is  increased  in  beauty  by  each 
partial  attainment. 

We  have  just  said  that  the  ideal  of  some  men 
is  the  acquisition  of  a  fortune.  It  might  be 
supposed,  therefore,  that  such  people,  once  they 
have  become  rich,  will  abandon  their  aspirations 
for  something  more. 

The  man  who  has  this  idea  is  very  much  in  the 
wrong. 


I 


136      POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

The  state  of  being  permanently  wealthy  is 
one  that  opens  new  horizons,  hitherto  closed. 
The  doing  of  good,  charity,  the  desire  to  better 
the  condition  of  those  who  still  have  to  struggle, 
these  will  constitute  a  higher  and  a  no  less 
attractive  ideal. 

This  does  not  take  into  consideration  the  in- 
stinct, innate  in  every  heart — and  that  the 
genius  of  the  race  has  made  a  part  of  every  one 
of  us — the  desire  of  progressing. 

It  is  this  desire  that  forms  the  ideal  of  fathers 
of  families,  building  up  the  futures  of  their 
children,  in  whom  they  see  not  only  their  imme- 
diate successors,  but  those  who  are  to  continue 
their  race,  which  they  wish  to  be  a  strong  and 
virile  one,  in  obedience  to  the  eternal  desire  for 
perpetuating  themselves  that  haunts  the  hearts 
of  men. 

It  is  quite  evident  that  each  gain  has  no  need 
of  being  complete  to  bear  fruit.  The  thing  to 
do  is  to  multiply  it,  to  make  something  more 
of  it,  and  to  take  it  home  to  ourselves,  in  order 
to  achieve  the  ultimate  result  that  is  termed 
success. 

The  man  of  resolution  appreciates  this  fact 
perfectly,  rejoicing  in  every  victory  and  taking 
each  defeat  as  a  means  for  gaining  experience 


THE  SUPREME  ACHIEVEMENT    137 

that  he  will  be  able  to  use  to  his  advantage  when 
the  occasion  arises. 

The  man  of  timidity,  on  the  other  hand, 
haunted  by  this  desire  for  perfection,  cut  off  by 
his  very  aloofness  from  all  chance  of  learning 
the  lesson  of  events,  will  be  so  thoroughly  dis- 
couraged at  the  first  check,  that  he  will  draw 
back  from  any  similar  experience,  preferring  to 
take  refuge  in  puerile  grumbling  against  the 
contrariety  of  things  in  general. 

This  attitude  of  mind  can  not  outlast  a  few 
minutes  of  sensible  reflection. 

We  wish  to  convey  by  the  use  of  this  term  the 
idea  of  a  process  of  thought  quite  free  from 
those  vague  dreams  which  are  the  sure  indica- 
tions of  feebleness,  reveries  in  which  things  ap- 
pear to  us  in  a  guise  which  is  by  no  means  that 
which  they  really  possess. 

The  main  characteristic  of  this  state  of  mind 
is  to  exaggerate  one's  disappointments  while 
ignoring  one's  moments  of  happiness. 

It  approximates  very  closely  to  the  old  fable 
of  the  crumpled  rose-leaf  breaking  the  rest  of  the 
sybarite  on  his  couch  of  silk. 

He  has  no  thought  of  taking  satisfaction  or 
pleasure  in  the  luxury  that  surrounds  him.  He 
does  not  congratulate  himself  on  his  wealth,  nor 


) 


138     POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 


upon  the  comforts  he  possesses  and  that  he  values 
so  highly.  He  thinks  of  nothing  but  the  little 
crumpled  petal  which  causes  him  imaginary  dis- 
tress, and  all  his  faculties  are  absorbed  by  this 
petty  detail. 

The  man  of  resolve  will  pay  no  attention  to 
such  trifles  as  this.  They  will  touch  him  not  at 
all  unless  they  assume  the  role  of  the  grain  of 
sand  in  the  working-parts  of  a  machine,  which 
prevents  it  from  running.  He  is  wise  enough 
to  be  able  to  estimate  a  situation  sensibly,  taking 
account  of  the  drawbacks  but  at  the  same  time 
realizing  all  the  advantages  that  accrue  from  it. 

At  these  advantages  he  will  be  pleased  and 
will  seek  to  get  the  maximum  of  good  out  of 
each  one  of  them.  If  he  thinks  of  the  disad- 
vantages at  all,  it  will  be  merely  in  order  to 
find  a  way  to  diminish  them  and  to  rob  thfem  of 
their  power  to  harm  him. 

Such  are  the  benefits  of  reflection  and  of  con- 
centration which,  when  practised  in  a  rational 
manner,  will  do  more  than  anything  else  to  help 
one  to  the  attainment  of  poise. 

"Weak  indulgence  toward  one's  own  failings 
will  be  rejected  by  the  strong.  To  know  one- 
self thoroughly  is  a  good  way  to  improve  oneself, 
and  the  knowledge  that  one  is  not  mistaken  as 


THE  SUPREME  ACHIEVEMENT    139 


to  one's  actual  merits  is  of  considerable  help  in 
acquiring  poise. 

It  is  for  this  reason  that  the  habit  of  daily 
self-examination,  that  we  recommended  in  the 
preceding  chapter,  develops,  in  the  man  who 
submits  himself  to  it,  faculties  of  judgment  so 
keen  that  it  is  an  easy  matter  for  him  to  become 
his  own  educator  in  the  path  to  betterment. 

One  great  disadvantage  of  lack  of  proper 
concentration  is  that  it  gives  to  the  subject  one 
is  anxious  to  study  an  importance  greater  than 
it  really  has. 

Passion  is  too  often  an  accompaniment  of  this 
form  of  reflection,  emotions  are  aroused,  and  the 
nerves  become  active  factors  in  distorting  the 
real  meanings  and  value  of  the  things  we  are 
considering. 

The  remedy  in  this  case  is  a  very  simple  one. 
An  effort  of  will,  will  readily  banish  the  subject 
which  is  causing  us  too  profound  emotion  by 
the  simple  process  of  turning  the  thoughts  to 
some  subject  that  will  cause  us  no  such  disturb- 
ances. 

Later  on,  when  the  emotions  of  the  moment 
have  passed,  one  can  return  to  the  former  train 
of  thought,  forcing  oneself  to  examine  it  with 
calmness. 


140     POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

Some  amount  of  practise  will  be  needed  to 
acquire  this  mastery  of  one's  thoughts,  the 
parent  of  poise,  which  is  nothing  more  than 
courage  based  upon  solid  reason. 

It  may  happen  that  the  desire  to  follow  a  line 
of  thought  that  causes  us  excessive  emotion  may 
lead  to  the  inroad  of  a  horde  of  secondary  ideas, 
which  press  one  upon  the  other  without  any  per- 
ceptible continuity,  carrying  with  them  neither 
conviction  nor  illumination. 

Reveries  of  this  sort  are  dangerous  enemies  of 
poise.  They  lead  one  nowhere,  and  create  in 
us  habits  which  are  not  controlled  by  reason  or 

common  sense. 

If  such  thoughts  should  assail  us,  the  sole 
means  of  avoiding  injury  from  them  is  to  re- 
pulse them  instantly,  the  moment  one  becomes 
conscious  of  them,  and  to  banish  the  chaos  of 
scattered  fancies  by  devoting  one's  whole  mind 
to  a  single  dominant  thought  that  should  be 
associated  with  the  determination  to  obtain  the 
mastery  over  oneself. 

We  have  already  suggested  to  the  timid  the 
advantage  of  foreseeing  the  objections  that  are 
likely  to  be  made  to  what  they  may  say.  The 
mere  fact  that  they  have  already  formulated  a 


THE  SUPREME  ACHIEVEMENT    141 

mental  answer  will  be  a  great  assistance  to  the 
making  of  a  successful  retort. 

To  avoid  still  further  risks  of  being  confronted 
by  a  contradiction  that  may  put  them  at  a  loss, 
they  will  do  well  to  adopt  the  following  plan. 

Let  them  put  themselves  in  the  place  of  the 
person  to  whom  they  plan  to  speak  and  then 
ask  themselves  if,  under  these  circumstances, 
they  will  not  find  some  objection  to  offer  to  the 
proposition  concerned. 

If  they  discover  by  this  means  that,  in  his 
place,  they  would  be  likely  to  find  such  and  such 
difficulties,  it  must  be  with  this  fact  in  their 
minds  that  they  devote  themselves  to  the  better 
preparation  of  their  arguments  or,  if  necessary, 
to  modifying  the  force  if  not  the  content  of  the 
reasoning  upon  which  they  rely  to  carry  con- 
viction. 

These  objections,  as  we  have  already  advised, 
should  be  uttered  aloud,  so  that  we  may  the 
better  perceive  their  logic,  and  also  to  allow  of 
our  repeating  them  a  second  time,  the  ability  to 
accomplish  which  will  be  a  great  encouragement 
to  us. 

There  is  no  reason,  in  fact,  for  believing  that 
we  can  not  repeat  on  the  morrow,  just  as  per- 
fectly as  we  have  exprest  it  to-day,  a  statement 


142      POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT       i 

that  we  have  made  with  clearness  both  of  reason- 
ing and  of  diction. 

Contact  with  men  and  with  affairs  should  be 
sought  after  by  the  aspirant  for  poise. 

He  will  be  the  gainer  by  watching  the  de- 
struction of  his  exaggerated  ideas  and  his  false 
conceptions,  which  have  all  arisen  from  solitary 

thought. 

An  essential  point  is  to  become  accustomed  to 

the  necessity  for  action. 

Far  from  avoiding  this,  one  should  seize  every 
occasion  to  utilize  it  to  one's  advantage. 

The  determined  student  should  even  create 
opportunity  for  so  doing,  which,  in  forcing  him 
to  break  down  his  reserve,  will  make  it  necessary 
for  him  to  come  to  definite  decisions  and  to  carry 

them  out. 

Every    chance    to    exhibit    real    and    honest 

activity  should  be  seized  by  him. 

Between  two  decisions,  equally  favorable  to 
him,  of  which  one  will  leave  him  to  his  peaceful 
retirement  and  the  other  will  involve  active 
measures,  he  should  not  hesitate  for  a  moment. 

He  will  make  choice  of  that  which  will  compel 
him  to  exhibit  physical  activity. 

It  is,  however,  important  that  manifestations 
of  purposeless  energy  should  be  rigidly  represt. 


THE  SUPREME  ACHIEVEMENT    14^ 

They  are  always  harmful  to  one's  equilibrium 
and  to  the  qualities  needed  for  the  attainment 

of  poise. 

One  should  never  forget  the  well-known  prov- 
erb: 

'* Speech  is  silver,  but  silence  is  golden." 

Silence,  in  a  vast  number  of  instances,  is  the 
indisputable  proof  of  the  empire  that  one  has 
over  oneself. 

To  be  able  to  keep  quiet  and  to  close  one's 
lips  until  the  moment  when  reflection  has  enabled 
us  to  discipline  our  too-violent  emotions,  is  a 
quality  that  belongs  only  to  those  who  have 
obtained  the  mastery  over  themselves. 

The  weak  become  excited,  indulge  in  protests, 
and  expend  themselves  in  angry  denunciations 
that  use  up  the  energy  they  should  retain  for 
active  measures. 

The  man  of  resolution  is  most  careful  not  to 
allow  it  to  be  known  at  what  point  he  has  been 
wounded.     He  keeps  silence  and  reflects. 

Resolves  form  within  his  mind  and,  when  he 
at  last  is  ready  to  speak,  it  is  to  utter  some  firm 
decision  or  to  put  forward  arguments  that  are 
unanswerable. 

To  tell  the  truth,  those  who  instantly  and 
noisily  voice  their  antagonisms,  who,  under  the 

1. 10 


144      POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

sting  of  a  hurt  to  their  vanity  indulge  in  threats 
of  violence,  are  actually  dangerous. 

Their  accusations,  dictated  by  anger  and 
heightened  by  the  sense  of  their  own  inferiority, 
are  always  characterized  by  impotence. 

They  make  people  smile,  provoke  perhaps  a 
little  pity,  but  never  cause  any  fear. 

They  are  like  the  toy  guns  of  children,  which 
have  the  air  of  being  most  deadly  weapons,  but 
which  are  constructed  of  such  fragile  materials 
that  a  vigorous  blow  will  cause  them  to  fall  to 
pieces. 

The  self-control  of  the  man  of  resolution  in  the 
face  of  insult  and  provocation  is  far  more  im- 
pressive than  these  idle  threats. 

His  silence  is  ominous.  It  is  a  sort  of  mechan- 
ical calm  which  produces  decisions  from  which 
all  passion  is  excluded. 

His  answers,  well  thought  out  and  adapted 
exactly  to  the  circumstances  of  the  case,  impress 
one  by  their  coldness  and  by  their  tone  of 
finality.  His  words  are  always  followed  by 
deeds,  and  are  the  more  weighty  for  the  fact  that 
one  knows  that  they  are  merely  preliminary  to 
the  actions  that  they  foretell. 

This  is  one  of  the  marked  advantages  of  those 
who  possess  poise,  one  of  various  methods  of 


THE  SUPREME  ACHIEVEMENT    145 

conquering  and  dominating  the  minds  of  others. 
There  are  other  strong  points  belonging  to 
those  who  cultivate  poise,  which,  judiciously 
employed,  unite  in  giving  them  an  incontestable 
superiority  over  the  majority  of  the  people  they 

meet. 

The  man  of  poise  will  not  be  overgay  or  too 
boisterous.  Still  less  will  he  be  taciturn.  Moody 
people  are  nearly  always  those  who  are  convinced 
of  their  own  lack  of  ability  and  quite  certain 
that  the  rest  of  the  world  is  in  a  conspiracy  to 
make  them  miserable. 

They  lack  all  pride  and  make  no  bones  about 
admitting  themselves  to  be  defeated. 

These,  we  must  admit,  are  rather  difficult  con- 
ditions in  which  to  effect  anything  worth  while. 

In  ''Timidity:  How  to  Overcome  It,"  M.  B. 
Dangennes  tells  us  that  one  day  a  party  of  men 
agreed  to  undertake  a  journey,  the  object  of 
which  was  to  attain  a  most  wonderful  country. 

*' There  were  a  great  many  of  them  at  the 
start,  but  only  a  few  days  had  passed  when 
their  ranks  became  sensibly  depleted. 

''Certain  members  of  the  party,  the  timid 
ones,  who  were  encumbered  with  a  load  of  use- 
less scruples,  soon  succumbed  to  the  weight  of 
their  burdens. 


146     POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

''Others,  the  fearful  ones,  became  panic- 
stricken  at  the  difficulties  they  encountered  in 
battling  with  the  earlier  stages  of  the  journey. 

''The  modest,  after  several  days'  marching, 
fell  to  the  rear,  from  fear  of  attracting  too  much 
attention,  and  were  very  soon  lost  sight  of. 

"The  careless,  wearied  by  their  efforts,  took 
to  resting  in  the  ditches  along  the  road,  and  ate 
all  their  store  of  provisions  for  the  journey  with- 
out worrying  at  all  about  the  time  when  they 
might  be  hungry. 

"The  braggarts  and  the  boasters,  after  exhib- 
iting a  temporary  enthusiasm,  gave  out  at  the 
first  dangers  encountered  on  the  march. 

"The  curious,  instead  of  striving  to  maintain 
the  courage  of  those  who  walked  at  the  head  of 
the  column,  kept  leading  them  into  difficulties,  in 
which  many  of  the  foremost  were  lost. 

"The  rash  were  greatly  reduced  in  numbers 
by  their  own  foolhardiness. 

"The  final  result  was  that  only  a  handful  of 
men,  after  many  weary  days  and  nights,  reached 
the  JBden  that  they  had  set  out  to  attain. 

"These  men  were  disciples  of  energy,  those 
to  whom  this  virtue  had  given  courage,  ambition, 
the  self-control  and  the  self-mastery  needed  to 
vanquish  and  overcome  the  perils  of  the  way; 


THE  SUPREME  ACHIEVEMENT   147 

those  who,  by  their  cool  and  courageous  bearing, 
had  been  able  to  impress  upon  their  companions, 
now  become  their  disciples,  the  indomitable 
hardihood   with    which    they   were    themselves 

filled.''  ,.  .        . 

We  see  in  this  fable  how  all  the  qualities  of 

poise  worked  together  for  the  accomplishment  of 

the  destined  end. 

First  courage,  which  must  not  be  confounded 
either  with  rashness  or  with  effrontery. 

Courage,  the  perfect  manifestation  of  confi- 
dence in  oneself. 

This  quality  is  at  the  bottom  of  all  great  enter- 
prises, of  which  all  the  risks,  however,  have  been 
carefully  considered  in  advance. 

The  man  of  courage  does  not  deceive  himself 
as  to  the  dangers  of  the  deeds  he  has  determined 
to  perform.  He  accepts  them  bravely.  He  has 
foreseen  them  all,  and  he  knows  how  to  act  in 
order  to  turn  them  to  his  own  advantage. 

The  coolness  characteristic  of  all  men  of  poise 
gives  them  the  power  of  estimating  wisely  how 
things  are  likely  to  turn  out. 

They  do  not  fail  to  appreciate  the  importance 
of  certain  circumstances,  to  realize  their  bear- 
ing, and  to  admit  the  dangers  to  which  they  may 
give  rise.    Thus  they  are  ready  for  the  fray  and 


148      POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

are  armed  at  all  points  for  a  well-considered 
defense. 

Shame  on  the  superficial  people  who  close 
their  eyes  in  order  not  to  see  the  obstacles  that 
their  own  lack  of  foresight  has  prevented  them 
from  anticipating. 

Let  us  press  back  the  timid;  declare  war  on 
the  boasters ;  show  our  contempt  for  the  inveter- 
ately  modest  (who  are  only  so  to  flatter  their 
own  vanity) ;  express  our  hatred  of  the  envious, 
who  are  always  incapable ;  distrust  the  slothful ; 
and  arm  ourselves  with  a  justifiable  pride,  which, 
by  imparting  to  us  a  sense  of  our  merits,  will 
enable  us  to  acquire  poise,  true  index  of  those 
who  are  legitimately  sure  of  themselves  and  are 
conscious  of  their  sterling  worth. 

But,  above  all,  let  us  raise  in  our  inmost  hearts 
a  temple  to  reason,  the  author  of  that  quiet  con- 
fidence that  makes  success  a  certainty. 

This  is  the  work  of  the  man  who  has  achieved 
the  conquest  of  poise.  It  is  the  one  particular 
evidence  of  this  priceless  quality. 

Poise,  by  inspiring  its  possessor  with  a  belief 
in  his  merits,  that  is  productive  of  good  reso- 
lutions, enables  him  to  employ  in  relation  to 
himself  the  fine  art  of  absolutely  sincere  rea- 
soning. 


THE  SUPREME  ACHIEVEMENT    149 

There  are,  as  is  well-known,  many  ways  of 
looking  at  things. 

Every  thing  has  several  sides  and,  in  accord- 
ance with  the  angle  at  which  we  examine  it, 
seems  to  us  more  or  less  favorable. 

The  superficial  man  only  sees  things,  and  only 
wants  to  see  them,  from  the  viewpoint  of  his  own 

desires. 

To  the  morose  man  all  their  contours  appear 

distorted. 

The  optimist,  on  the  contrary,  carefully 
changes  their  outlines. 

Only  to  the  man  who  makes  a  practise  of 
rational  thinking  comes  a  true  vision  of  both  the 
good  and  the  bad  that  exist  in  everything. 

This  science  of  reasoning  is  the  base  of  all 
deductive  processes,  that,  in  strengthening  the 
judgment,  aid  in  the  formation  of  poise. 

Without  reason  the  scaffolding  of  the  most 
splendid  resolves  falls  to  the  ground. 

Without  reason  we  wander  aimlessly  in  by- 
paths instead  of  following  the  broad  highway. 

Without  reason,  in  short,  we  become  guilty  of 
injustice,  not  only  toward  others,  but  still  more 
toward  ourselves,  since  we  can  not  form  a  cor- 
rect estimate  of  our  own  characters. 

It  is  reason  which  enables  us  to  choose  the 


150     POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 


liappy  mean  that  leaves  the  country  of  fear  to 
reach  the  goal  of  reserve,  and  follows  it  to  the 
extreme  limit  of  poise  without  ever  encroaching 
upon  the  territory  of  effrontery. 

It  is  poise  alone  that  enables  us  to  communi- 
cate to  others  the  qualities  which  we  possess. 

This  has  ever  been  the  gift  of  men  of  genius, 
of  those  who  could  enforce  their  doctrines  and 
impose  them  upon  others  by  the  sheer  strength 
of  their  attitude  and  the  way  in  which  they 
analyzed  and  reasoned  out  all  their  principles. 

What  conviction  can  he  hope  to  carry  to  his 
hearers  who  is  not  himself  persuaded  of  the 
truth  of  the  theories  he  is  presenting? 

This  is  the  condition  of  those  timid  people  who 
give  their  advice  in  the  same  tone  they  would  use 
to  ask  it. 

For  this  reason  they  never  become  expert. 
They  rarely  ever  taste  of  success  and  usually 
sink  into  a  state  of  discontent  and  envy. 

This  last  fault  is  nearly  always  indulged  in 
by  the  timid,  whom  it  soothes,  not  simply  be- 
cause of  its  maliciousness,  but  because  envy 
seems  to  them  to  condone  their  own  inertia  by 
giving  them  an  excuse  for  their  lack  of  action. 

For  people  of  mediocre  mentality  to  deny  the 
intelligence  of  others  is  to  bring  them   down 


THE  SUPREME  ACHIEVEMENT    161 

into  their  own  plane  and  saves  them  the  effort 
of  climbing  to  that  of  their  superiors. 

And  since  lack  of  sincerity  toward  themselves 
is  always  one  of  the  faults  of  those  who  are 
wanting  in  poise,  they  can  not  help  feeling  a 
sentiment  of  jealousy  toward  those  who  have 
succeeded  where  they  themselves  have  failed. 

Instead  of  doing  justice  without  bitterness  to 
the  superiority  of  others  by  a  determination  to 
imitate  it,  they  take  the  simpler  course  of  envy- 
ing the  good  fortune  of  their  neighbors  and 
attribute  it  all  to  luck. 

Whenever  you  hear  any  one  expatiating  upon 
what  he  calls  the  luck  of  some  one  else,  you  may 
be  sure  that  he  is  a  person  entirely  deficient  in 
those  qualities  which  could  attract  what  he  calls 
luck,  but  what  is  really,  in  the  majority  of  cases, 
merely  the  result  of  hard  work  based  upon  a 
reasoned  poise. 

Here  we  may  add  that  this  quality  is  often 
the  key  to  good  fortune,  since  it  permits  the 
head  of  a  family,  who  is  possest  of  it  to  establish 
about  him  sympathetic  currents,  based  upon  the 
confidence  that  he  inspires. 

It  is  a  matter  of  common  knowledge  how 
courage  communicates  itself  from  one  to  an- 
other. 


152      POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

The  man  who  dreads  the  idea  of  doing  some- 
thing will  attempt  it  without  hesitation  if  he 
finds  himself  supported  by  some  one  who  seems 
to  have  no  doubt  as  to  the  happy  outcome  of  the 
enterprise. 

It  is,  therefore,  most  essential,  in  order  to 
exercise  a  beneficent  influence  upon  his  house- 
hold, that  the  head  of  a  family  should  be  possest 
of  poise,  which  will  awaken  in  them  a  sense  of 
protection,  while  at  the  same  time  making  them 
aware  of  a  kindly  authority. 

It  must  not  be  inferred  from  this  that  every 
head  of  a  family  should  pose  as  being  infallible. 

This  would  be  a  most  foolish  proceeding  on  his 
part.  It  would  often  happen  that  circum- 
stances, by  proving  his  predictions  untrue,  would 
destroy  the  faith  in  him  that  those  in  his  house- 
hold must  possess. 

It  is  only  the  presumptuous  and  the  egotis- 
tical who  pride  themselves  on  their  infallibility, 
as  we  have  pointed  out  at  length  in  preceding 
chapters. 

The  man  of  real  poise  will  be  more  than  care- 
ful not  to  pose  as  a  prophet,  still  less  as  an 
autocrat. 

He  will  study  to  establish  about  him  an  atmos- 
phere of  confidence  suited  to  the  development 


THE  SUPREME  ACHIEVEMENT    153 

and  the  strengthening  of  the  bonds  which  unite 
him  to  those  of  his  household. 

Nothing  is  more  touching  than  the  blind  faith 
shown  by  some  children  toward  their  parents. 

People  of  timidity  will  never  arouse  a  feel- 
ing of  this  sort. 

However  real  the  affection  of  children  may  be 
for  such  parents,  there  will  always  be  mingled 
with  it  a  modicum  of  indulgent  pity,  caused  by 
their  distrust,  if  the  parents  happen  to  be  people 
of  timidity,  of  what  seem  to  them  mediocre 
abilities. 

They  will  feel  themselves  more  willingly  at- 
tracted toward  a  stranger,  if  his  attitude  toward 
life  appears  to  be  one  that  may  support  and 
assist  their  weakness.  Their  affection  for  their 
parents  will  be  in  no  way  diminished,  but  they 
will  cease  to  regard  them  as  being  vitally  neces- 
sary to  the  harmony  of  their  existence. 

This  lack  of  trust  that  timidity  occasions  can 
result  in  very  serious  misfortunes. 

In  driving  a  child  who  seeks  for  some  firm 
guidance  to  appeal  to  others  than  his  natural 
protectors,  there  is  always  the  risk  of  his  follow- 
ing a  method  of  education  that  is  basically  op- 
posed to  all  the  traditions  of  the  family. 

How  many  children  are  thrown  in  this  way 


\ 


164     POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

upon  the  tender  mercies  of  a  teacher  whose 
views  of  life,  albeit  perfectly  honorable,  are  quite 
opposed  to  the  plans  of  the  parents. 

Such  people,  instead  of  complaining  of  the 
conduct  of  the  teacher  and  crying  out  about  the 
leading  astray  of  their  child,  would  do  better  to 
question  themselves  and  to  ask  their  own  hearts 
whether  their  children  have  ever  found  in  them 
the  protection  that  is  being  given  them  by  others. 
We  do  not  want  to  overwork  the  old  fable  of 
the  oak  and  the  ivy.  Nevertheless,  it  is  to  the 
point  to  remark  that  this  plant  attaches  itself 
to  none  but  the  most  solid  trunks,  disdaining  the 
weaker  saplings  that  will  bend  beneath  its  weight 
and  will,  after  a  little  while,  force  it  to  return 
to  the  ground  instead  of  helping  it  to  climb  into 
the  air. 

The  man  endowed  with  poise  plays  in  his  own 
family  the  role  of  the  oak  which  lends  the 
strength  of  its  trunk  as  an  aid  to  weakness,  cover- 
ing with  the  shadow  of  its  branches  the  feeble 
efforts  that  too  hot  a  sun  or  too  violent  a  storm 
might  easily  bring  to  nothing. 

And  if  the  storm  should  break  it  is  the  crest 
that  it  presents  with  pride  to  the  fury  of  the 
elements  that  will  keep  it  from  being  itself  des- 
troyed. 


L 


I 


THE  SUPREME  ACHIEVEMENT    155 

It  must  also  be  remembered  that  the  instinct 
of  the  Ego  flourishes  in  every  one  of  us,  often 
quite  unconsciously,  but  always  with  sufficient 
force  to  make  it  certain  that  this  ego  will  be 
developed  in  the  direction  in  which  it  sees 
chances  of  support. 

We  are  not  speaking  here  of  mere  egoism, 
which  is  a  species  of  acknowledgment  of  weak- 
ness that  very  young  children  are  incapable  of 
making  to  themselves,  but  which  those  who  are 
older  will  try  to  avoid. 

But  there  is  no  one,  even  among  the  most 
strong,  who  has  not  felt  at  some  time  in  his  life 
the  joy  of  finding  counsel,  moral  support,  or 
protection,  if  only  in  the  form  of  a  hearty  and 
energetic  agreement  with  his  ideas. 

One  can  not  wonder,  therefore,  that  people  of 
poise  are  able  to  draw  to  themselves  sympathies 
and  devotion  of  which  the  timid  are  entirely 
ignorant. 

We  should  add  that  poise,  in  giving  one  ease, 
imparts  to  the  slightest  gesture  a  fittingne^s  that 
constitutes  a  special  grace,  that  one  can  not 
always  define,  but  where  appearance  can  never 
be  mistaken. 

It  might  be  termed  distinction. 

People  of  poise,  whether  they  be  homely  or 


156      POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 


THE  SUPREME  ACHIEVEMENT    157 


handsome,  insignificant  or  imposing,  sickly  or 
radiating  health,  all  possess  this  enviable  gift  in 
a  marked  degree. 

Distinction  is  the  parent  of  victory. 

It  conquers,  for  those  who  possess  it,  the 
greater  part  of  their  adversaries,  who  lay  down 
their  arms  without  dreaming  of  offering  battle. 

Distinction  impresses  every  one,  both  those 
who  are  deprived  of  it  and  those  who  are  possest 
of  it. 

It  is  the  most  direct  means  of  influencing 
others  in  the  direction  one  wishes  them  to  take. 

It  is  hardly  necessary  for  us  to  restate  here 
that  there  must  be  no  harmful  influence  in  all 
this,  no  abuse  of  power. 

Distinction  is  only  efficacious  and  only  pos- 
sesses its  proper  force  when  it  is  the  outcome 
of  the  qualities  we  have  been  endeavoring  to  in- 
culcate in  this  book. 

False  distinction,  that  which  is  based  upon 
effrontery,  is  like  those  mirages  of  the  desert 
whose  appearance  troubles  the  traveler. 

At  first  he  rejoices  at  seeing  before  him  a 
countryside  that  seems  like  his  hoped-for  goal, 
but  as  he  presses  forward  the  picture  fades  away 
little  by  little  and  he  perceives  that  he  has  been 
the  victim  of  an  empty  dream.     This    is    in- 


variably what  happens  when  what  appears  to 
be  distinction  is  founded  merely  upon  bravado 
and  bluff. 

The  credulous,  who  are  at  first  deceived  by 
the  illusion,  very  soon  arrive  at  the  point  where 
they  perceive  their  error,  and,  with  the  dissi- 
pation of  the  mirage,  comes  the  contempt  of  the 
person  who  has  thus  made  them  take  him  seri- 
ously. They  do  not  find  it  an  easy  matter  to 
forgive  him  for  having  made  dupes  of  them 
and  their  anger  increases  with  the  hurt  to  their 
wounded  pride. 

Those  people,  on  the  other  hand,  who  possess 
that  distinction  that  comes  from  the  qualities 
inherent  in  poise,  are  sure  of  being  able  to  pre- 
serve it  untarnished,  because  their  influence  will 
never  be  enfeebled  by  disappointments  they  may 
cause  in  others. 

If  they  are  ever  conquered  for  a  moment,  it 
is  never  because  of  weakness  or  lack  of  character. 

Their  defeat  can  never  in  any  case  be  con- 
sidered as  decisive.  Their  energy  will  cause 
them  to  face  the  battle  anew,  armed  by  the  very 
defeats  of  the  past,  and  rendered  invincible  by 
their  cool  determination. 

The  mere  habit  of  fighting  tempers  their  souls 
and  makes  them  strong,  while  the  recollection 


ii 


158     POISE:  HOW  TO  ATTAIN  IT 

of  past  reverses  makes  them  more  wary  and 
more  keen  to  take  advantage  of  the  lessons  to 
be  learned  from  events. 

Thus  they  will  not  be  slow  in  exacting  that 
revenge  from  fate  which  will  renew  the  confi- 
dence of  all  their  friends. 

They  are  a  power,  and  under  this  title  they 
receive  the  homage  of  all.  Their  existence  is 
held  to  be  a  vital  thing  by  all  those  who  would 
stay  their  own  weaknesses  upon  their  strength. 

Their  assistance  may  not  always  be  effective, 
but  it  has  the  air  of  being  so,  and  those  who  are 
afraid  of  failure  are  always  anxious  to  have 
near  at  hand  a  force  upon  which  they  can  rely 
to  keep  them  from  defeat. 

Every  one  who  has  helped  to  teach  a  child  to 
walk  has  noticed  that  when  its  mother  remains 
beside  it  and  holds  it  up  by  the  imaginary  sup- 
port of  her  hand,  it  steps  out  with  confidence. 

If  she  should  go  several  paces  ahead,  the 
child,  left  to  itself,  and  overcome  by  the  fear 
caused  by  the  withdrawal  of  her  protection, 
which  he  really  does  not  need,  hesitates,  stumbles, 
and  presently  falls  down. 

Men  who  are  endowed  with  poise  are  not  only 
appreciated  by  the  weak  of  spirit,  they  are  also 
esteemed  and  valued  by  those  who  possess  quali- 


THE  SUPREME  ACHIEVEMENT   159 

ties  similar  to  their  own.  Such  people  are  glad 
to  meet  a  fortitude  that  approximates  to  theirs. 
They  are  infinitely  better  fitted  than  others  to 
escape  the  pitfalls  with  which  the  journey  of 
life  is  strewn.  If,  in  spite  of  everything,  mis- 
'  fortune  should  attack  them,  they  will  meet  it  so 
bravely  and  will  combat  it  with  weapons  of  such 
unusual  temper  that  it  will  hasten  to  beat  a 
retreat  in  order  to  knock  at  the  door  of  some 
timid  soul,  who  will  yield  to  it  without  a  struggle 
and  will  allow  it  to  take  possession  of  him  with- 
out a  murmur. 


1.11 


t 

I 


A   NEW  and  Entirely  Up- to- Date 
DICTIONARY 


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It  is  a  special  handy-sized  dictionary  designed 
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